Perfect Lady

Lady Chihuahua sits on Daddy's chair next to the window. Oil on canvas.

Perfect Lady, oil on canvas

Today my heart goes out to all those unlucky pups and peeps who will have a Pandemic Birthday this year.  With a Pandemic Birthday, there are no surprise parties, no regular parties, no cake at the office nor nice dinner at a fancy restaurant with close friends.  By the time all of this is over, if you say, “Hey, it was my birthday six weeks ago!”, everyone will think you are lame.

If you know someone having a birthday during confinement, consider celebrating their special day by having a pet portrait made for them!   Portraits can be done in a variety of mediums (even crayon, if you want) to fit a variety of budgets.

You can contact me here or through my website L Bowman Studios.  Help keep the economy moving and small business alive!

Bored terrier lies next to his tennis ball.

(And Toby full of biscuits.  He insists that is a very important point.)

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Prefer binge gift shopping?  Then order a bunch of copies of Dream Our World!  Bored friends and family will be grateful for the fun diversion where they can visit the only museum in the world still open.

Cover of the book Dream Our World

 At the Museum of the Imagination, Bitey and Toby view the world of art from a canine perspective all while enjoying a day of unsupervised fun.

Dream Our World is available from Amazon.

Escaping the Puppy Traffickers

Sketch of puppy writing about his traumatic ordeal.

My name is Toby.  I am a Cairn terrier.  This is a true story of what happened to me in my own words.

Drawing of puppy sleeping near a window with cloudy skies outside. Inside, his bowl is empty.

Today started out like so many others – with cloudy skies and not enough grub.  But wait, today isn’t the same.  Mom’s purse and keys are out.   Maybe today won’t suck after all.

Drawing of a purse and keys

I had to wait interminable months for afternoon to roll around before we began our trip.   I bounced around on the passenger seat looking out the windows for familiar landmarks.  “Where are we going?” I kept asking.  I should have known something was wrong when she would not answer.  She avoided looking at me and stared straight ahead.

Frightened puppy is pulled from his mother by a masked and gloved figiure. Mom turns her head away.

Finally we pulled into an empty lot.  A shadowy figure in a Hazmat suit glided over.  Mom rolled down the window and shoved me toward this earthbound alien.  “Mommy!  Mommy!”  I cried as I reached for her, but she refused to make eye contact and turned her head away.

Little puppy being stripped of his sweater by a vet tech.

After taking me inside of their disinfectant-scented lair, the latex-clad demons rubbed my fur between their fingers and declared me to be “blown”.  (Not in a long time, sister!)   They said I needed to be “stripped”.  Of what?  My dignity? Let me tell you, it’s already gone.

a naked Toby stands self-consciously.

Naked and afraid, I was carried into a laboratory and plopped onto a cold, steel table.  There they poked  and prodded and squeezed me where nothing but my girlfriend’s nose should ever go.  To distract myself I stared at the wall in front of me.

No, not that one. Get one from the freezer.

Hey, I thought they were supposed to use the ear kind!

A sign hung there declared this person to be a Doctor of Veterinary Medicine.   Under whom did she study?  Dr. Mengele?!  I was poised to snap when someone grabbed my jaws and pried them apart.  Gloved hands were rudely shoved into my mouth.  I spit and snorted, but the violation of my self continued.

Puppies in stacked kennels cry

As the masked figures stepped back to gather more torture instruments, I had a brief glimpse through the open door.  There was a wall of cages filled with frightened pups cowering against thin blankets tossed carelessly at the bottom of their wire prisons.  I realized that I was headed there too.  Abandoned by our families, we were now victims of puppy traffickers.

I have heard of such things with humans.  Unscrupulous traffickers will give their victims drugs to get them hooked so they will compliantly do what they are told.  The shadowy “doctors” came at me from both sides, each carrying a syringe big enough for a horse.  They jab me cruelly in my legs.  Quickly their toxins began to work on me.  I started to feel woozy and disoriented.

Toby after having his nails trimmed

Before I could get my bearings, they came at me with tree loppers and – aaagh!! – they cut off my legs!  Oh the pain!  The pain!  I wanted to run, but with no legs I couldn’t move.*

Sketch of little dog being picked up by his collar

The lights swirled around me.  Voices grew near than faded.  I heard a piece of paper being torn and felt a sharp pain in my hind end.  Unceremoniously I was shoved through the front door.  Alone on the cold concrete, I turned and found a yellow note with the word “FAT” scribbled on it stapled to my butt.  Toby with a "Fat" sign stapled t ohis butt.

