A Brush with Eww

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Years ago, I worked for a company doing repairs.  One day, a hugely wealthy client called for a repair job at his mansion.  (The residence was referred to as The Compound)  I refused to go unless I had an escort.  The company did not want to pay two employees to make one service call, so the work ended up being done at the business, not the mansion.  Over the years I would occasionally think about that incident and wonder what I may have missed by not going into such an expensive home.

Last week, I watched  a “Who Killed Jeffery Epstein” special to catch up on what had been going on since I hadn’t been keeping up with current events.  I  hadn’t realized that one of Epstein’s good buddies was Les Wexner – the owner of the mansion where my repair job was supposed to be done.  What was even creepier was that according to the program, this would have been right during the time period where Wexner’s residences were used by Epstein to lure and abuse young women.

Part of the job I did for the Wexner estate was making throw pillows for couches.  Now I wonder what atrocities those poor pillows may have witnessed….or participated in. Ick.
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Ew, just thinking about that makes me yark.
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If you would like to meet some throw pillows that have not been used in a scandalous fashion, please check out my store  at L Bowman Studios. These Royal Velvet Pillows can be used as accents on furniture or for grandchildrens’ fantasy play or even as a touch of whimsy in your own home.

Eenie Meenie

…greenie beany!

Yes, most of the beans ended up in the puppy.  I eventually had to hide them on top of the fridge while I washed my hands.  Toby can turn into a mountain goat when he wants something.

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To capture sweet memories of your beloved furbeast, considering having a portrait done!

Oil painting of Westie puppy.

Visit my website at L Bowman Studios to learn more about ordering and pricing.

Catch Up On My Reading

Still remembering The Fall

While I am injured, maybe I can catch up on my reading.

Mom, he keeps stealing my toys! This little twerp is hogging all the sunshine!

Come here so I can beat you up! Yeah, well I'm gonna go pee on your bed!

I'm hungry! When's dinner? I gotta go potty! Then again, maybe I won't.....

Go away. I'm sleeping.

How dare you portray me as anything but the angel I am!

Chewed up cover of the book Wild Land.

(Quit showing stuff like that!)

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If you would like a book for your puppy to interrupt, order a copy of Dream Our World!

Cover of the book Dream Our World

Inside, Toby and Geordie visit the museum of their dreams while they enjoy a day of unsupervised fun.

Actually, I have thought of this often lately.  Several copies of Dream Our World were being sold at a local museum when the world came to an end.  Bitey and Toby really have been locked – unsupervised – in a museum for months.  It makes me wonder what kind of adventures they have been having without my knowledge.  Hmm, maybe someone should write a book…

Dream Our World is available from Amazon.

Last Spring – The Fall

Little oak tree, you can't live here. Let me take you to the woods and transplant you,

Holy crap! My right boot lace got caught on my left boot hook. My feet are tied together!

The Fall 3

Splat!

I didn't know humans could fly. Is it legal to say those words in this state?

Ew, this is so disgusting! I am soaked clear through to my underwear.

Ow! I''m not going to be able to walk for weeks! You know what this means, don't you? No supervision!

I'll go get us something from the fridge. I'll go get the toilet brush!

It has been a year now since The Fall.  At the time I expected to be better in a few weeks, but it was months before I could even take the dogs for a hobble.  My left knee never did recover, and still can’t fully bend it.

Toby takes advantage of my not being able to properly kick his butt.  This morning – at that magical Dogging Hour of 3:00 a.m. – he decided to destroy a few things around the house.

Toby grabs and chews a package

Heh, Mom’s not looking.  I’m going to steal her package.

Nah, I'm not interested

Oops.  Caught.  I’ll pretend that I am not interested.

Toby glances up at the package he was chewing

I just can’t help myself…

Ooh, I can't help myself. I really want it!

I really AM interested!

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Would you like even more adventures with my terrible twosome?  Then order a copy of Dream Our World!

Cover of the book Dream Our World

Inside, my boys visit the Museum of the Imagination and view the world of art  from a canine perspective.

Dream Our World is available from Amazon.

Come On Guys, Let’s Go!

Come on, guys! Let's go!

 

Ugh, why do we have to suffer whenever she overindulges?

Come on Toby.  Let’s be fair.  The real reason you are being taken on three walks a day is because you chewed up my book, ate a note pad, tipped over the trash can, climbed up on the bed and stole a hankie, ran through the house with my underwear…do I need to go on?

Bored terrier lies next to his tennis ball.

No, I know.

After my scale-crunching last post, I have been cutting back on portions and walking more (all the things panicked chubby humans do).  Today I checked, and I found that I had lost -4 pounds.

I guess with everything else in the world being upside down, I shouldn’t be surprised that the laws of physics are too.

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Escape your claustrophobic world with a fanciful adventure to visit the Museum of the Imagination in Dream Our World.  Inside, Bitey and Toby enjoy a day of unsupervised fun while viewing  art from a canine perspective.

Cover of the book Dream Our World

Dream Our World is available from Amazon.

 

 

 

Toby’s Book Club

What are you doing? I am reading a Mitch Rapp book so that I can be a super spy, too!

That's not how it works. You have to EAT the book to absorb its power. Really? Well, OK.

You want some Parmesan with that? No, I'm good.

