Shhh!

Toby and I were out for a walk the other day. As neared his nemesis’s house, (star of such posts as The Great Roundup, and The Day After ), I noticed he was completely silent. Not even his tags jingled as he tiptoed down the street. Realizing he was trying to sneak past the little dog’s house so she wouldn’t come after him, I did my best to imitate his soundless gait. It is hard to walk on stones in boots and not make noise, though. Every time my shoe crunched on a piece of gravel, I got serious stink eye from my boy. He doesn’t know how hard it was for me not to laugh every time he glared at me. Any neighbors looking out their windows must have thought us both crazy as we crept in silent slow motion past their homes.

Thanks to you, you big-footed elephant, I almost got bit!

Some time in the not-too-distant future a can of Halt! will be delivered. Paws crossed it will work to discourage other dogs from coming after Toby. Better still, hopefully we never have to use it.

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After my experience with my GP’s office, I decided to contact the neurologist directly to see if I could schedule an appointment. When I call, I am only able to reach an answering machine. So far I have called every day and left a total of 10 messages, but no one has called back. I guess in the new world, squeaky wheels are ignored and not greased.

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Come see what my stinky boys have been up to at the Museum of the Imagination in Dream Our World! Inside they view the world of art from a canine perspective and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun.

Dream Our World is available from my shop at L Bowman Studios.

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Nude Reclining on Sofa – Oil on Canvas

Toby insisted that I paint this picture for him. (He is fascinated with pretty girls.)

I would be even more interested if the painting smelled like something other than linseed oil.

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Care to see what other artwork the boys enjoy? Then come with them to the Museum of the Imagination and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun! Dream Our World and other fine gifts are available from my shop at L Bowman Studios.

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Toby’s Grumpy Christmas

What's the matter? I am so angry! I didn't get what I asked for this Christmas.

Wht did you ask for? Bitches and Ho Hos. Did you mean "ho's"?

Then what are you doing with mom's stocking? I'm off to make her some homemade "coal".

But why? Well it's obvious Santa doesn't care about puppies, but maybe he'll listen if a human tells him something.

Toby is usually gentle with his toys. Geordie was the one who dealt with stress by destroying stuffed animals. At Christmas, Toby was so agitated by lack of exercise and being unable to poo that he destroyed his gifts as soon as he got them. (Then he went back to the tree looking for more.)

He was really upset when I had to finally take the tree down. I think he was hoping more gifts might appear.

(Sorry. Dopey mommy got tendonitis and is behind in her storytelling as a result.)

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Come see what my boys have been up to at the Museum of the Imagination as they view the world of art from a canine perspective and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun!

Dream Our World is available from my shop at L Bowman Studios.

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The Wish List

My boys are different enough that Toby would see playmates; Geordie would see prey.

Max is just a sweetheart.

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This heirloom quality handmade patchwork Hebrew Alphabet Picture Quilt is not just for babies. It would make a beautiful gift for any member of the family. For the little ones, the colorful illustrated blocks would introduce them to the alphabet of their ancestors. For adults, it could be a wall hanging used as a conversation piece in the house. For seniors, it could provide a connection to home that they may be missing if they if they are in a residential care facility. For a family member who has had a stroke, the alphabet and pictures could provide good exercise for their recovering brains.

Hebrew Alphabet Picture Quilt and other fine gifts can be found in my shop at L Bowman Studios.

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Toby Miranda

What's up with the hat, Carmen Miranda? It's not a hat. I just keep sticking my head in my bowl before the food falls in.

No matter how much training we do, Toby frequently ends up wearing his dinner. I imagine his groomer is mystified at the myriad of things stuck to his head.

Dog photobombs picture with dish and toy in background

Personally, I don’t see the problem.

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Thankies, the Thank You Handkerchiefs, are a perfect way to tell someone just how much you appreciate them in a way that is longer lasting than a paper card.  Or, you can use them to clean your puppy's head after his dinner!

Thank You Handkerchiefs and other fine gifts are available from my shop at L Bowman Studios.

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Toby Comments on Thanksgiving Dinner

The strings in these string beans are so tough they're more like guy wires.

You know "guy wire" yet you still sometimes forget and poop in the house?

I do NOT poop in the house. Don’t listen to her.

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While waiting for an appointment with a neurologist, I may have accidentally stumbled onto what’s been wrong with my arms and hands. Mind you I have described these symptoms to half a dozen doctors yet no one brought this up as a possibility.

In the mornings, I wake up with what I refer to as “Barbie arms”. They are paralyzed – frozen in one position. I can’t move my hands or bend my arms. It makes things difficult because I need to use eye drops as soon as I wake, but I can’t pick them up. Also, trying to use the bathroom is quite challenging. Sometimes my arms and hands hurt badly, sometimes not as much. My arms are weak so that I can’t hold them up unless I concentrate it. Last year I had to buy an electric jar opener (not can opener) because I could not grip a lid.

