Eau de Alpo

Paint peeling from a wall

And you thought I was kidding.  Seriously, these things are lethal.

**********************************************************************

Learn more about how this phenomenon came to be when you read PoopiterPoopiter tells the illustrated tales of Geordie (Bitey Dog) and Toby during their first year together.

Bitey Dog and Toby in POOPITER

Advertisements

Mr. Boombalatti Hides the Evidence

Dog dish half hidden under carpet

To Toby’s great dismay, I have had to put him on a diet for Lent.  Geordie’s pickiness over food has given Toby ample opportunities to become roly-poly by eating his brother’s leftovers.  The other day I found this going on in the kitchen.  In the background, I was pretty sure I could hear Shaggy singing, “It wasn’t me…”

Dog photobombs picture with dish and toy in background

I’m telling you, it was Blue Puppy who ate all the food!

As you can see, Toby clearly blames his little blue puppy for getting into the dishes and then trying to hide the evidence under the rug.

********************************************************************Boy's blue cardigan with red and white argyle accent

Speaking of blue, I bet there is a child in your life who would look very sharp in a blue, argyle cardigan.  Great for chilly days no matter the season, your boy (or girl!) will be both stylish and warm in this sweater.

Lenten Diocesan Appeal

Today I am using Bitey’s blog to vent my own frustrations.  (The views here are the author’s alone.  Bitey Dog does not necessarily agree with the opinions expressed in this rant.)

The local parish decided to start their Lenten appeal by bringing in a speaker to address three reasons why everyone should give more money.  With the first reason, I could find no fault.  They discussed building repairs and maintenance.  Every building needs maintenance.  In the past several years I have seen no extravagant building expenses: no problem there.

The second point they addressed was the neighboring county where 75% of parishes closed due to parishoners “not giving enough money”, therefore we need to give more money.  What?!?  (I need a needle-on-record screeching sound.)  I am sure you are familiar with the diocese next to ours.  It has made the news many times in the past two years for sex abuse scandals.  The reason those churches closed was that parishoners’ money was used to pay lawsuits and legal fees for church leaders doing horrible, illegal things.  Don’t put the blame for closings on members for not giving enough money.

Lastly members are supposed to pay for an expensive private school in the area.  Reportedly attendance has declined by 50% over the last 30 years, yet costs are something like 4X what they used to be per student.  I know that there is a tech element that was not present 30 years ago, but surely school administrators can find a way to adjust education costs to keep them more reasonable rather than expect others to pay the bill.  Home schooling is very, very popular in this area.  It is done on a shoe string budget, but the kids come out with superior educations.  Why not learn from their example?

Cairn terrier sitting with marigolds.

I realize that this isn’t my problem and that I shouldn’t care.  I am not a member of the parish.  Whatever they choose to do with their funds and resources is their own business.  The boys and I support the church because we like to visit the outside.

So, little church, we trust that you will be well in other’s hands.  The boys and I will still pray for you.

**************************************************************************

Peacock colored Star of Bethlehem quilt.

Looking for the perfect gift for someone?  Visit my store for unique, handmade items including this hand-quilted Star of Bethlehem quilt.

 

Who’s Been Sleeping In My Bed?

Puppy sleeping in the back of a kennel.

I had to do a double take the other day.  Geordie was sleeping near the window, and  Geordie was sleeping in his bed.  Wait, what?

While this is Geordie’s bed, the usurping Toby likes to make it his own whenever he gets the chance.  Sometimes Geordie will cry until the little one leaves.  Sometimes he gives up and sleeps outside the door.  One time he tried to paw the puppy out.

I don’t know if Toby feels safer sleeping in his big brother’s bed or if he just likes to put his stank on the blankets so that Geordie can never escape him.  Either way, it is adorable.

****************************************************************************

Teddy bear next to green and white layette set.

Looking for a St. Patty-themed gift for the new little one in your family?  Consider this green and white layette set.  Painstakingly created by hand with needles so tiny they make your hands hurt just looking at them, this layette set will be sure to keep the youngster in your life stylishly and warm during chilly times.