 

I can only conclude that the extra biscuits I purloined are what saved me from being yet another dog on that wall of cages, waiting to be handed off to some pervert to sit in his stinking, crumb-filled lap.  Puppies, eat everything you can.  The few extra pounds you put on may render you too large for those overly fussy pupophiles and save your life.

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* They trimmed Toby’s nails.

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I don’t know what happened inside the vet’s office, but when the tech came outside and handed me Toby’s leash, she laughed and said, “Your dog is so funny!”. Uh oh.  I hope he hasn’t been telling stories…

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In case you do like puppy stories, consider picking up a copy of Dream Our World.  Not only will your purchase help small business, it would make  perfect gift for someone stuck inside during the quarantine!

Cover of the book Dream Our WorldFamily members are still going to need birthday presents, and right now no one can get to the store.  Amazon will conveniently deliver this book to you or your loved ones so they do not feel deprived while isolated.

Inside, Bitey and Toby visit the Museum of the Imagination and view the world of art from a canine perspective.  Since real museums are closed, this is one of the few ways to experience some culture.  (Ha ha.)

 

 

Insanity Avoidance Kitty 4

Insanity Avoidance Kitty 4

Oops.  It didn’t work.  I’m insane.

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On Tuesday, Toby will have his first wellness exam/vaccination day under new business rules.  I am a little bit disappointed because I won’t get to see how he behaves around new dogs.  I am secretly happy, though, because I won’t have to see his accusing stares as he has his nails clipped and gets jabbed by nasty needles.

Don't worry, Mom. I'll help.

Jabbed by what, you say? 

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Cover of the book Dream Our World

Help keep small business alive.  Order a copy of Dream Our World  (from Amazon) or a piece of custom artwork from L Bowman StudiosCairn terrier puppy hold his food bowl.You don’t want Toby to have to go out with his begging bowl, do you?

 

 

Tell Me Something Good

Woman and dog dance with joy at seeing the first tulip of the year.

Unexpected joy.

I heard some hosts on TV discussing unexpected good things that have happened to them from the shelter in place order.  One man  used his exercise cycle more and lost several pounds.  Another host was learning to cook since she couldn’t go out to eat.  Several people said their pets were thrilled to have their parents home all the time.

In this neighborhood, people have cabin fever, so they are walking their dogs several times a day.  Humans catch up on news shouted across the street  while pups exchange their own news on every blade of grass.

What is an unexpected joy in your life thanks to this viral adventure?

Cairn terrier sleeping in kennel.

I  like to spend my shelter-in-place time vigorously napping.

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Speaking of adventures, Bitey and Toby can help to take our mind off of being at home with their latest book Dream Our World.  All the real museums are closed, but you can still come to The Museum of the Imagination and view the world of art through the eyes of my pups.  Each page has layers of fun to it from the artwork itself to the pups’ reactions as well as the unique names given to each piece.

Cover of the book Dream Our World

Toby says:  I highly recommend this work.  The characters are so compelling.

Dream Our World would make a great introduction to art for the little ones in your life.

Dream Our World is available from Amazon but not from any museums ’cause – you know – they’re all closed.

 

 

Buckeyes

Drawing of a buckeye

What? Are you guys planning to go to Ohio State when you grow up? Go Buckeyes!

This day was so perfect! Nothing could possibly spoil it.

Toby innocently stands there, wondering what mommy is looking at.

Just wait till you see what I left for you in your shoe.

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Are you stuck at home for the next two weeks?  Possibly with small  children who need to be both entertained and educated?  Then get yourself a copy of Dream Our World Dream Our World will allow you to introduce your children to something called “books” that were made from trees in the old days.

Cover of the book Dream Our World

Inside, Bitey and Toby visit a museum (all the real ones are closed, by the way) and view the world of art from a canine perspective.  They also get to explore the museum without any supervision.  Do they act like little gentlemen or naughty puppies?  Hmmm, I wonder…

Dream Our World is available from Amazon.

 

 

 

Be Careful When You Sleep

Whoa, what happened to you? I'm afraid of the clippers, so Mom keeps sneaking up on me with scissors when I'm sleeping.

(My Mom calls him “Toby of the Butt Tuft.”)

Untrimmed Cairn Terrier

Before

Neatly trimmed Cairn terrier

After

Eventually things get evened out.

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To have more fun at my boys’ expense, pick up a copy of Dream Our World.  Inside, you will get to see the world of art through the eyes of my two pups.

Cover of the book Dream Our World

This would be a great book to have on hand if the grand kids are off school yet you need to keep them entertained as well as educated.  Famous works are recreated and reinterpreted in various mediums all while injecting a touch of humor into each piece or artwork.

Dream Our World is available from Amazon.