Peppermint Ew

Humpity! Humpity! Humpity!

Hey Mommy, wanna play "Peppermint" with me?

I actually thought that I would be drawing pictures of Toby’s interest in girls by now, but this little boy still has a fondness for his toy peppermint.  People keep asking me if I have had him fixed.  Yes.  For some reason, though, he cannot seem to say no to this particular toy.  Perhaps he has a sweet tooth?

I’ve promised not to spoil his reputation with the ladies by telling about his hobby.  I just wonder….will his first girlfriend be a chocolate lab?

The Tooth Fairy

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To learn more of Toby’s peppermint proclivities, pick up a copy of Poopiter!

Bitey Dog and Toby in POOPITER

Available at Amazon.

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Happy Gotcha Day

 

Happy Gotcha Day, Toby!

Gotcha Day? Yes, the day you were adopted. I'm adopted? But I always thought I looked like Mommy.Toby’s Gotcha Day is coming up this week, and I thought we would celebrate.

Cairn terrier puppy sleeping in kennel.

It’s hard to believe he was such a tiny thing when I first met him.

It’s funny.  There are so many things I want to say about my little boy today, but as I sit down to write I am getting all choked up.  Maybe I’ll just let the pictures do the talking.

Two Cairn terriers on a cold day

Here is Geordie being angry that he had to walk on his own paws while the puppy got carried.  This was the coldest day of that particular Winter and the puppy’s first day outside.  (Maybe that’s why he loves the snow so much.)

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You can read more about the wee beastie’s early days in Poopiter.

Bitey Dog and Toby in POOPITER

Available at Amazon.

Amish Shoes

I can't believe I bought these shoes! Sure they are comfortable, but the are so unattractive. They are positively Amish!

Toby says, "Don't be silly, Mommy. Amish ladies wouldn't be caught dead in those shoes.

Woman cries, "Waaahhhh!!!" Little puppy says, "Sheesh, there is simply no consoling some people!"

Yes, I really did buy the “Amish” shoes.  They are about as stylish as bowling shoes, but boy are they comfy!  My approach to fashion is to pretend it is the 90’s and that clunky unattractive shoes go with everything – including dresses.

Toby has an easy solution for any shoes he doesn’t like; he chews them up.  Sadly, that is his treatment for those that he does as well.

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If you order a copy of Poopiter now, it should arrive in plenty of time to give to your sweetie for Valentines Day.  After all, a sense of humor is one of the qualities most prized in a significant other!

Bitey Dog and Toby in POOPITER

 

Pants on Fire

 

Was she lying? No, she was chasing me.

Fat women shouldn't run in corduroy.

Yes, this is an actual fear of mine.  With all of the “zrp! zrp! zpr!” and friction coming from these pants, I worry about inadvertently starting a natural disaster.  I am sure the best solution would be to walk more…but then I would still be dealing with the whole friction situation, wouldn’t I?  Nah, better to sit back and have another banana smoothie.  Anyway, it’s supposed to rain tomorrow.

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To find out what Bitey, Toby and I have been up to before today, pick up a copy of Poopiter!

Bitey Dog and Toby in POOPITER

I know my boys would love it if you laughed at their terrible misfortunes..

Toby Saves the Day

 

Drawing of stinky socks surrounded by flies.

Meet teeny, tiny Toby,

His toots more lethal than old socks!

And if you ever smelled them,

You’d be a pine-y box.

wooden coffin with cross on it

All of the folks around him

Looked upon his toots with fear.

On more than one occasion,

They’d been known to kill a deer.

Two deer dying of stink fumes from Toby's toots.

Then one sunny afternoon

Recruiters came to ask:

“Toby with your toots so rank,

Won’t you come augment our tanks?”

Army recruiter asks Toby to join the cause.

Toby stands atop a tank, tail pointed toward the enemy.

Then how the nation loved him

As they sang and did a dance.

You, teeny tiny Toby

You have lethal flatulence!

Toby surfs on a grateful crowd after his farts save the day.

The itty bitty monster was living up to his reputation again this week….

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Bitey Dog and Toby in POOPITER

Don’t forget to pick up your copy of Poopiter .  Available at Amazon!

Halloween

 

Guess I am going as for Halloween...King TOOT Uncommon! Ugh. You're Toot "Very Common".

Hope everyone enjoys a fun night of Trick-or-Treating or handing out candy.

As for real Bitey and Toby, we will likely be hiding from night visitors because these two are too barky.  (Don’t ring our bell…we won’t be home!)

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Bring home Bitey and Toby’s stories for Christmas this year.  Order your copy of Poopiter today!

Bitey Dog and Toby in POOPITER

 

The Carnival

Carnival 1, book (800x553)

Idiot.

Idiot.

Toby can find games anywhere….even in leaves blowing past us on our walks.

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Bitey Dog and Toby in POOPITER

To enjoy more of Bitey and Toby’s adventures, pick up a copy of Poopiter.  Makes a great Christmas gift!