The Tub

I am so down. Without being able to walk, I can't sleep; my appetite is off; I can't even draw.

Why don't you take a nice relaxing bath? That will make you feel better.

My legs won't bend enough so I can't even do that! I need one of those old lady tubs with the door in the side.

Whaaaaa!!!! So, do you think she will start hawking Vitameatavegamin next or stuffing her blouse with chocolates? I am hoping for the chocolates, myself.

Yeah, I did opt for the chocolates.

Thanks to my recent injury, this is the first time I have ever given serious thought to a walk in tub. I don’t really want one, but it has been very embarrassing trying to climb in and out of the regular one.

As the song says:

Bad stuff happens in the bathroom

I’m just glad that it happens in a vacuum*

Thank heavens for vacuums or someone might – for instance – draw this unfortunate event and put it on the internet. That would be bad.

************************************************************************

To see what Geordie and Toby have been up to when they are not making fun of me, pick up a copy of Dream Our World. In it, the boys go to the museum of their dreams.

Dream Our World is available at Amazon.

*Thank you to the team at Bob’s Burgers!

8 Comments Leave a comment

The Muumuu

Whoa, what's with the get up? My knees are so swollen that my pants won't fit.

Plus i am so slow getting to the bathrom that I don't have time to unfasted my pants. And somewhere the Kanaka Maoli are missing a princess...

After all of that dry, boring town meeting stuff, I needed some frivolity in my blog. Well, it wasn’t funny at the time, but maybe it is now.

For several weeks I had to head to the bathroom when I didn’t need to go because if I waited until I did, it would be too late. Aah…being injured is so much fun. No wait. No it’s not.

Three days before I fell, I had the worst headache I had had in years. It made me so sick to my stomach that I had to go to bed. My boys were very concerned for me that day. They studied my face to see what was wrong. I even noticed them stopping their fighting game to come over and take care of me. I thought this was extremely sweet.

When I fell, though, they could not have cared less. They stood in front of me when I tried to walk. They attempted to drag me around the block. They jumped on my cantaloupe-sized knees. I got no sympathy for my injuries from them at all. So, what are the parameters for dog sympathy, I wonder? It certainly isn’t falling.

******************************************************************

To find out how good my boys can be when they want to, pick up a copy of Dream Our World. Everyone who has read it says that they keep reading it over and over, each time catching new details. (Come on, give it a try!)

Dream Our World is available at Amazon.

8 Comments Leave a comment

Where’s Robert Redford?

Trying to look on the bright side after my fall, I told myself that my enforced sedentism would allow me to catch up sewing or drawing or maybe even blog posts. Instead, the lack of adequate exercise has left me unable to focus on anything and eating way too much.

Last week I was finally able to hobble out to the garden and plant some bedding plants my folks had bought. I had forgotten just how peaceful it can be in the garden, focusing on one small task at a time when – wham! – some stupid bee stung me. Twice.

I got stung by a bee while working in the garden.

As always, my boys are completely unconcerned with what happened to me. Toby in particular has been miserable to deal with because he hasn’t had enough exercise. The two of them jump on me and tip over the trash can and steal my books. Toby has discovered the bag I have ready to go to charity. No matter where I put it or how I secure it, he figures out a way to grab something and run.

Enjoy your naughtiness now, little puppy for one day I will be better. On that day, you’ll be in trouble…

4 Comments Leave a comment

The Airborne Oak

Little oak tree, you can't live here. Let me take you to the woods and transplant you,

Holy crap! My right boot lace got caught on my left boot hook. My feet are tied together!

Splat!

I didn't know humans could fly. Is it legal to say those words in this state?

Ew, this is so disgusting! I am soaked clear through to my underwear.

Ow! I'm not going to be able to walk for weeks! You know what this means, don't you? No supervision!

I'll go get us something from the fridge. I'll get the toilet brush!

Yes, this was my week. For some reason, bad things are easier to deal with in Bitey World, so I put it here.

I told my neighbor that it really says something about my place in the community that I can lie face down in a puddle of mud in the middle of the street, and people just drive by. Am I like the town drunk where this type of behavior is expected?

I was fortunate that this accident happened only a short distance from where I live. After landing on first my knees, then my face I was still able to hobble home. I was planning to plant the tiny oak in a clearing next to the sideways tree, but he didn’t withstand the trauma of flying. So sorry little one; I tried.

The puppies have been totally disgusted that we have had beautiful weather all week, and they haven’t been outside to enjoy any of it. Their frustrations finally boiled over today. Geordie poked me repeatedly with his nose while Toby beat me with his toy moon. Thanks for the sympathy guys.

*********************************************************

For a pleasant distraction, pick up a copy of Dream Our World. Inside, Bitey and Toby spend a day at the museum of their dreams.

The book has a number of inside jokes (to me, anyway). One is that the “Additional Artists” are all really me. If you note their names, they are the letters of my name rearranged. If you like my work and would like to commission your own piece of artwork, please visit my store for more examples.

13 Comments Leave a comment