I sit…
with my hand clutching the blue marbled slab,
cramped so badly I fear it will never unfurl,
ears straining in vain to hear the words to release
me from this prison.
I sit…
My back aches.
My bladder screams.
My eyes no longer see this world
but view strange vistas from another.
I sit…
and my once vibrant puppy dog
so full of life!
now motionless on the floor.
His anguished cries of hunger finally at an end.*
I sit…
as the sun runs away
the stars sleep
the mountains lie down
and the oceans no longer cry tears.
It’s dark, and still I sit…
waiting…
on hold…
with the IRS.
*********************
Can you guess what I spent my day doing? Yes, sitting on hold with the IRS.
On the plus side, the agent I dealt with was very professional and courteous. He was helpful and was able to handle my question quickly. On the down side, the IRS doesn’t have a call back system. You’ve just got to wait on hold until your turn comes up (multiple hours), and they have awful, awful hold music. We once had a discussion here about ”insipid”. That would be a good word to describe their eternally-looping music.
My advice before calling the IRS:
- Make sure your phone is fully charged.
- Have a light snack.
- Be sure to use the facilities first.
- Walk and feed your dog! ( – Toby)
Mom, this is soooo boring. Come play ”chase” with me instead.
*In case you were worried, Toby stopped complaining because he fell asleep. He didn’t die of hunger.
The Adventures of Bitey Dog 
I wonder if the music is to deter people from calling…someone, somewhere is a ‘customer deterrent music specialist’ and by the prevalence of unbearable musical dross must be pretty successful.
I was wondering about that too. It drives people to become so discouraged that they hang up and then pay money just to make the letters stop, or it might cause folks to go insane while they listen.
my niece has been trying to get through to them for months, she still hasn’t received her refund from last year. I’ll tell her to just get some snacks, pull up her latest diamond painting and put the phone on speaker and wait them out. What a mess!
Also, I was worried about Toby!
I am sorry about your niece. I hope she gets lots of diamond painting done and finally gets her money back.
Toby was just bored but very dramatic. (I think he has a future in soap operas.)
Toby and Maverick – drama queens! My neice isn’t alone, my best friend’s daughter just got her refund a few weeks ago. I’m choosing to blame Brandon because why not?
A neighbor has been waiting nearly 2 years for her refund. (Hey, why not blame Brandon?)
Whoa! Any reason for the delay?
None that anyone can find. She got our state representative involved, and even he couldn’t seem to get the wheels moving.
Such times we’re living in!
I’d like to think that our times are somehow different than the past, but an evening with a Dickens novel disabuses me of that notion right quickly.
Which one are you reading? I’m about to dive into The Parasitic Mind
The last one I read was Bleak House. It made me laugh more than I suspect it was supposed to. The whole story seemed like it could have been happening today, and it made me realizes how humans never change.
It’s been a long time since I read Dickens. I think next year I’ll be rereading many of the classics
I wish that I would be too busy working for recreation. Well, much recreation anyway. 😆
I read for an hour or so before I go to bed. And I wish for much work to be heading your way too!
Thank you!
THE MINDLESS “ELEVATOR ” MUSIC DRIVRS ME CRAZIER !!!
YESSS TOBY HAD ME WORRYING !!
HUGSSSSSSSS
The music repeated every five minutes plus the “Please stay on the line. All of our representatives are busy helping other customers” message. Aaagh!
Toby is fine. His dinner was just a little late. 😆
I was worried there for a minute! Being on hold with the IRS does definitely feel like slow death though! 🙂 Glad you are both OK.
Tee hee! Toby is fine and pretty well rested after his long nap! 😊
“Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits.” –Satchel Paige as quoted by Toby
Sometimes I sits and farts, and sometimes I just sits. – Toby. 💨
If I see you boppin’ up and down, I’ll be running away.
SpaceX should be harnessing the power of small canines.
AW. No fun! and Yikes! 😦
And then when the hold-music is bummery, yikes!
So glad you included the *. I got worried.
Hope you get the help you need and it’s good news. Your tips are right on! I hate being on-hold on the phone.
Too bad we can’t do that to them. “Hold, please” and then put on some god-awful music! HA! 😛
(((HUGS)))
PS…Oh, Toby! Poor you! I’m glad you finally got to eat! 🙂
Toby’s dinner only ended up being late by about half an hour. In dog time, though, it was closer to a week.
Yes, thankfully it was just a computer glitch. Everything was OK with the taxes. 😅
A week! HA! I snort-laughed! 😀
Oh, good to hear! 🙂
I like your poem, “I sit”. It’s an ode to bureaucracy.
And 1-800-829-1040. Yup, I have it memorized. Nope, don’t ask me why. Eventually you’ll talk to every level of government agency, many divisions, I guarantee it. You’ll find that collectively they screw up a solid 70% of the time. They’re almost hitting the 100% rate of screw-ups. It’ll take some doing, but I have complete confidence that it can be achieved! Whooo-hooo!
Oh dear, how sad that you have the number memorized!
I bet you can hum the hold music in your sleep too.
With those in charge at the helm, they’ll reach that 100% goal in no time.
Awww, my comment got kicked out. Who are these people bots doing this?
It just went to moderation first. I have no idea why. 🤷♀️
Brilliant
Well, that was what it felt like at the time, anyway. 😆
I can sympathize with the IRS wait time. I just wish they had something a little more upbeat, something to dance to you know? lol
Or even vary the music after each voice message. Not the same thing over and over, 😆