Toby had another one of his incidents, and family was bitten. I was told, “This dog needs to be put down.” Had it not been the weekend, Toby would likely be gone already. While I absolutely do not want to hurt my puppy, I find it difficult to justify working so hard to keep him with me.
Thinking that it might be my last hours with my boy, I wanted to spend every moment with him. I fed him everything good I had in the fridge. We played his favorite game – Tennis Balls. I took him for as many walks as he wanted. Toby made it harder on me by repeatedly telling me, “I love you. I love you.” (Having a talking dog is not always a good thing.). When I took him out to pee, he insisted on bringing his stuffed dragon with us. When he went to his kennel, he took his stuffed tiger with him and made his bed like he did when he was a tiny puppy organizing the polka-dotted blanket his breeder sent home with him. I cried so much, so hard, thinking of all the ways I had failed my boy I’m surprised I didn’t collapse into dust from dehydration.
For some reason my family thought it odd that I would mourn for the loss of my awful puppy. “But he’s terrible; you should get rid of him”. (True.) “Everyone’s afraid of him”. (I know.) “You could always get a new dog.” (It took me two years to find him! How likely is it that another dog would suddenly plop into my lap?).
In the evening, I took Toby to the church grounds. Even though God is everywhere, it is easier to think of Him hanging around there. I just stood with Toby and prayed the only prayer I could think of: “Help my boy. Help my boy. “
Monday morning I called the vet to discuss what happened and what she thought my options might be. I asked what she would do if he were her dog. Knowing tha Toby has a cyst that won’t heal and how pain reactive he is, she suggeted we go ahead and try surgery to excise the cyst. Perhaps removing the pain from his life might allow him to calm down enough to be able to train with him. She said the choice was mine, though, whether I wanted to destroy him or not.
Toby’s surgery is scheduled for Tuesday. I don’t know how I am going to make it through his recovery since he is so pain reactive. The vet recommended a basket muzzle that allows him to eat and drink. I have been looking into them, but I feel overwhelmed by the different choices and how you need to train your dog to wear one. There isn’t time to get Toby used to one before his surgery. If I put one on him, how long could I keep it on him? How long would he allow it to be on before he figured out how to take it off? I am trying to picture Toby with a cone, it is seems equally dangerous. (Well, for me, anyway.).
While I don’t know how this is going to work out, I am trusting that God will provide what we need at each step. For right now, I am grateful for the two additional days I’ve had with my little boy.
I know he’s scary and dangerous, but this is how I see him with my heart.
The Adventures of Bitey Dog 
I AM SOBBING WITH YOU
BUT ALSO DEEPLY ANGRY WITH THE HEARTLESS SO CALLED FAMILY FOR THEIR VILE WORDS.
OK YOU HAVE TAKE N STEP ONE THE IMPORTANT ONE… GETTING HELP START WORKING ON STEP 2 BELIEVING IN YOURSELF .. YES YES I KNOW TOO WELL THE HARD ROAD THAT IS WALKED IT WITH FLICKA
THEN YOU CAN GO ON TO STEP 3 … TURN ON THE EVIL ONES IN SO CALELD FAMILY.. SUGGEST THEY WOULD BE VERY DIFFERNT IF IT WAS HUMAN CHILD YESSS DUMP IT THROW IT AWAY WOULD THEY ???? DONT HOLD BACK MISS LES VENT THE PAIN AND ANGER AT THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN SOULESS CALL IT EXACTLY AS IT IS
I HAVE ENOUGH ANGER AT THEM FOR BOTH OF US BUT DO YOUR SHARE OF VENTING
FROM ALL THIS TOBY WILL BEGIN TO HEAL ITS A LONG ROAD BUT BREATH ITS DOABLE
ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU YOU CAN BOTH DO THIS AND ‘THEY” ARE BITTER MEAN SOULESS ENTITIES. CUT NO SLACK RISE ABOVE IT BOTH OF YOU YOU NEED EACH OTHER,,, YOU CAN BOTH BE WHOLE AGAIN HUGSSSSSSSS
I will treasure your words! ❤️
FINALLY GOT WORDPRESS TO LET ME POST !!
Yay!
I hope the surgery helps him feel better and allows you to keep him with you.
Thank you! I hope both of our puppies are with us for a long time. ❤️
I am sitting here weeping. This is so very sad. Poor Toby! Poor you!
If it was my decision, I’d have the surgery done, and then see what can be done to help him through the recovery period. I would want to give him every chance to feel better, to heal, and to have a fresh start…he’s such a beautiful, intelligent, amazing boy.
