Come On Guys, Let’s Go!

Come on, guys! Let's go!

Ugh, why do we have to suffer whenever she overindulges?

Come on Toby. Let’s be fair. The real reason you are being taken on three walks a day is because you chewed up my book, ate a note pad, tipped over the trash can, climbed up on the bed and stole a hankie, ran through the house with my underwear…do I need to go on?

Bored terrier lies next to his tennis ball.

No, I know.

After my scale-crunching last post, I have been cutting back on portions and walking more (all the things panicked chubby humans do). Today I checked, and I found that I had lost -4 pounds.

I guess with everything else in the world being upside down, I shouldn’t be surprised that the laws of physics are too.

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Escape your claustrophobic world with a fanciful adventure to visit the Museum of the Imagination in Dream Our World. Inside, Bitey and Toby enjoy a day of unsupervised fun while viewing art from a canine perspective.

Dream Our World is available from Amazon.

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Everyone’s a Critic

Suspicious shredder with ears and a tail handle.

Little Cairn Terrier chews a piece of paper.

Dog-chewed sketch paper

sketch of cartoon puppies

People laugh at me for leaving things in my trash can because I know Toby is going to climb in and make a mess. The problem is that if I don’t leave anything in there, he will go after something I care about. Last night he decided that my trash can wasn’t interesting enough and chewed up a sketch book.

Toby innocently stands there, wondering what mommy is looking at.

OK, so maybe I chewed up some papers , but I definitely wouldn’t put a baby sister in a box.

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To enjoy more of my boys’ naughty antics, pick up a copy of Poopiter. Poopiter follows my illustrated boys during their first year together.

Poopiter is available from Amazon.

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Toby Gets Something for Christmas

So, who is this Santa fellow again, and what is it I am supposed to be doing for him?

Um, I might not be too worried about that if I were you.

Toby has been as wound up and boisterous as any child these past few weeks…so much so that I wasn’t sure tht Santa would bring him anything. Then Toby pulled his act together and was a perfect little angel puppy last night. If Santa works like Christianity, then a last minute repentance is still enough to ensure a reward.

Don’t pee on the tree, and you might just get some tennis balls!

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We are all waiting with great anticipation not so much for a visit from Santa but a posting of a certain Malt’s Christmas prank.

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If Santa happened to bring you an Amazon gift card for the holidays, you can use it to get your very own copy of Dream Our World! Inside, Bitey and Toby visit the museum of their dreams and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun.

Dream Our World is available from Amazon….and soon a museum!

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Blue Puppy Gets Caught

Blue Puppy gets his paw caught as he tries to escape anyone noticing he raided the trash can.

Oh dear, what’s this?

Blue Puppy gets his paw caught as he flees from raiding the trash can.

It looks like Blue Puppy got caught as he tried to run away after raiding the trash can.

Toby innocently stands there, wondering what mommy is looking at.

What are we going to do with him, Ma?

Toby innocently looks on, silently passing judgement on Blue Puppy's antics.

I don’t know where he gets this.

Toby is getting smart. He is making sure that Blue Puppy takes the blame for everything now that Santa is watching.

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Looking for a unique Christmas gift? Consider giving Dream Our World! Inside are my interpretations of various works of art and how they may be viewed from a canine perspective.

Dream Our World follows Bitey and Toby as they visit the museum of their dreams and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun!

Dream Our World is available from Amazon.

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The Absconder

Whee! Aagh!

Today it was Toby’s turn to escape and run free through the clover. I guess he saw what the little neighbor dog did and thought it seemed like fun.

True to his terrier nature, Toby absolutely refused to acknowledge me when I called him. He had a grand time running all over the yard, peeing on plants and hunting chipmunks.

I finally caught the little stinker by opening the garden gate. Toby can’t pass up a chance to eat dirt in the garden, so he streaked past me to get to his prize. I was thinking of making him wear a harness with a leash around the house like I did when he was little. Instead, though, I may mix iron filings with his kibble and keep a giant horse shoe magnet by the door. I find the idea more attractive.

Horse Shoe Magnet

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Come visit my two attractive puppies at the MOTI as they visit the museum of their dreams in Dream Our World!

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Toby…I Mean Blue Puppy…Strikes Again

Last week I had two jobs come in. My boys absolutely hate when I have to work and my attention is taken away from them. Toby, I mean Blue Puppy, had a bit of a meltdown over this.

