Don’t Read This (Paving My Road to Hell)

Jesus rejects supplicants because they are not wearing masks.

Ew!  get away!  You’re not wearing masks!

I told you not to read this.

Church is not for me. My mom loves it, though, and I love my mom, so I sit beside her to keep her company.  In this state, the rule is that if you are outside and more than 6′ away from another person, you don’t have to wear a mask.  Due to logistical issues, churches hold services outside instead of in their buildings.  Parishioners scatter themselves across the grounds and the parking lot.

Some people have decided that even outdoors and 6’+ away from other humans, they still feel at risk.  Rather than moving even further away from their neighbors, they decided to write to the priest who initiated a campaign of mask shaming.  I guess around here we have that super virus that is self-propelled.

This past week, the sermon was about being quiet and listening to hear God.  Of course the “bad guys” in the contemporary examples were young children wearing ear buds.  Somehow the priest failed to notice that there wasn’t a single moment of silence in that service for prayer or meditation.  It was filled entirely with organ music and singing.

Young cairn terrier looking over his shoulder.

I’m a terrier.  I am never quiet!

Before everyone left, the priest told listeners that they should be grateful to the volunteers who gave their time to sanitize, sanitize, sanitize the church.*  Then we were told to go forth in confidence and conquer our fears.  From the dirty looks I got when I laughed out loud, I presumed that wasn’t intended to be funny.

Thanks to the many hours I spend each day in the kitchen, I have plenty of quiet time to try to get in touch with a Higher Power.  Instead of amazing revelations, I find such idle questions as, “What happens to the left-overs after pressing olives for olive oil?” in my head.  (If you are curious,  they are dried in the sun and them compressed into briquettes to be used as heating fuel.)

I may not know God’s plans for me, but I know a teeny bit more about olives.

Actually, we puppies are born perfect. We don't need religion to find God like humans do.

*Not sure why all the sanitizing since the people are on the outside.

Oil painting of Westie puppy.

Oil painting of Westie puppy.

If you would like a pet portrait, order now before I am sent directly to hell!  Details about sizes and pricing – as well as other examples of my work – can be found at my website L Bowman Studios.

 

 

 

12 Comments

  1. Born a witch and will die a witch, here. Also, none of this makes sense and I’m extremely happy to see that you laughed at the idiocy of it. I keep thinking, “The Emperor has no clothes!” Let’s all start laughing and shouting at the absurdities and maybe we can get back to what used to pass for normal

  2. Ha! When you laughed out loud…I would have been laughing with you! (That has often happened to me in public settings…where I laugh at something and no one else is laughing. I just figure they’re they have no sense of humor. 😉 😀 )

    That is so nice of you to go with your Mom. 🙂

    In the past, I’ve noticed a lack of quiet, meditation, and praying in churches. I found it odd. I would’ve thought there would have been a huge emphasis on those things.

    HUGS!!! 🙂

    Hey, Toby!
    Cooper is half terrier, but he is really quiet most of the time. Maybe it’s the Shih Tzu part of him that is prone to quietness. 😀
    PATS and RUBS!!! 🙂

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