It will be a matter of taking one day at a time. (Cooper has had 4 surgeries in his life and the recovery periods were a struggle at times, but we just focused on one day at a time.)
You have NOT failed Toby! You’re a great mom…you love him, you spent time with him, you care for him, and I’m sure you understand him better than anyone else.
AND I know it’s not a one sided relationship…he has brought you joy, companionship, and so so so MUCH more!
I’m in shock at the things your family said. 😦
Do those family members live with you and Toby?
I believe in praying and doing my meditations. I will pray for Toby. I will pray for you.
Please keep us posted. We care about both of you. ❤️❤️
(((HUGS))) and ❤️❤️
Thank you for your thoughts and prayers! ❤️💕
What were some of the difficulties during Cooper’s recoveries? Geordie was always a good patient, and I don’t know what sorts of things to expect. ( I hope Toby surprises me and is a good boy.)
All in all what Coop went through was probably considered minor stuff…and he was a good patient…but like, one example, the cone the vet gave us didn’t work for him. He’s so short, when he’d put his head down, the cone kept dragging, and catching, on the ground and it would “slam” into his poor little neck.
We found an inflatable collar, on-line, for dogs to wear after surgeries. It was a god-send! He could eat with it on, walk with it, sleep with it, he didn’t seem bothered by it in any way.
Then for example, after one of his surgeries that was on 3 of his feet…just keeping the bandages changed every day, having them come off constantly, etc…ughs….we finally found some newborn baby socks to put on his feet over the bandages and that worked.
Be sure to ask about any concerns or things that they think might be issues related to Toby’s specific surgery. Or related to any med’s he might have to take, etc.
Cooper wanted to be held constantly in the days after surgeries. Which was fine with me. I love to hold him. 🙂
If I think of any others, I’ll share them with you.
Thank you! I hope Cooper never has to go through any more surgery indignities. (Even though mommy wouldn’t mind the extra cuddles. 😊)
Thank you. At his advanced age I hope he doesn’t have to either. He’s already been through too many. 😦
❤️
Sod the family, go for the surgery. You two will pull through together.
Thank you for the vote of confidence!!
I’m so sorry you are going through this! My Cairn, Duncan is quite reactive as well so I understand somewhat of what you are going through. You love Toby, he is family, your family should try to understand that.
The donut cone is a good option as mentioned above.
Hugs to you and Toby. Praying his surgery goes well and his recovery is speedy!
Thank you for the sympathy!
I am sorry your pup is reactive too. It can be difficult to guess what will set them off.
More than keeping Toby from licking his wound, I am looking for a way to keep him from biting anyone. I wish donut cones could help with that.
He’s your dog, not the family’s so you do what is in your heart. Good luck with the surgery and recovery, hoping it’ll only be a short time.
If I survive his surgery with all my fingers, I’ll keep you posted! 😆
Hopefully Toby will change. I don’t think he is happy the way he is. If there is no improvement helping him go to the Bridge might be an act of mercy. .
You’re right, but I’m hoping not to have to do that. It would be nice if my little guy could live out his full life (without harming anyone).
Okay, I had a good cry with you. Your relatives are obviously not dog people. They don’t/can’t understand and therefore they can’t give sound advice. Apologize for the bite, of course. Then, your dog worries (and in fact your dog) are none of their business.
I can’t believe you have to wait a whole week for the surgery, when Toby is obviously in so much pain! But you WILL get through the recovery, both of you. You have crowds lined up to give you all kinds of advice*, and lots of knees bent in prayer for both you and Toby.
*(I have very little to offer. My boys have all been good patients. But my niece manages a vet clinic and has LOTS of experience. 😉 )
The vet tech said that surgeries were booked up thanks to the holiday. I was happy to get one as soon as I did. I’m looking forward to Toby soon feeling better, but I dread his recovery.
Does your niece have any stories to share? Like you, my previous pup was a good patient, so I don’t know what to expect from a bad one.
I’ll ask her. Where is the cyst? (P.S. What’s the trick to replying on the WP site, do you know?)
Toby’s cyst is on his back almost at his tail. I have a photo of it a few posts back. I think it was titled “Why Do People”.
I don’t know what is going on with the WP site. Lots of people have been telling me they are having trouble, but I don’t know what’s causing it.