Tipped over trash can.

Naughty Cairn terrier tears up trash while his toy Blue Puppy watches the carnage.

Blue Puppy lies amid the trash can carnage.

As you can see, Blue Puppy tipped over the trash can and ripped up all the papers while Toby innocently looked on. At least this was slightly better than when Toby got into the laundry and paraded around the house with dirty undies.

Toy kitty with stuffing ripped out of its head.

Humpty Kitty also fell victim to the carnage. All of that stuffing used to be her brains. I guess now she is Zombie Humpty Kitty.

Humpity! Humpity! Humpity!

How did Humpty Kitty get her name? I dunno. Maybe we should ask Englebert Humpamint.

Given how miserable today was, I am going to hurry and sign off so I can get some work done while the boys are sleeping. It’s funny, they are my muses, yet they keep me from getting absolutely anything done.

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What might Virtual Toby and Geordie do as they nap in front of the TV?

They go to the museum, of course!

To read more of their adventures, pick up a copy of Dream Our World.

They are available at Amazon.

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The Azalea According to Toby

Very sad looking little azalea plant.

Despite my best efforts to keep him away from it, Toby picked this little azalea as his favorite peeing spot over the Winter. I can only imagine what his daily waterings did to the plant. As you can see it doesn’t look quite like the other Spring flowers. I am not positive, but I think it heard it murmuring something that sounded like “electric fence“.

Peek-a-boo!

I don’t know what you are complaining about. It looks fine to me.

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There is still time to order Poopiter before reading Bitey and Toby’s next book. It will introduce the characters and help to better explain the picture “Peppermint Girl”.

I will be posting a link to the new book later this week!

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A Trail of Evidence

This is what I found after a suspiciously quiet moment.

Two gloves lying on the floor

Blue puppy is to blame for the gloves on the floor.

It wasn’t me, Mom. You can clearly see it was Blue Puppy.

Toby loves Blue Puppy, but I am finding that he is the scapegoat for a lot of things that go wrong around here. Things where Toby is somehow nearby….

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Don’t forget to pick up a copy of Poopiter.

Poopiter is available at Amazon. (Some people donate their copies to their local children’s libraries or the children’s ward at the hospital. Kids love reading about naughty puppies.)

You’ll want to be caught up on the boys’ adventures before they start their next one which is coming up soon. I have been working on this next book for a very long time, and it looks like I am in the final stretch. Yeah, I’m happy!

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Watch Out, Peppermint!

Toby and new stuffed girlfriend looking off into the distance. Isn’t this cute? The two of them are even starting to look like each other!

Watch out, Peppermint. Someone new is after your man.

This is Toby’s new “girlfriend”. You may recall from Poopiter that my boy has a particular fondness for his toy peppermint. Now, though, there is a new lady in his life. This little gal doesn’t have a name yet, but I think she needs one. Any suggestions?

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A Happy Barkday

A smiling, happy Cairn terrier wearing a party hat.

Friday was my little man’s barkday, and what a happy pup he was!

My mom had the idea to take the boys to the store to pick out presents for them to celebrate Geordie’s birthday. The trip would be part of the present.

Geordie tells his story:

While we were good in the car, that all went out the window when we got to the store. TSC is an agricultural business that sells supplies for all sorts of animals from bunnies to dogs to horses and cows. At this time of year they also sell chicks and ducklings to farmers. We could smell all of that as soon as we got to the parking lot. Woo hoo did we pull! Mom made us pee before we went in, and Toby did a poo. Then we FLEW into the store dragging our humans behind us. First thing we did was meet a puppy black lab girl. Then we found the huge pallet of 100 lb bags of dog food. Then…then….I pooped all over the floor. Well, I was just so excited! We continued to do our best impressions of sled dogs as we tried to break all of the glass lawn decorations foolishly placed out where we could get to them. (We failed). When we got to the checkout, the cashier gave us biscuits, so I guess we weren’t too naughty.

Mommy says: I am hoping that the ears the boys got as their presents keep them quiet so I can maybe get some work done and grab something to eat. That will be MY part of the gift this year!

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To read more of Bitey and Toby’s adventures, pick up a copy of Poopiter.

Bitey Dog and Toby in POOPITER

Available at Amazon.

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