Don’t Read This (Paving My Road to Hell)

Jesus rejects supplicants because they are not wearing masks.

Ew!  get away!  You’re not wearing masks!

I told you not to read this.

Church is not for me. My mom loves it, though, and I love my mom, so I sit beside her to keep her company.  In this state, the rule is that if you are outside and more than 6′ away from another person, you don’t have to wear a mask.  Due to logistical issues, churches hold services outside instead of in their buildings.  Parishioners scatter themselves across the grounds and the parking lot.

Some people have decided that even outdoors and 6’+ away from other humans, they still feel at risk.  Rather than moving even further away from their neighbors, they decided to write to the priest who initiated a campaign of mask shaming.  I guess around here we have that super virus that is self-propelled.

This past week, the sermon was about being quiet and listening to hear God.  Of course the “bad guys” in the contemporary examples were young children wearing ear buds.  Somehow the priest failed to notice that there wasn’t a single moment of silence in that service for prayer or meditation.  It was filled entirely with organ music and singing.

Young cairn terrier looking over his shoulder.

I’m a terrier.  I am never quiet!

Before everyone left, the priest told listeners that they should be grateful to the volunteers who gave their time to sanitize, sanitize, sanitize the church.*  Then we were told to go forth in confidence and conquer our fears.  From the dirty looks I got when I laughed out loud, I presumed that wasn’t intended to be funny.

Thanks to the many hours I spend each day in the kitchen, I have plenty of quiet time to try to get in touch with a Higher Power.  Instead of amazing revelations, I find such idle questions as, “What happens to the left-overs after pressing olives for olive oil?” in my head.  (If you are curious,  they are dried in the sun and them compressed into briquettes to be used as heating fuel.)

I may not know God’s plans for me, but I know a teeny bit more about olives.

Actually, we puppies are born perfect. We don't need religion to find God like humans do.

*Not sure why all the sanitizing since the people are on the outside.

Oil painting of Westie puppy.

Oil painting of Westie puppy.

If you would like a pet portrait, order now before I am sent directly to hell!  Details about sizes and pricing – as well as other examples of my work – can be found at my website L Bowman Studios.

 

 

 

The Blessing of the Pets

 

Look at me! I'm getting blessed!

Look at me!  I’m meeting the Pope (as far as I know)!

Here's my butt!

Here is my good side.  Go ahead ladies, sniff away.

Several pets at the Blessing of the Pets

Who are these other dogs trying to steal my thunder?

A few weeks ago my folks took Toby to the church for the Blessing of the Pets.  So far it hasn’t worked; he’s still Toby.

Priest with baskets of donations for local shelter.

At the ceremony, they took a collection to help a local domestic abuse shelter.  It is one of the few in the country that allows victims to bring their pets with them.  My family made a large donation of food and supplies (that aren’t shown here) in Geordie’s name.  (Geordie is still with us, but he couldn’t make it to the ceremony.)

Handmade baby gifts for a collection at church.

In addition to the pet donation, I made a blanket/hat/bootie set to donate to help young moms with new families.  (I’m not sure why I keep making baby gifts.  I mean, the babies never write, and they hardly ever remember my birthday.)

Cruel trick dribble baby bottle

Perhaps this is why.  Look at this cruel “dribble” baby bottle!  Who would do such a thing?  Babies dribble enough as it is.  They don’t need to be pranked.

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Cover of the book Dream Our World

If you haven’t yet, you can still pick up copies of Dream Our World.   Dream Our World follows the boys as they visit the museum of their dreams.  They view art from a canine perspective and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun!

Dream Our World is available from Amazon.

 

Lenten Diocesan Appeal

Today I am using Bitey’s blog to vent my own frustrations.  (The views here are the author’s alone.  Bitey Dog does not necessarily agree with the opinions expressed in this rant.)

The local parish decided to start their Lenten appeal by bringing in a speaker to address three reasons why everyone should give more money.  With the first reason, I could find no fault.  They discussed building repairs and maintenance.  Every building needs maintenance.  In the past several years I have seen no extravagant building expenses: no problem there.

The second point they addressed was the neighboring county where 75% of parishes closed due to parishoners “not giving enough money”, therefore we need to give more money.  What?!?  (I need a needle-on-record screeching sound.)  I am sure you are familiar with the diocese next to ours.  It has made the news many times in the past two years for sex abuse scandals.  The reason those churches closed was that parishoners’ money was used to pay lawsuits and legal fees for church leaders doing horrible, illegal things.  Don’t put the blame for closings on members for not giving enough money.

Lastly members are supposed to pay for an expensive private school in the area.  Reportedly attendance has declined by 50% over the last 30 years, yet costs are something like 4X what they used to be per student.  I know that there is a tech element that was not present 30 years ago, but surely school administrators can find a way to adjust education costs to keep them more reasonable rather than expect others to pay the bill.  Home schooling is very, very popular in this area.  It is done on a shoe string budget, but the kids come out with superior educations.  Why not learn from their example?

Cairn terrier sitting with marigolds.

I realize that this isn’t my problem and that I shouldn’t care.  I am not a member of the parish.  Whatever they choose to do with their funds and resources is their own business.  The boys and I support the church because we like to visit the outside.

So, little church, we trust that you will be well in other’s hands.  The boys and I will still pray for you.

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