Well, I’m sobbing. Quote Elon Musk to your relatives – “Go F yourselves.” I’m praying so hard for Toby and for you. You will get through this, you’ve been through too much together to give up now. I know how those times of despair take over, and Maverick has nowhere near the issues Toby does. It sounds like your vet is aware of Toby’s problems and I’m sure that she can offer you advice, drugs, whatever it takes to keep him and everyone else safe while he recovers. It won’t be easy. And if you can’t do it, no judgement. You can only do what you can. Toby – we love you. Please see past your pain and see the love and let it replace the fear in your heart. And dear God, hold him in your hands.
I can’t type…I’m crying too hard. That is so beautiful. 😢 ❤️
Meant every word. 💕🙏🙏💕
Of course Toby bites! It’s the name of the blog (and that was Geordie)!
I sort of imagine Toby being misunderstood and so he lashed out, not unlike Toto in The Wizard of Oz. He bit that old wicked witch Gulch and she deserved it!
But since it’s not an MGM studio or 1939, this isn’t being so well accepted in this day and age.
I really feel for you. I’d walk through fire for my dog. I’m her touchstone and she’s my best friend. To Toby you are his entire world. Even though your life may be full, not even including him, it doesn’t work the reverse for him. He’s not happy being a bitey dog, but it shouldn’t signify the executioner’s knell either.
Assuming the person wasn’t mortally wounded or even required medical care (was it a nip or a bite?), then just move onward. First thing first: get the surgery and get though the recovery period. A quite place to rest for Toby and keep the people away from him, especially the crybaby with slow reflexes who was bitten and also whoever is calling for his head on a platter.
Next: get Toby in a routine. If he requires a muzzle at the vet’s office or groomer, then do it. He sounds mostly fearful and uncertain of his environment, and therefore reactive. (I’m pretty sure this is Biden’s problem with his dog, too. How many people has that dog bitten? 10-12 already??).
I’d advise you to reach out to the Cairn Terrier community. The National breed club, the local cairn terrier rescue organization, local breeders and also maybe go back to the original breeder for advice. Any breeder worth their salt will actually be helpful and even many will require under contract in the terms of sale that any dog they sold, if the person no longer can care for or wants the dog, that it is required for the dog to be returned to the breeder. I know this is a requirement for my dog.
I know you can do this! Stand strong! Literally, get yourself a pair of solid hiker sneakers or even low-ankle hiking boots so Toby can’t yank you over any more. You need to be sure-footed both in walking and in life. Don’t think about the compounding of events as they might seem to be in a bit of a snowball effect right now. And just go forth.
But please, if you do consider/decide to take the euthanasia route, just don’t. Just stop. There are alternatives. I’d seriously question any vet who would even entertain the idea of putting down a healthy dog after a one-time offense. There’s all sorts of training and alternatives such as turning Toby over to the local Cairn Terrier Rescue.
And absolutely post here before doing anything you can’t undo. I can help you and help Toby get him on his way to being re-homed. I have a lot of terrier experience and connections, and even have a growly baby myself. She sometimes growls and I always say “jolly, jolly, jolly!” She smiles and rolls over. Just smile and remember the magic word, Jolly, and never forget that Toby is a sentient being and he can actually tell you that he loves you. How many people can you say that same thing of?
Anony-mouse and The Terrier
Thank you for the good suggestions! I would definitely prefer to give Toby a chance in a new place rather than send him to be with is brother.
Sadly, this is not Toby’s first biting offense. He has bitten a number of people badly enough to draw blood. I have been fortunate that none of them have sued me. I could be in a lot of trouble if they did. What Toby did was definitely a bite, not a nip although he does his share of nips.
I already wear sturdy hiking boots when I walk Toby, but that little stinker still managed to knock me over.🤷♀️
I have been trying to figure out how to properly use a muzzle on Toby. Right now I can’t even handle him to take his collar off. I know you have to train a dog to wear a muzzle, but that will have to wait until after the surgery, I guess, when he is hopefully less reactive.
When he is in an aggressive state, there is no reaching him. It is as if he is pure instinct. He respond to no words. He doesn’t even recognize me. It’s just like when he is asleep.
I’ll have to look into Toby’s breeder and her policies. I don’t remember her saying that I had to return him to her, but I may have dismissed that because I couldn’t picture a time when I might want to return him. It’s so much nicer to imagine him on a literal farm than somewhere that he wouldn’t be understood.
Thank you! I hope to have good news soon.
We all have so much faith in you and in Toby, but don’t let that influence you too much. Only you know how much you can handle, and how much Toby can handle. There has to be a way to break him out of his “trance” when he gets into that state. You just haven’t found it yet.
My heart breaks for both you and Toby. Please know that you have my support and sympathy for your tough times. (Hugs)
Thank you so much! ❤️