I Sit

I sit…

with my hand clutching the blue marbled slab,

cramped so badly I fear it will never unfurl,

ears straining in vain to hear the words to release

me from this prison.

I sit…

My back aches.

My bladder screams.

My eyes no longer see this world

but view strange vistas from another.

I sit…

and my once vibrant puppy dog

so full of life!

now motionless on the floor.
His anguished cries of hunger finally at an end.*

I sit…

as the sun runs away

the stars sleep

the mountains lie down

and the oceans no longer cry tears.

It’s dark, and still I sit…


on hold…

with the IRS.


Can you guess what I spent my day doing? Yes, sitting on hold with the IRS.

On the plus side, the agent I dealt with was very professional and courteous. He was helpful and was able to handle my question quickly. On the down side, the IRS doesn’t have a call back system. You’ve just got to wait on hold until your turn comes up (multiple hours), and they have awful, awful hold music. We once had a discussion here about ”insipid”. That would be a good word to describe their eternally-looping music.

My advice before calling the IRS:

  • Make sure your phone is fully charged.
  • Have a light snack.
  • Be sure to use the facilities first.
  • Walk and feed your dog! ( – Toby)

Mom, this is soooo boring. Come playchasewith me instead.

*In case you were worried, Toby stopped complaining because he fell asleep. He didn’t die of hunger.


  1. my niece has been trying to get through to them for months, she still hasn’t received her refund from last year. I’ll tell her to just get some snacks, pull up her latest diamond painting and put the phone on speaker and wait them out. What a mess!
    Also, I was worried about Toby!

  2. AW. No fun! and Yikes! 😦
    So glad you included the *. I got worried.
    Hope you get the help you need and it’s good news. Your tips are right on! I hate being on-hold on the phone. :-/ And then when the hold-music is bummery, yikes!
    Too bad we can’t do that to them. “Hold, please” and then put on some god-awful music! HA! 😛
    PS…Oh, Toby! Poor you! I’m glad you finally got to eat! 🙂

  3. I like your poem, “I sit”. It’s an ode to bureaucracy.
    And 1-800-829-1040. Yup, I have it memorized. Nope, don’t ask me why. Eventually you’ll talk to every level of government agency, many divisions, I guarantee it. You’ll find that collectively they screw up a solid 70% of the time. They’re almost hitting the 100% rate of screw-ups. It’ll take some doing, but I have complete confidence that it can be achieved! Whooo-hooo!

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