The Biscuit Battle

Happy smiling Cairn terrier sitting next to flowers.

Last year when my beautiful Geordie was diagnosed with cancer, I was devastated.  The vet said my vibrant, active boy had only a few weeks to live so I made it my mission to make him the most spoiled, happiest terrier in all of history.

Geordie has surprised us all by continuing to live a full life despite his illness.  I am thrilled to have my puppy with me for far longer than expected.  What I hadn’t counted on was just how spoiled a little dog can be when he gets everything he wants.

For the past few weeks, he has been positively insufferable.  I have had to cut back on treats and special attention and put him back on the schedule he had before that fateful vet visit.  It has been a difficult decision for me because I realize that I may lose him at any moment.  What kind of a pet parent am I if I deny my puppy his final wish of Marro Bones?   Good or bad, I did it anyway.

Geordie hasn’t given up squawking for treats, but I have noticed that his eyes seem brighter and his tummy isn’t rumbling as much.  He even decided to take me for a walk today.  It seems like an obvious solution to keep a pet on a strict healthy diet, but it is difficult to do when the pet is getting ready to leave.

Geordie insisted that he have a say on today’s blog:

First, I have to tell on Toby.  He went to sleep in my bed, and he didn’t get in trouble at all!!

This evening, Mom took me out to pee.  After we came inside, Toby said he had to pee.  (Never at the same time, right?)  While they were outside, I very kindly helped Mommy open the jar of biscuits in the closet and eat them.  You can tell she likes Toby best because I got yelled at and he didn’t even though he was the one who got caught with the lid in his mouth.  Harrumph.  Why even have biscuits if you are not going to give them to me?!?

********************************************************************

Start your St. Patrick’s Day celebration early by visiting my store.Handmade olive green tweed cardigan for men.

 

Many items are on sale including this handmade olive green man’s cardigan.

Literary Langolier

 

Pamphlet shredded by a puppy

I don’t know how, but I ended up on a mailing list for a college that sends out newsletters every so often.  Sometimes the essays they feature are interesting, so I don’t mind reading them.

A few days ago a newsletter came that dealt with marijuana and lesser known scientific research on links between usage and mental illness.  As I was reading, Toby decided to “help”.  Each time I turned a page, he very kindly shredded it for me.  He was so enthusiastic that I had to read very quickly to keep up with him.

Perhaps hungry puppies could motivate students to do their homework faster?

(I am showing my age with that comment!)

***************************************************************************

Speaking of hungry puppies, don’t forget to pick up a copy of Poopiter.

Bitey Dog and Toby in POOPITER

Poopiter  is an illustrated journey that follows Bitey and Toby during their tumultuous first year together.   A fun read and a great gift!

 

Conversation Hearts

Box of tiny conversation hearts

For years these little candies have been a staple of Valentines Day.  (Made, as some say, of ear wax and chalk.)  My Dad decided that he wanted to get some for my Mom as sort of a joke since she doesn’t like them but he does.  Imagine our surprise when no one could find these little hearts at the store.   I guess couples these days prefer candies that actually taste good as opposed to ones that spark conversations.

Tiny box of conversation hearts.

OK, so I did finally find some for the Fogies to share.  What shocked me was the teeny, tiny size of the box.  I could hear maybe 8 candies rattling around inside.  For shame, Brachs.

My boys, on the other paw, were pretty creative with their gifts.  Geordie wrote one of his special messages for me.  This was the closest he has ever come to saying that he likes me.

Heart shaped poo

I kid you not: it was shaped like a heart.

Poo shaped like the Chinese character for "fire"

Toby’s was the Chinese word for “fire”.  (Perhaps he has a more ardent personality than I give him credit.)

So, if you have ever wondered what the most romantic day in the year is like in Bitey’s world, this is it.

To everyone, we wish you a Yappy Valentine’s Day!