Fever Dreams

I come upon a river of sandpaper and razor blades.

This water is no fun to drink.

Maybe if I lie on my other side, it will get better.

Hayricks with yellow circles.

(Not my picture.)

Take note of the hayricks!

The what?  Haystacks?

Hayricks!  Remember the Hayrick Protocol!

Gather the yellow circles.  See how they give you strength?   Grab them.  Stab them with the fork.

Yes, I guess I do feel better.

Green and red sneeze

Splat! Morning arrives with red and green, but no Christmas.  Soon, an entire laundry load of handkerchiefs.   This shouldn’t happen to a woman.  It is something teenage boys would enjoy – waving their gelatinous banners in arms held high while chasing little sisters around the house to hear them scream.

I raise my arm and stare at it.  Crepey,..crepey…  When did this happen?  I can’t remember, but I keep staring.

Relax.  You don’t have to worry.  The cigarettes are legal now.

But cigarettes already were legal.

Relax!  Don’t you feel better now that they are legal?  The trunk of your car is filled with them.   You can rest.

Two nights slip by so softly and silently I am not aware of their coming or going.  It is bliss.

Cairn terrier sleeping in laundry

(Why does she get to cough, but I get yelled at for barking?)

Toby has stopped hiding my slippers and stealing my sandwiches.  Now he keeps vigil at the door, waiting to save me from the fever.

I didn’t get the present I wanted.  For my birthday,  I wanted a masseur to travel in time to this moment to fix my leg cramps.  I still hurt; I must not have gotten my wish.

Oh, and don’t forget the local dentist who spent $82,000 on two commercials only to generate a mere $2,400 in business.

Is that true?

Is any of this?

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Once again, this post is based on actual events.

I’ve been ill for nearly three weeks, and I am sick and tired (ha ha)  of this stupid virus.  For the first two weeks, Toby was an ornery little devil who caused a lot of mischief because it was fun.  By week three when the fevers started, he sensed something was different.  Now he sticks close to me and gets concerned if a coughing fit is too strong.  It is really nice to have someone who cares.  Geordie just used to yell at me when I got sick.  Ha!  Such a different fellow!

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To visit a dream world that is a lot more fun than the ones where I have been recently, pick up a copy of Dream Our World.  Inside, Bitey and Toby visit the Museum of the Imagination.  There they envision themselves into the famous works of art and make commentary on each piece without saying a word.

Cover of the book Dream Our World

This book is difficult to do justice in its description  It really is a sweet and charming book with plenty of humor.  Readers from grade school age through folks in their 90s have all enjoyed visiting with the boys.

Dream Our World is available from Amazon.

 

 

 

Spinning…Spinning…

Sadly another “Based on actual events” post….

Diana Prince does a transformation spin to become Wonder Woman.Diana Prince does a quick transformation spin to become Wonder Woman.

Spin!  Spin!  Spin!Oh my gosh Toby, what were you doing, standing on a turntable? Pretending to be a tonado?!?

Whee! I'm Wonder Woman!

I have never seen anything like this in al the years I have been taking care of pups.   Normally the process is to spin, then poo.  Not Toby.  He decided to combine the two into a new art form.  A really messy, far-flung art form.  Thanks, Toby.  All that poo-hunting out in the snow was great for my cold.

 

 

Cairn terrier stands over slain toy

What can I say?  I used to be fartsy, now I am artsy!

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To learn even more ways that my boys are weird, pick up a copy of PoopiterPoopiter takes you through the boys’ first year together.

Cover of the book Poopiter

Poopiter is available from Amazon.

For a different kind of fun, come along with the boys to the Museum of the Imagination in Dream Our World!  Inside, the pups view the world of art from  a canine perspective all while enjoying a day of unsupervised fun.

Cover of the book Dream Our World

Dream Our World is available from Amazon.

 

 

 

 

Toby’s Gotcha Day

Happy Gotcha Day, Toby!

Toby: Gotcha Day? Geordie" Yes, the day you were adopted. Toby: I'm adopted? But I always thought i looked like Mom!

Poor Toby got cheated in the special day department.  His birthday falls near Christmas, and his Gotcha Day is on Valentine’s Day.   He ends up sharing his celebrations with other events instead of having a time all to himself.

Bored terrier lies next to his tennis ball.

  Sympathy gifts might help me feel better.  I like tennis balls, stuffies and treats. (I wouldn’t say no to a pot roast, either.)

Two Cairn terriers on a cold day

This is a picture of Toby arriving home for the first time.  You can see in Geordie’s body language, he is saying, “Please, Grandma, get me out of this!”

Cairn terrier adult and Cairn terrier puppy meeting on the first day.

Seriously.  What is that thing?  A hamster?!?

Cairn terrier puppy sleeping in kennel.

Can you find the teeny tiny puppy hidden in this picture?

