The Owie

Pair of boots sitting on grass.

These were my boots when they were young and innocent…before they became attempted murderers.

Photo of swollen and bruised legs.

Fat, swollen, bruised legs.

It is hard to tell from these photos just how swollen and colorful my legs were from the fall. After more than a week of healing, my left knee is only slightly smaller than it was in the photo. (Yuck. Old lady legs.)

Two Cairn terriers asleep on the floor.

I cannot tell you how bored we are with your knees. Walk us already!

If my boys do care about me being hurt, they are hiding it deep, deep down inside themselves. Geordie is normally the slowest, pokiest dog in town on our walks, but now he wants to fly. He is lucky I can’t balance on one leg or I would boot him in the behind.

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To see what my boys do when I am not around, pick up a copy of Dream Our World.

Dream Our World tells the story of two little puppies who go to the museum of their dreams.

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Here is another behind the scenes story from Dream Our World:

The picture called “Dr. T. J. Eckleberg” is a reference to The Great Gatsby. We all remember from freshman English the billboard with the spectacles that represent the eyes of God looking down at the characters? Well, Dr. T. J. Eckleberg is “Mommy” looking down at the naughty pups who are so totally ignoring her that they’ve turned our backs and are playing with stuff they bought from the gift shop.

The Airborne Oak

Little oak tree, you can't live here. Let me take you to the woods and transplant you,

Holy crap! My right boot lace got caught on my left boot hook. My feet are tied together!

Splat!

I didn't know humans could fly. Is it legal to say those words in this state?

Ew, this is so disgusting! I am soaked clear through to my underwear.

Ow! I'm not going to be able to walk for weeks! You know what this means, don't you? No supervision!

I'll go get us something from the fridge. I'll get the toilet brush!

Yes, this was my week. For some reason, bad things are easier to deal with in Bitey World, so I put it here.

I told my neighbor that it really says something about my place in the community that I can lie face down in a puddle of mud in the middle of the street, and people just drive by. Am I like the town drunk where this type of behavior is expected?

I was fortunate that this accident happened only a short distance from where I live. After landing on first my knees, then my face I was still able to hobble home. I was planning to plant the tiny oak in a clearing next to the sideways tree, but he didn’t withstand the trauma of flying. So sorry little one; I tried.

The puppies have been totally disgusted that we have had beautiful weather all week, and they haven’t been outside to enjoy any of it. Their frustrations finally boiled over today. Geordie poked me repeatedly with his nose while Toby beat me with his toy moon. Thanks for the sympathy guys.

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For a pleasant distraction, pick up a copy of Dream Our World. Inside, Bitey and Toby spend a day at the museum of their dreams.

The book has a number of inside jokes (to me, anyway). One is that the “Additional Artists” are all really me. If you note their names, they are the letters of my name rearranged. If you like my work and would like to commission your own piece of artwork, please visit my store for more examples.

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What Would Happen If….

I wonder what my boys would do at a museum? ....and so concludes our broadcast of famous museums around the world.

In Dream Our World, you are invited on an extraordinary journey of the imagination where Bitey and Toby visit the museum of their dreams. The exhibits at the MOTI have the unique twist of being depicted as the pups see them. And how is that? With the boys front and center, of course!

Bitey and Toby’s story is told in pictures, not in words. Let the paintings speak to you. Let your mind tell the story. Most of all, have fun!

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I am both happy and sad to have this book done. I have been working on it so long that it feels like a part of me. Inside, I have constructed a world made of pieces of my neighborhood mixed with drawings of my pups’ actual personalities. If you read it, I hope that you enjoy the adventure!

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The Azalea According to Toby

Very sad looking little azalea plant.

Despite my best efforts to keep him away from it, Toby picked this little azalea as his favorite peeing spot over the Winter. I can only imagine what his daily waterings did to the plant. As you can see it doesn’t look quite like the other Spring flowers. I am not positive, but I think it heard it murmuring something that sounded like “electric fence“.

Peek-a-boo!

I don’t know what you are complaining about. It looks fine to me.

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Don’t forget to tell your friends about the sale on Summer clothes for kids at my shop. This Pastel Plaid Sundress is only one of many wonderful items for sale.

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There is still time to order Poopiter before reading Bitey and Toby’s next book. It will introduce the characters and help to better explain the picture “Peppermint Girl”.

I will be posting a link to the new book later this week!

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Its Been an Exhausting Day

Two Cairn terriers asleep on the floor.

Just before this picture was snapped, I am sure I heard a whispered, “Mischief managed” and a light tap. I bet if you check their pockets, you’ll find a particular map.

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As you can see, my two have mastered “We’re so bored we’re going to die”. They are frustrated because I have been at the computer too much this past week. I am just so close to getting this blasted book done that I don’t want to quit now. The book is trying to quit. It is doing everything it can to commit electronic suicide, but I keep bringing it back from the edge. If I’m successful, I may have something to post about later this week.

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Come visit my store where we are having a Springtime sale for young people! Find a lovely assortment of both dressy and casual styles for boys and girls, including this pair of hand painted retro rooster designed overalls.

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Barkers (Another Bad Poem by Bitey Dog)

Cairn terrier sitting on tile floor

We bark in the morning.

We bark in the night.

We bark to surprise folks

And cause them a fright.

A squirrel on the railing

Deserves an “Awoo!”

Till our barkers stop working

Our job is not through.

– Bitey Dog

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Bitey and Toby’s next book is close to being done. Hooray! Everyone can be glad that I haven’t posted in a while because I would likely have taken over Bitey’s blog to whine and complain about how I don’t understand formatting and how my word processor is not working. (As you can see, I did not do that today. Bwahahaha!)

Before the next book comes out, you may want to read Poopiter. Poopiter tells of Geordie and Toby’s first year together and how Toby kept trying to kill himself. (He tried again last week. Different toad, though.)

Bitey Dog and Toby in POOPITER

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The Church Bell – by Geordie D. Dog

Statue of Christ and children

Our church has many ding-a-lings

That come to mass each week.

The answers to life’s questions

They often come to seek.

Instead of thinking proFOUND thoughts

They like to kneel and chant.

And that is all we have today.

That is Geordie’s rant.

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Why not stop by my store and pick up a touch of Spring to add to your life? This set of hand embroidered pillow cases are on sale as part of an Easter promotion.

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