Family sent me a book recently.  Toby got a hold it before I did.  He declared the book…

Chewed up cover of the book Wild Land.

Chewed cover of the book Wild Land.

Comestible!

Cairn terrier puppy hold his food bowl.What did I say in the last post, Ma?

More food in the dish; fewer books in the tummy.

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If you would like your very own Bitey Dog to “eat” thing around the house, get The Bitey Dog Lunch Bag!

Just like real Bitey Dog, this bag is always hungry.  You can fill him with your lunch (which you know you are going to do anyway.  I mean, look at those eyes!) and take him to work/school.

Bitey Dog Lunch Bag

Bitey Dog Lunch Bag enjoys some of the same activities as real Bitey Dog.  He likes peeking between flowers.

Bitey Dog Lunch Bag sits looking out of window.

 He likes watching out the window.

Bitey Dog Lunch Bag lying open.

He’ll lie on his back, begging for food…

Bitey dog Lunch Bag butt.

 ..and he’ll turn his tail to you if you aren’t quick enough.

Add Bitey Dog Lunch Bag to your family today!

Bitey Dog Lunch Bag is an original design and is handmade.  He is completely washable, but do not iron.  Between his fuzzy pin wale corduroy exterior and his cotton lining is a layer of Insul-fleece to keep you warm foods warm and your cool ones cool.  To adopt Bitey Bag, contact me here or through my website:  L Bowman Studios .

Bitey Dog Lunch Bag is $45 + shipping.

 

 

How Did This Happen?

Oh dear, how did this happen?

Nom, nom, nom. Woman wolfs down large plate of food.

Oh yeah. Total mystery, that one.

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Cairn terrier puppy hold his food bowl.

I’m tellin’ you Ma, if you would give more to me,

you wouldn’t weigh as much.

Sadly, I have been having trouble buttoning my clothes lately.  If I were to want new clothes, though, they are considered “unessential”, so I can’t go to the store to try on and buy new.  That leaves me with few options…

.And just like that, Edith didn't have to worry about social distancing.(Not my image.)  (Tastefullyedited for my audience.)

 

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To keep IRL Toby in biscuits and kibble, consider purchasing many copies of Dream Our World the next time you need a gift for home-bound family of friends!

Cover of the book Dream Our World

Come with Bitey and Toby as they tour the Museum of the Imagination.  There they view the world of art from a canine perspective and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun.  (Of course it is unsupervised.  All the humans are forbidden to be out!)

Dream Our World is available from Amazon.

 

With Malice Aforethought

OK, I think I got it rihgt this year. It's a Friday in Lent, and I'm making fish.

Little dog asks: Don't those baked beans have meat in them?

Crap. Where are you going? To getmy hand basket.

…only this year, I did it on purpose!  I had a chicken sandwich for lunch on a Friday.  Mwahaha.

At least I know what kind of clothes to pack for my trip.

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Puppies don’t need to worry about such nonsense.  To find out why, click  Puppies in my Ford.

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If you haven’t had  chance yet, you can still pick up a copy of Dream Our World.  Inside, Bitey and Toby tour the Museum of the Imagination and view the world of art from a canine perspective.  I had a fun time recreating famous works of art looking through my boys’ eyes.  The museum itself is made of different features from  our neighborhood.

Cover of the book Dream Our WorldThis  a really cute book and would make a great introduction to art for any little ones in your life.  (And it might keep the kids busy if they are home from school due to the virus.)

Dream Our World is available from Amazon.

 

 

Toy of the Gods

For our friends who are unfamiliar with the joys of toilet paper:

Roll of toilet paper

Mommy forgot to shut

The bathroom door

Where the roll of TP

Hangs so close to the floor.

 

Sketch of dog wrapped in toilet paper.When from over my shoulder

Comes a loud, angry roar,

“Don’t touch that, you beast!

I don’t have any more!”

Sketch of woman running

So I snatch up the end

And away I do soar..

So pleased with my game,

I am thrilled to the core!

 

TP Mummy - Copy (2)

Leaping and bounding

And twisting with glee

I watch as my human

Can’t catch up with me.

I roll till I’m wrapped

like an ancient mummy.

It’s a gift from the gods

This roll of TP!

TP No

 

TP Mummy - Copy

 

 

 

 

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Join the pups in more insanity in Dream Our World!  In it, Bitey and Toby visit the museum of their dreams.  Come with them as they  in view the world of art from a canine perspective all while enjoying a day of unsupervised fun.

Cover of the book Dream Our World

Dream Our World is available from Amazon.

Everyone’s a Critic

 

Suspicious shredder with ears and a tail handle.

Little Cairn Terrier chews a piece of paper.

Dog-chewed sketch paper

sketch of cartoon puppies

People laugh at me for leaving things in my trash can because I know Toby is going to climb in and make a mess.  The problem is that if I don’t leave anything in there, he will go after something I care about.  Last night he decided that my trash can wasn’t interesting enough and chewed up a sketch book.

Toby innocently stands there, wondering what mommy is looking at.

OK, so maybe I chewed up some papers , but I definitely wouldn’t put a baby sister in a box.

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To enjoy more of my boys’ naughty antics, pick up a copy of PoopiterPoopiter follows my illustrated boys during their first year together.

Cover of the book Poopiter

Poopiter is available from Amazon.