Each doctor I’ve talked to has thought this to be MS, but of all my symptoms, I thought this one was a bad match because the pain and paralysis depended on what I was doing.

Finally my pain started localizing on my upper arms. Out of curiosity I looked up that part of the arm and learned that the ulnar nerve is located there. Compression of this nerve can cause cubital tunnel syndrome – a very common relative of carpal tunnel syndrome. So why did no doctor recognize it? I’ve told everyone to the point where I’m sure they are sick of the sound of my voice.

I found some stretching exercises online that are supposed to help with this syndrome. I know that the root of my problem is related to sleeping position, and I don’t know how to fix that, but maybe these exercises can give me some of my life back.

Yet another thing to be grateful for this Thanksgiving!

Hope all of our Bitey World friends had a nice Thanksgiving too (even if it wasn’t technically Thanksgiving in your country)!

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The holidays are coming! Don’t forget to pick up a copy of Dream Our World for all those you love. Not only will it be a gift of love and laughter, but you can say that you know the author. (Toby and I can sign the copy, if you’d like.)

Dream Our World is available from my shop at L Bowman Studios.

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Snowman Aftermath

What happened? She's too old to build a snowman. Owie owie owie owie!

Yeah, I’m too old to build a snowman.

I could have told you that.

So what are we grateful this Thanksgiving? Advil.

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The weather might might be mild this week, but it will soon be cold again. Protect yourself against chilly evenings and rising fuel costs with this colorful, handcrafted Bear Paw Quilt. Bear Paw Quilt is large enough for a full sized bed but could also be used on a twin or as a throw for the couch. The geometric designs and earthy colors make it a perfect gift for the man in your life.

Bear Paw Quilt and many other fine gifts are available from my shop at L Bowman Studios.

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Mommy Eats Worms

What happened? She was turned down for two jobs this week.

She says nobody loves her, and she's going to pretend that plate of spaghetti is worms. Should she really be eating if she's not working?

I earn my keep. You need to earn yours.

It’s funny that even with a worker shortage, I can still find plenty of places willing to say “no” to me.

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Christmas is right around the corner! Make shopping for the men in you life easier by picking up hand knit merino wool sweaters for everyone on your list.

Sandstone Handknit Tweed Cardigan for Men

Handmade olive green tweed cardigan for men.

These sweaters and other fine gifts are available from my shop at L Bowman Studios.

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The Snowman

Look, it's snowing! I think I'll build the boys a snowman while they're sleeping.

Yay, a pee man! If I give him my hat, can I bring him to life?

Yesterday was the first snow of the season. I took Toby outside to play, and we decided to build a snowman. As I rolled the snow across the ground, I picked up pee spot after pee spot after pee spot. When I was done, I had more pee than snow. Toby was thrilled and even kicked the dirty snow into my face. (Thanks, Toby.) It was one of the grossest experiences I’ve had.

After some of the pee melted off, we decided that the snowman looked like a despondent cat.

You didn’t like my pee snow? I don’t believe it.

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Looking for a gift this holiday season? Consider giving the gift of warmth with this hand quilted Bear Paw Quilt! Heating costs are projected to be 28% higher this winter, so a nice, cozy quilt could help keep utility bills down. Plus, what is more fun than snuggling up together with someone you love on a cold, blustery evening?

This Bear Paw Quilt and other fine gifts are available from my shop at L Bowman Studios.

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Toby Makes Dinner

You're making dinner tonight? Sure am! What are we having?

Poo Helper. And mommy is OK with that? She said she's tire of cooking and whatever I make will be great.

Earth Chocolate

Cairn terrier puppy stuffs himself with all sorts of chocolate.

Toby! You're not eating dirt again, are you? Nooo....?

I went to the store the other day to find that the cost of a loaf of my bread has risen to $9.19. Needless to say, on top of everything else I have to prepare from scratch, I’m now baking my own bread as well.

Before you wax nostalgic about the tactile joys of kneading dough, I eat a rice-based diet. The less you handle it, the better. Baking bread with a non-glutinous grain is more of a series of science experiment than something you remember doing by your loving grandmother’s side.

If I could get Toby to do even part of the cooking, it would make life so much easier. Sadly, he just eats the ingredients.

Cook whatever you want, I’m taking a nap.

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If you’d like to see what else my boys have been up to, pick up a copy of Dream Our World. Inside the boys visit the museum of their dreams and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun.

Dream Our World would make a great holiday present for someone you love without breaking your budget. Order a copy for everyone on your list!

Dream Our World and other fine gifts are available from my shop at L Bowman Studios.

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The Adventures of Bitey Dog

cartoon

Shhh!

Nude Reclining on Sofa – Oil on Canvas

Toby’s Grumpy Christmas

The Wish List

Toby Miranda

Toby Comments on Thanksgiving Dinner

Snowman Aftermath

Mommy Eats Worms

The Snowman

Toby Makes Dinner