Skip the Pie

Two nights ago we had a freeze warning, so I brought the decorative pumpkins inside.

And what did my wondering eyes see then

but a naughty brown dog chewing off all their stems.

Nom..nom..nom...

.

Aagh! Gladys!

Aagh! We’d rather just have our stems chewed!

See what my naughty boys have been up to when you pick up a copy of Dream Our World. Inside, Geordie and Toby visit the museum of their dreams and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun.

Cover of the book Dream Our World

Dream Our World is available from my shop and from Amazon.

Black Pearls

What the heck, Toby. You must have swallowed one of my hairs. It's like a string of black pearls back here. This wouldn't happen if you didnt eat off the floor.
This wouldn't happen if you ran the vacuum more often!

But Toby, you hate the vacuum!

Back end of Cairn terrier sticks out from under the bed.

I know….

**************************

Visit my shop to see the new collection of men’s hand knit cardigans and pullovers. Each one is knit with care of unbelievably soft merino merino/alpaca/tweed yarns. There are a variety of colors and sizes available.

*****************************************

Come with my boys as they visit the museum of their dreams in Dream Our World.

Cover of the book Dream Our World

This is an incredibly fun book enjoyed by readers of all ages. Inside Geordie and Toby view the world of art from a canine perspective while enjoying a day of unsupervised fun.

Dream Our World is available from my store and from Amazon.

Pumpkin Beard

Avast Maties! It is I, the Great Pumpkin Beard!
Oh no! Ants!!
You wouldn't hae this problem if you didn't fight me so hard about washing your face. But I was saving this for later!

Based on actual events.

****************

On Wednesday mom had to turn the compost. She let me in the garden with her but told me not to pee on the cabbages. I didn’t. I was a good boy. Instead I peed on my leash. Then while she tried to grab a non-peey part of my leash, I ran over and stuck my head in compost juice. (Her mix is too green and not enough brown so it smells very, very nasty…just the way we puppies like it.)

This day was so perfect! Nothing could possibly spoil it.

Oh, wait. Something can.

Cairn terrier stands over slain toy

I told you stories about me were more interesting!

Cover of the book Dream Our World

Come and read more stories about my boys’ adventures in Dream Our World. Inside my two little monsters view the world of art from a canine perspective and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun.

Dream Our World is available from my shop and from Amazon.

Don’t Read This (Paving My Road to Hell)

Jesus rejects supplicants because they are not wearing masks.

Ew!  get away!  You’re not wearing masks!

I told you not to read this.

Church is not for me. My mom loves it, though, and I love my mom, so I sit beside her to keep her company.  In this state, the rule is that if you are outside and more than 6′ away from another person, you don’t have to wear a mask.  Due to logistical issues, churches hold services outside instead of in their buildings.  Parishioners scatter themselves across the grounds and the parking lot.

Some people have decided that even outdoors and 6’+ away from other humans, they still feel at risk.  Rather than moving even further away from their neighbors, they decided to write to the priest who initiated a campaign of mask shaming.  I guess around here we have that super virus that is self-propelled.

This past week, the sermon was about being quiet and listening to hear God.  Of course the “bad guys” in the contemporary examples were young children wearing ear buds.  Somehow the priest failed to notice that there wasn’t a single moment of silence in that service for prayer or meditation.  It was filled entirely with organ music and singing.

Young cairn terrier looking over his shoulder.

I’m a terrier.  I am never quiet!

Before everyone left, the priest told listeners that they should be grateful to the volunteers who gave their time to sanitize, sanitize, sanitize the church.*  Then we were told to go forth in confidence and conquer our fears.  From the dirty looks I got when I laughed out loud, I presumed that wasn’t intended to be funny.

Thanks to the many hours I spend each day in the kitchen, I have plenty of quiet time to try to get in touch with a Higher Power.  Instead of amazing revelations, I find such idle questions as, “What happens to the left-overs after pressing olives for olive oil?” in my head.  (If you are curious,  they are dried in the sun and them compressed into briquettes to be used as heating fuel.)

I may not know God’s plans for me, but I know a teeny bit more about olives.

Actually, we puppies are born perfect. We don't need religion to find God like humans do.

*Not sure why all the sanitizing since the people are on the outside.

Oil painting of Westie puppy.

Oil painting of Westie puppy.

If you would like a pet portrait, order now before I am sent directly to hell!  Details about sizes and pricing – as well as other examples of my work – can be found at my website L Bowman Studios.

 

 

 

A Brush with Eww

See the source image

Years ago, I worked for a company doing repairs.  One day, a hugely wealthy client called for a repair job at his mansion.  (The residence was referred to as The Compound)  I refused to go unless I had an escort.  The company did not want to pay two employees to make one service call, so the work ended up being done at the business, not the mansion.  Over the years I would occasionally think about that incident and wonder what I may have missed by not going into such an expensive home.

