Toby…I Mean Blue Puppy…Strikes Again

Last week I had two jobs come in.  My boys absolutely hate when I have to work and my attention is taken away from them.  Toby, I mean Blue Puppy, had a bit of a meltdown over this.

Tipped over trash can.

Naughty Cairn terrier tears up trash while his toy Blue Puppy watches the carnage.

Blue Puppy lies amid the trash can carnage.

As you can see, Blue Puppy tipped over the trash can and ripped up all the papers while Toby innocently looked on.  At least this was slightly better than when Toby got into the laundry and paraded around the house with dirty undies.

Toy kitty with stuffing ripped out of its head.

Humpty Kitty also fell victim to the carnage.  All of that stuffing used to be her brains.  I guess now she is Zombie Humpty Kitty.

Humpity! Humpity! Humpity!

How did Humpty Kitty get her name? I dunno.  Maybe we should ask Englebert Humpamint.

Given how miserable today was, I am going to hurry and sign off  so I can get some work done while the boys are sleeping.  It’s funny, they are my muses, yet they keep me from getting absolutely anything done.

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What might Virtual Toby and Geordie do as they nap in front of the TV?

I wonder what my boys would do at a museum? ....and so concludes our broadcast of famous museums around the world.

They go to the museum, of course!

Cover of the book Dream Our World

To read more of their adventures, pick up a copy of Dream Our World.

They are available at Amazon.

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The Tub

I am so down. Without being able to walk, I can't sleep; my appetite is off; I can't even draw.

Why don't you take a nice relaxing bath?  That will make you feel better.

My legs won't bend enough so I can't even do that! I need one of those old lady tubs with the door in the side.

Whaaaaa!!!! So, do you think she will start hawking Vitameatavegamin next or stuffing her blouse with chocolates? I am hoping for the chocolates, myself.

Yeah, I did opt for the chocolates.

Thanks to my recent injury, this is the first time I have ever given serious thought to a walk in tub.  I don’t really want one, but it has been very embarrassing trying to climb in and out of the regular one.

As the song says:

Bad stuff happens in the bathroom

I’m just glad that it happens in a vacuum*

Thank heavens for vacuums or someone might – for instance – draw this unfortunate event and put it on the internet.  That would be bad.

 

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Cover of the book Dream Our World

To see what Geordie and Toby have been up to when they are not making fun of me, pick up a copy of Dream Our World.  In it, the boys go to the museum of their dreams.

Dream Our World is available at Amazon.

 

*Thank you to the team at Bob’s Burgers!

 

 

 

The Muumuu

Whoa, what's with the get up? My knees are so swollen that my pants won't fit.

Plus i am so slow getting to the bathrom that I don't have time to unfasted my pants. And somewhere the Kanaka Maoli are missing a princess...

After all of that dry, boring town meeting stuff, I needed some frivolity in my blog.  Well, it wasn’t funny at the time, but maybe it is now.

For several weeks I had to head to the bathroom when I didn’t need to go because if I waited until I did, it would be too late.   Aah…being injured is so much fun.  No wait.  No it’s not.

Three days before I fell, I had the worst headache I had had in years.  It made me so sick to my stomach that I had to go to bed.  My boys were very concerned for me that day.  They studied my face to see what was wrong.  I even noticed them stopping their fighting game to come over and take care of me.  I thought this was extremely sweet.

When I fell, though, they could not have cared less.  They stood in front of me when I tried to walk.  They attempted to drag me around the block.  They jumped on my cantaloupe-sized knees. I got no sympathy for my injuries from them at all.  So, what are the parameters for dog sympathy, I wonder?  It certainly isn’t falling.

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Cover of the book Dream Our World

To find out how good my boys can be when they want to, pick up a copy of Dream Our World.  Everyone who has read it says that they keep reading it over and over, each time catching new details.  (Come on, give it a try!)

Dream Our World is available at Amazon.

 

 

 

 

The Visionary, Not-a-Town-Council-Meeting Meeting.

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When is she coming home?

On this evening, Toby brought Blue Puppy to the door, and they both sat side by side for the longest time looking outside.  Of course, as soon as I grabbed the camera Toby ran away.

Last week there was a confusing article in the paper about a proposed bike path for this town and which streets might be affected by it.  There seemed to be so many problems with what I read that I decided to go /limp to a town council meeting to find out what was going on.

The meeting was hosted by the Heritage Foundation which is responsible for creating bike trails across the state.  Another function of the meeting was town planning combined with trying to revive the historical society.  While I didn’t agree with everything that was proposed, it was interesting to meet people so passionate about both their hobby and the town.

This town isn’t part of the state-wide bike trail, but some people would like to draw cyclists through the streets as a means of increasing revenue.  They feel that with more traffic will come more business.  I seem to recall, though, that having traffic is not enough, you need to draw the right traffic.

This “town” is basically an intersection of two streets which are lined closely on both sides with residences and houses converted for small businesses.  We have a car dealership, an antiques store, an agricultural store, a nail salon, a bank, a Post Office, a lawyer, two pizza shops, a bar and absolutely no parking.  I am trying to envision how seasonal cyclists will help these businesses.  Most of the time when they come through town now, it is after business hours or on weekends.  Other than the pizza shops and the bar, I can’t see anyone being open when they are here.

