What’s Going On In The Garden?

Beets me!

Large garden beet

Really, this is how large it was. Not a record-breaker, but still pretty good sized.

Believe it or not, these are both cucumbers.

The cucumber on the left was 18″ long and nearly 3 lbs. The one on the right was even bigger. (I have a friend with some funny tales about a neighbor who accidentally made cucumber bread instead of zucchini bread.) The yellow one was as sour as a lemon. Interesting…a self-pickling cucumber!

Large garden okra

Okra – still pretty tasty despite being large.

Garden watermelon

Thankfully the watermelon was regular sized.

This year was the shortest garden season we’ve ever had. It lasted less than three weeks. The the beginning of the month we had slightly cooler temperatures and a little rain, and everything exploded. After that we were back to high heat and drought. I couldn’t believe that I actually had to buy a zucchini from the store this summer. Normally I find myself tricking the neighbors saying things like “This one would be perfect for zucchini bread!’ then foisting off a green baseball bat on them. This afternoon I finished pulling up about half of my plants. It is too hot and too late in the season for them to produce more. It is sad to know that the garden is basically done.

Gallery o’ Weird Vegetables

(from years gone by)

Get your mind out of the gutter. Those are sweet potatoes.

Somehow I seem to end up with mostly oddly shaped food. Perhaps that is why nobody want to come over for dinner.

I’ll have dinner with you…as long as it’s beans!

(Max, don’t look)

Boy's dress shirt, tie and suspenders

If your young man will be starting back to in-class school soon, it might be hard to find clothes since most stores and malls are closed. Stop by my store to see what is available to help your child make those important first impressions.

Pea Bane

 

Very small pea plant breaking ground

See my little pea?  I went out super early in the mud and the cold to plant him and his kin so that they would have lots of time to grow big and strong before the heat arrived.

What arrived instead?  The bunny brothers!!!

Mixed media sketch of a bunny

Seriously, what kind of an idiot would lovingly portray vermin such as this?!?  Oh, wait…

Thanks to those two idiot rabbits, my plants never got any larger than in the picture.  If they dared grow over 1″ high, they were chomped off.

 

Garden snake

I tried inviting a snake into the garden, but it turned its head away and lithped thomething about being thcared of bunnies.  I guess this one wasn’t a self-motivated hard worker like that Garden of Eden snake.

Bunny hole dug into garden

Although I have a fence, it didn’t keep the bunny brothers out.  They tunneled in under the tomato plants.  Their tunnel was big enough that it eventually caused the tomato plants to fall over.

 

Snake and dead toad

(Hey snake, why don’t you crawl down that hole?  Snake: “No thankth.  I think I will justh keep eating thith dead toad.”)

I tried using spray made of rotten eggs and garlic and a host of foul things.  The label said that it was supposed to repel all different sorts of animals.Oh gross! The wind shifted!

 

I guess in the manufacturer’s world, “repel” means “come hither”.  Not only did the bunnies like it but so did my dogs.

Mmm...Mummy. What IS that intoxicating scent you're wearing?!?

Cairn terrier stalking prey

Come on Ma, just let me off this leash, and your bunny problem will be history!

Drawing of bunny wearing Bane maskBunny Bane

Why doesn’t the governor force the bunnies wear masks?  It would make it a lot harder for them to eat my vegetables.

If you would like to send pictures of vermin (bunnies) to friends and family, then come visit my store at L Bowman Studios.  I have several styles of note cards to fit your correspondence needs. Mixed media sketch of a bunny

(Oh, and if you haven’t been to the Post Office lately, they have some interesting holographic dinosaur stamps for sale!)

 

Eenie Meenie

…greenie beany!

Yes, most of the beans ended up in the puppy.  I eventually had to hide them on top of the fridge while I washed my hands.  Toby can turn into a mountain goat when he wants something.

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To capture sweet memories of your beloved furbeast, considering having a portrait done!

Oil painting of Westie puppy.

Visit my website at L Bowman Studios to learn more about ordering and pricing.

Remembering the Muumuu

I’m feeling nostalgic, so I am going to remember last year…

Whoa, what's with the get up? My knees are so swollen that my pants won't fit.

Plus i am so slow getting to the bathrom that I don't have time to unfasted my pants. And somewhere the Kanaka Maoli are missing a princess...

Photo of swollen and bruised legs.

There was surprisingly little discoloration

for the  amount of swelling.

Pair of boots sitting on grass.

And yellow is the reason why.

I mean, these are the culprit homicidal boots.

(They look so innocent, don’t they?)

As an act of kindness and self-sacrifice – because you know that’s how my boy is – Toby decided to help me with tilling this year.  He says he wants to save me wear and tear on my boots.  (You can’t tell from the photos, but some of those holes are big enough to hide a 20+ pound terrier.)

Pea plant sprouting

Toby was disappointed when he found out we are growing “peas”.

Cairn terrier peeing.

That’s not the “P” word I was hoping for.

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Cover of the book Dream Our World

If you know a bookstore or shop where Dream Our World might fit, please let me know!  I would love to introduce Bitey and The Usurper to even more humans.

In Dream Our World, Bitey and Toby visit the Museum of the Imagination and view the world of art from a canine perspective.  And how is that?  – With themselves front and center, of course!

Dream Our World is available from Amazon.

 

I Killed It, Ma!

Cairn terrier stands over slain toy

As you can see, Toby is very proud of his hunting skills. 

I could have used Toby’s killing skills in the garden.  That stinky garden bunny left me only half beans to try to pick for dinner. Then, he pooped out his half of the beans all over the pumpkin patch.  Perhaps I should be grateful for the fertilizer, but I used a very eco-friendly time-released one at planting and did not appreciate his ground raisins.

Next year, Toby, you are on bunny patrol.

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Catch up on the boys’ latest adventure with Dream Our World.  In it, the boys visit the museum of their dreams.

Cover of the book Dream Our World

 

First Fruits

Photo of first fruit from the garden this year.

Woo hoo!  The garden has finally started producing something other than weeds!  I had to fight Toby for this cucumber, but eventually I won.  (I cheated.  I threatened to hide Blue Puppy if he didn’t give it up.)

Between my injured knee and all the rain we’ve had, I found it difficult to keep up with the weeds.  Over the weekend, we had two dry days, and I was able to clear out most of what shouldn’t be there.  It was good timing because I found some small zucchini and a couple of cukes which will need close supervision.  Had I waited a few days, I may have ended up with baseball bats instead of veggies.

Toby turned out to be really helpful in the garden.  His favorite food is grass, and he went first for the stuff that had gone to seed.  Had I realized, I would have sent him out there to take care of things and saved myself the sunburn.

Peek-a-boo!

So, I did good?

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Where’s Robert Redford?

Trying to look on the bright side after my fall, I told myself that my enforced sedentism would allow me to catch up sewing or drawing or maybe even blog posts. Instead, the lack of adequate exercise has left me unable to focus on anything and eating way too much.

Last week I was finally able to hobble out to the garden and plant some bedding plants my folks had bought.  I had forgotten just how peaceful it can be in the garden, focusing on one small task at a time when – wham! – some stupid bee stung me.  Twice.

I got stung by a bee while working in the garden.

As always, my boys are completely unconcerned with what happened to me. Toby in particular has been miserable to deal with because he hasn’t had enough exercise.  The two of them jump on me and tip over the trash can and steal my books.  Toby has discovered the bag I have ready to go to charity.  No matter where I put it or how I secure it, he figures out a way to grab something and run.

Enjoy your naughtiness now, little puppy for one day I will be better. On that day, you’ll be in trouble…