Last week, I watched  a “Who Killed Jeffery Epstein” special to catch up on what had been going on since I hadn’t been keeping up with current events.  I  hadn’t realized that one of Epstein’s good buddies was Les Wexner – the owner of the mansion where my repair job was supposed to be done.  What was even creepier was that according to the program, this would have been right during the time period where Wexner’s residences were used by Epstein to lure and abuse young women.

Part of the job I did for the Wexner estate was making throw pillows for couches.  Now I wonder what atrocities those poor pillows may have witnessed….or participated in. Ick.
100_4908
Ew, just thinking about that makes me yark.
***************************************

 

If you would like to meet some throw pillows that have not been used in a scandalous fashion, please check out my store  at L Bowman Studios. These Royal Velvet Pillows can be used as accents on furniture or for grandchildrens’ fantasy play or even as a touch of whimsy in your own home.

Eenie Meenie

…greenie beany!

Yes, most of the beans ended up in the puppy.  I eventually had to hide them on top of the fridge while I washed my hands.  Toby can turn into a mountain goat when he wants something.

**************************************

To capture sweet memories of your beloved furbeast, considering having a portrait done!

Oil painting of Westie puppy.

Visit my website at L Bowman Studios to learn more about ordering and pricing.

Catch Up On My Reading

Still remembering The Fall

While I am injured, maybe I can catch up on my reading.

Mom, he keeps stealing my toys! This little twerp is hogging all the sunshine!

Come here so I can beat you up! Yeah, well I'm gonna go pee on your bed!

I'm hungry! When's dinner? I gotta go potty! Then again, maybe I won't.....

Go away. I'm sleeping.

How dare you portray me as anything but the angel I am!

Chewed up cover of the book Wild Land.

(Quit showing stuff like that!)

****************************************

If you would like a book for your puppy to interrupt, order a copy of Dream Our World!

Cover of the book Dream Our World

Inside, Toby and Geordie visit the museum of their dreams while they enjoy a day of unsupervised fun.

Actually, I have thought of this often lately.  Several copies of Dream Our World were being sold at a local museum when the world came to an end.  Bitey and Toby really have been locked – unsupervised – in a museum for months.  It makes me wonder what kind of adventures they have been having without my knowledge.  Hmm, maybe someone should write a book…

Dream Our World is available from Amazon.

Last Spring – The Fall

Little oak tree, you can't live here. Let me take you to the woods and transplant you,

Holy crap! My right boot lace got caught on my left boot hook. My feet are tied together!

The Fall 3

Splat!

I didn't know humans could fly. Is it legal to say those words in this state?

Ew, this is so disgusting! I am soaked clear through to my underwear.

Ow! I''m not going to be able to walk for weeks! You know what this means, don't you? No supervision!

I'll go get us something from the fridge. I'll go get the toilet brush!

It has been a year now since The Fall.  At the time I expected to be better in a few weeks, but it was months before I could even take the dogs for a hobble.  My left knee never did recover, and still can’t fully bend it.

Toby takes advantage of my not being able to properly kick his butt.  This morning – at that magical Dogging Hour of 3:00 a.m. – he decided to destroy a few things around the house.

Toby grabs and chews a package

Heh, Mom’s not looking.  I’m going to steal her package.

Nah, I'm not interested

Oops.  Caught.  I’ll pretend that I am not interested.

Toby glances up at the package he was chewing

I just can’t help myself…

Ooh, I can't help myself. I really want it!

I really AM interested!

*********************************************

Would you like even more adventures with my terrible twosome?  Then order a copy of Dream Our World!

Cover of the book Dream Our World

Inside, my boys visit the Museum of the Imagination and view the world of art  from a canine perspective.

Dream Our World is available from Amazon.

Come On Guys, Let’s Go!

Come on, guys! Let's go!

 

Ugh, why do we have to suffer whenever she overindulges?

Come on Toby.  Let’s be fair.  The real reason you are being taken on three walks a day is because you chewed up my book, ate a note pad, tipped over the trash can, climbed up on the bed and stole a hankie, ran through the house with my underwear…do I need to go on?

Bored terrier lies next to his tennis ball.

No, I know.

After my scale-crunching last post, I have been cutting back on portions and walking more (all the things panicked chubby humans do).  Today I checked, and I found that I had lost -4 pounds.

I guess with everything else in the world being upside down, I shouldn’t be surprised that the laws of physics are too.

**************************************************

Escape your claustrophobic world with a fanciful adventure to visit the Museum of the Imagination in Dream Our World.  Inside, Bitey and Toby enjoy a day of unsupervised fun while viewing  art from a canine perspective.

Cover of the book Dream Our World

Dream Our World is available from Amazon.