Toby Saves the Day

 

Drawing of stinky socks surrounded by flies.

Meet teeny, tiny Toby,

His toots more lethal than old socks!

And if you ever smelled them,

You’d be a pine-y box.

wooden coffin with cross on it

All of the folks around him

Looked upon his toots with fear.

On more than one occasion,

They’d been known to kill a deer.

Two deer dying of stink fumes from Toby's toots.

Then one sunny afternoon

Recruiters came to ask:

“Toby with your toots so rank,

Won’t you come augment our tanks?”

Army recruiter asks Toby to join the cause.

Toby stands atop a tank, tail pointed toward the enemy.

Then how the nation loved him

As they sang and did a dance.

You, teeny tiny Toby

You have lethal flatulence!

Toby surfs on a grateful crowd after his farts save the day.

The itty bitty monster was living up to his reputation again this week….

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Bitey Dog and Toby in POOPITER

Don’t forget to pick up your copy of Poopiter .  Available at Amazon!

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What Am I?

Purple Dog Toy

Plush purple dog toy

“Santa” dropped off some gifts for me to wrap for the boys so as to lighten his load come Christmas eve.  One of the gifts was this cute-yet-mysterious plush animal toy.  The face seems familiar, but what is it supposed to be?  It looks a little like an unspotted giraffe.  Or it might be a sort of kangaroo?  I am not sure, but I thought someone out there might recognize him/her.

The animal is intended for Toby, but I have a feeling he is going to be more interested in the wrapping paper than the toy.  Why? He attacked the tube of paper while I was trying to wrap the gifts.  Just as little humans are more interested in the box than the toy, so are tiny canines.  Perhaps I should just give my boys paper and boxes and be done with all the shopping nonsense.

 

 

*grumble, grumble* Sharing

 

Two Cairn terriers sun themselves near the door.

Can you believe that I have to share my spot with him?!?

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Bitey Dog and Toby in POOPITER

Don’t forget to pick up your copy of Poopiter in time for the holidays!  Makes a great, heart-warming gift for any dog lover in your life as well.

Or…

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A Tired Mommy Is a Good Mommy will give a glimpse into life for Bitey B.T. (Before Toby) featuring the poems Toy of the Gods and Whispers.  Also, learn the origin of Geordie’s Thanksgiving angst!

 

Thanksgiving Poem

Cairn terrier puppy tears up box of tissues.

We’re thankful for tissues

to tear and destroy.

We give thanks for each other

We pesky brown boys!

Two Cairn terrier pups ride in the car.

(You may recognize the tissue incident from the boys’ book, Poopiter.  So many of those stories are based on actual events!)

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Only a few hours till Black Friday. Make sure to put Bitey and Toby’s book Poopiter on your holiday shopping list.  The boys’ antics are sure to make anyone smile.

Bitey Dog and Toby in POOPITER

Bitey shares many of his own stories to share from B.T. (Before Toby) in his book A Tired Mommy Is a Good Mommy.  Inside, learn the origin of Geordie’s Thanksgiving angst.

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Is It Thanksgiving Yet?

Cairn terrier puppy hold his food bowl.

Am I Snoopy?  I feel like Snoopy.

Like so many in the US, Toby is eager for Thanksgiving to arrive.  He is optimistic that if he jumps quickly, he will get the contents of the table first.

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Unfortunately my pups’ online lives have once again been overshadowed by my quest for a new home for my store.  There are many choices out there, but it is difficult to find an honest review of each to determine if they would fit the needs of my business.

Wix is an attractive site for those of us who want to spend time creating items to sell but who are not tech savvy.  There are extremely varying views about whether or not Wix shops are good for SEO, though.

Etsy works for many, but it is easy to get  lost in the crowd there.  I finally left several years ago because I had to spend so much time updating my shop to meet their constantly changing listing requirements.  (That and I wasn’t getting any sales.)

WordPress also offers an ecommerce package.  I have read that WP sites can have security issues, though, and that makes me reluctant to take the risk.

If I  had more  money, I would try Shopify.  It seems to get the best all-around reviews.  Sadly this change is coming on the heels of a not-stellar business year.  I am reluctant to invest that heavily on an new site when money is tight.

I have looked at even more sites, and it seems that the marketplace ones want to discourage individual branding.  The more independent sites get poor ranking with Google.  The choices are all so ugly and expensive.  There ought to be a better way to go about online marketing,

So, until I make a decision, I guess poor Bitey and Toby will have to hover by the keyboard, waiting for their turn at the computer.  Guys, I would love to turn it over to you.  If I could just figure out the lesser of the evils…

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Bitey Dog and Toby in POOPITER

Christmas is coming soon.  Don’t forget to order your copy of Poopiter (and a few for friends and family too)!

Or, you could check out their first book, A Tired Mommy Is a Good Mommy for a virtual escape into Bitey’s world over the holidays.

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Why You Shouldn’t Give a Terrier an Inflatable Ball

Toby's uninflated soccer ball.

This is Toby’s new soccer ball that Grandma got for him. He was afraid of it until he realized that he could sort of pinch it and carry it around. Well, that lasted about three minutes…..

I guess like the fuzz handles he likes to chew into his tennis balls, Toby prefers the convenience of “customized” balls.

Tennis balls with fuzz handles that a puppy has chewed from their covers.

To my dismay, one of his favorite things to do with these customized balls is to grab them by their “handles” then swing them around and beat me in the leg with them.

Why was it again that I thought having a puppy would be a good idea?

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Christmas is right around the corner.  Don’t forget to pick up copies of Bitey and Toby’s Poopiter to give to friends and family.

Bitey Dog and Toby in POOPITER

Sure to bring a smile to your face!

Bitey Is Alive and Well!

Yes? Can we help you?

Bitey and the little usurper are both having a great time in the recent cold weather.  They are probably both ticked at me for not posting much for them this month.  I am working on a new book for them that is very different from the last two.  It is a great deal of fun to create, but I am afraid it keeps me away from the computer.

Also, I recently found that the site where I have my store established is forcing everyone to add the payment processor Stripe to their businesses.  I have investigated this company over several years, and I am alarmed at the business practices they engage in as well as their fees.  Of course, it is possible that I am overreacting to what I have read.  Out of curiosity, do any of my readers use Stripe?  Have you been satisfied with the service?  Just in case, I am looking into new homes for my shop in case I feel that I can no longer do business where I am.  What a pain.  Why can’t I win the Publishers’ Clearinghouse already?!?

(If you are a NTOS shopper, don’t worry, I will still be around!  My shop may change appearance if I relocate, but all the items will be there as will the same great service you have come to expect!)