In order to bring cyclists into the town, planners have proposed either a bridge or a tunnel so that riders won’t have to cross the dangerous highway that is between the trail and the downtown.  This brings to mind a whole host of other concerns.  Whenever I talk to neighbors about what I learned at the meeting, they all cringe at the mention of a tunnel.  Anything out of sight of daylight is an invitation for trouble.  No one wants to make it any easier to hide drug activities.  We are already a high-traffic location in that we are at an important north-south/east-west intersection along drug trafficking routes.

The history buffs at the meeting wanted to accentuate the significance of different buildings and features of the town (like the horse watering trough*, I kid you not) to try to draw tourists.  The cycling enthusiasts want to create bike lanes along the existing two lane streets that have on-street parking.  The two seem to be at odds with each other.  To create bike lanes, it is likely you will have to destroy the slate sidewalks.  If you destroy the sidewalks, then you have lost part of the history.

My concern is that the proposed bike lane will go pretty much right past where I live.  I would like to make sure that there is still room in this town for slow-moving dog walkers to fit in.  Also, with the landscape the way it is, there are hill tops where you can’t see what traffic might be coming toward you.  I rely on being able to hear cars, but if a silent cyclist were to crest a hill where my pups and I were walking, the results could be disastrous.

Neighbors seem to feel that there is no way that an idea like this one could go through, but they won’t go to any meetings either.  I worry that apathy might allow the few to decide for the many.  Actually, something like that was brought up at the meeting.  The way that the organization is trying to tell people what is going on and to gather feedback is through Facebook and Survey Monkey.  I pointed out that many of the people impacted by this proposed path are not on Facebook and have no idea what is going on.  The group’s reply was that they have no funds and that Facebook is free.  To me, that was a weak argument.  If you have to, go door to door and talk to people.  Senior homeowners don’t deserve to have this sprung on them merely because they don’t use Facebook.

This was my first foray into local politics.  There is a regular town council meeting coming up on Thursday, and I am thinking of going to see what I might learn.  The boys yell at me that I am deserting them, but I reassure them that I am doing this to make sure that we have the freedom to pee on lawns for many years to come.

Horse Watering Trough with Geordie

Not my photo.  Borrowed from the internet

and re-imagined with Geordie.

 

*Truthfully I like the horse watering trough.  It really does have a colorful history.  Geordie likes it because I let him play in it whenever we go downtown.

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For more Bitey and Toby fun, pick up a copy of Dream Our World.

Cover of the book Dream Our World

In Dream Our World, Bitey and Toby spend a day at the MOTI, the Museum of the Imagination.  (Since Geordie didn’t think anyone was looking, he was actually nice to Toby.)

Dream Our World is available at Amazon.

 

 

 

 

Off to the Moon

 

 

 

 

Blurry pic of puppy playing with toy.

Has anyone seen my red shirt?

Here I am, all ready for space! I have my helmet, my bag of biscuits and my squeaky ray gun.

Hole on. Before you go, I have something for you. A new shirt? Thanks! Make sure to wear it on all your missions.

And here are some pictures of your girlfriend. I have a girlfriend? Wow!

Not that Geordie is always trying to get rid of Toby or anything…..

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To see what my fellas were up to before they headed to the museum, pick up a copy of PoopiterPoopiter is an illustrated chronicle of my boys’ first year together.

Bitey Dog and Toby in POOPITER

As you can see, the stories and ideas inside my books often come from real life – including the moon.

Eww…

Close up image of cicadae.

We got really lucky this year in that three different types of cicadae are all hatching at the same time.  If you live in town, it isn’t so bad, but the further out in the country you are the more likely you are to lose your sanity having to listen to millions of these things serenading each other with their songs of courtship.  (A local newspaper told us that we were to expect locusts, but these are obviously not locusts.)

We had a bumper crop of cicadae when Geordie was a puppy, and he loved crunching on the shells.  Thankfully Toby doesn’t seem to be interested in them.  I don’t think I could hold down my lunch if I had to listen to that again.

Two cicadae sunning themselves.

Other than sounding like Hollywood UFOs, these oversized insects are doing something terrible which is distracting the local birds away from a very important job…eating the ants that are taking over my garden!  The robins are so fat and lazy after gorging on cicadae that they lie around on their backs with their wings on their stomachs whining for Tums.

By the time the cicadae are back underground, I think the ants will have taken over like one of those 1970’s TV disaster movies.  (Starring Linda Day George, of course.)

Puppy Cairn terrier chewing on a door stop.

What?  You would rather I eat the cicadae?

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Cover of the book Dream Our World

Come to a world with no ants and no cicadae!  Join Bitey and Toby in Dream Our World as the visit the museum of their dreams.

Inside, the boys imagine themselves into the famous works of art – they have no interest in the lesser known ones – as they explore all that the museum has to offer.

(Honest.  It’s really cute.  I have found that everyone from little kids to great grandmas enjoy it.)