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To learn more about Toby arrival on the scene plus their first year’s-worth of mischief, pick up a copy of Poopiter.

Cover of the book Poopiter

Poopiter is available from Amazon.

 

 

Toby’s Valentine’s Day Surprise

A Valentine's Day heart shaped box of colcolate rests next to a bottle of wine and a single red rose.

 

Toby, do you have something you want to tell me? No.

Toby sends a Happy Valentine’s Day wish to all those star-crossed lovers out there.  Don’t let what others say discourage you.  Follow your heart (no matter what the consequences)!

When push comes to shove,

you’ve gotta do what you love

even if it’s not a good idea! 

…to borrow a line from Futurama.

(A refresher on Toby’s ill-fated romance.)

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To learn more about Toby’s first love, pick up a copy of Poopiter.

Cover of the book Poopiter

Poopiter follows Bitey and Toby during their first year together.

Poopiter is available from Amazon.

 

 

My Dogs Are Barking

 

Ugh. My dogs are barking!

Huh?

No we're not.

In this picture is the only time today that Toby was NOT barking up a storm. Spring-like weather brought out all the pups for walks in the sunshine.  For Toby, it was too much, and he barked at full volume until he finally fell into a stupor.  Thank heavens for stupors.

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Well, last week Bitey and Toby made contact with yet another museum.  Yay.  I  haven’t been to this museum in a while, but it is beautiful.  It would be an honor to have Dream Our World stocked there.

Cover of the book Dream Our World

If you haven’t ordered a copy yet, Dream Our World is available at Amazon.  Inside, Bitey and Toby go an adventure at the Museum of the Imagination.  There they view the world of art from a canine perspective and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun.

 

 

Hockey

Puppy dressed as ferocious hockey player.

Wow, you're pretty good at blocking thos tennis balls. When I grow up, I want to bMario Lemieux!

Bu Mario Lemieux isn't a goalie. Then I wanna be Wayne Gretzky!

Gretzky isn't a goalie either. Geez, where have you been learning about hockey? Mommy!!

I have never had a pup that I could teach to play Fetch.  I have tried over and over using instructions in dog-training guides to no avail.  The closest I have come is Toby who likes to catch the balls and line them up in front of himself.

It’s a good thing Mommy enjoys all that lower back pain from picking up hundreds of tennis balls a day.  Oh wait, no I don’t.  Then I guess it is a good thing I love my puppy.

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Today I am on Day 25 of my eye exercises.  I feel like the lady in the Peleton commercial who posts her exercise routine in order to hold herself accountable.  So far, I am still liking what I am doing!  This past week I have been able to see a few things that I haven’t in a very long time.  I was able to read house numbers from more than a yard (house-yard, not 3 feet) away.  I could also read a street sign from at least 20′ away.  I am not able to hold focus for long, but even that is building.  A friend asked if I would like to go to my eye doctor some day and show off that I don’t need glasses anymore.  Not really.  What I would like to do is go to the DMV and have the restriction removed from my license.  Ha!  Take that, state government.

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This week I also mailed off a copy of Dream Our World to another museum, hoping that they may be interested in selling it in their gift shop.  Toby has promised to keep his paws crossed that the manager likes  his work.

Cover of the book Dream Our World

Toby innocently stands there, wondering what mommy is looking at.

How could they  not like it?  I’m adorable.

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By the way, is anyone else having trouble with WordPress?  I am having problems with the photo uploader and viewing previews of my posts.  Even viewing others’ posts is hit or miss.  It takes all the fun out of coming here to post.

That Time of Year

Woman cleans while her pups look on.

Mommy’s on a cleaning binge

It’s quite a sight to see.

I fear that with those other things

She’ll also throw out me!

Mommy's on a cleaning binge. It's quite a sight to see. I fear that with those other things she'll also throw out me!

Every year I tell  myself that I am going to do a good job of keeping up with paperwork and putting things away.  I vow that I will not hoard useless knickknacks or keep every book I meet.  January after January somehow finds me buried in paperwork –  downing in sentiment.

Toby hates when I get into these cleaning moods because it means less time playing with him.  Today he would much rather me be kicking snow for him to catch than doing boring filing and running the dreaded vacuum.  I tell him that he should be happy that there will be more room for us to chase tennis balls if he lets me finish my clean up, but I can tell he doesn’t believe me.

Bored terrier lies next to his tennis ball.

I guess I should just be happy that we’re less likely to be

featured on an episode of Hoarders.

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Cover of the book Dream Our World

Come with the boys to a place where there are no nasty vacuums – to The Museum of the Imagination!  In Dream Our World Bitey and Toby visit the museum of their dreams and look at artwork from a canine perspective.

Dream Our World is available from Amazon.

(Tomorrow we contact another museum.  Wish us luck!)