bad poem

The Yark and the Witching Hour

Electric mustard colored fungus growing in wood mulch

Luminescent pile of yark

gently glowing in the dark.

Yellow like a ‘nanner peel

Little doggie do you feel

better now the puke is gone

sitting outside on the lawn?

(Wouldn’t Mozart be proud?)

The other night, Toby managed to jump up to the counter and steal and eat a banana peel before I could stop him. At 3:00 am he kindly gave the peel back. The poem has a happier ending than real life because it happened outside unlike reality which required an early morning kennel scrubbing. Thanks Toby.

Anytime, mom!

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Dream Our World

If you would like to know more of what Toby and his brother have been up to, pick up a copy of Dream Our World. Inside Bitey (Geordie) and Toby visit the museum of their dreams and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun.

Dream Our World is available from my shop at L Bowman Studios.

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I Sit

I sit…

with my hand clutching the blue marbled slab,

cramped so badly I fear it will never unfurl,

ears straining in vain to hear the words to release

me from this prison.

I sit…

My back aches.

My bladder screams.

My eyes no longer see this world

but view strange vistas from another.

I sit…

and my once vibrant puppy dog

so full of life!

now motionless on the floor.
His anguished cries of hunger finally at an end.*

I sit…

as the sun runs away

the stars sleep

the mountains lie down

and the oceans no longer cry tears.

It’s dark, and still I sit…

waiting…

on hold…

with the IRS.

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Can you guess what I spent my day doing? Yes, sitting on hold with the IRS.

On the plus side, the agent I dealt with was very professional and courteous. He was helpful and was able to handle my question quickly. On the down side, the IRS doesn’t have a call back system. You’ve just got to wait on hold until your turn comes up (multiple hours), and they have awful, awful hold music. We once had a discussion here about ”insipid”. That would be a good word to describe their eternally-looping music.

My advice before calling the IRS:

  • Make sure your phone is fully charged.
  • Have a light snack.
  • Be sure to use the facilities first.
  • Walk and feed your dog! ( – Toby)

Mom, this is soooo boring. Come play ”chase” with me instead.

*In case you were worried, Toby stopped complaining because he fell asleep. He didn’t die of hunger.

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Barkers (Another Bad Poem by Bitey Dog)

Cairn terrier sitting on tile floor

We bark in the morning.

We bark in the night.

We bark to surprise folks

And cause them a fright.

A squirrel on the railing

Deserves an “Awoo!”

Till our barkers stop working

Our job is not through.

                                                                                  – Bitey Dog

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Bitey and Toby’s next book is close to being done.  Hooray!  Everyone can be glad that I haven’t posted in a while because I would likely have taken over Bitey’s blog to whine and complain about how I don’t understand formatting and how my word processor is not working.  (As you can see, I did not do that today.  Bwahahaha!)

Before the next book comes out, you may want to read Poopiter.  Poopiter tells of Geordie and Toby’s first year together and how Toby kept trying to kill himself.  (He tried again last week.  Different toad, though.)

Bitey Dog and Toby in POOPITER

 

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