Has anyone seen my red shirt?
Not that Geordie is always trying to get rid of Toby or anything…..
***************************************************************************
To see what my fellas were up to before they headed to the museum, pick up a copy of Poopiter. Poopiter is an illustrated chronicle of my boys’ first year together.
As you can see, the stories and ideas inside my books often come from real life – including the moon.
We got really lucky this year in that three different types of cicadae are all hatching at the same time. If you live in town, it isn’t so bad, but the further out in the country you are the more likely you are to lose your sanity having to listen to millions of these things serenading each other with their songs of courtship. (A local newspaper told us that we were to expect locusts, but these are obviously not locusts.)
We had a bumper crop of cicadae when Geordie was a puppy, and he loved crunching on the shells. Thankfully Toby doesn’t seem to be interested in them. I don’t think I could hold down my lunch if I had to listen to that again.
Other than sounding like Hollywood UFOs, these oversized insects are doing something terrible which is distracting the local birds away from a very important job…eating the ants that are taking over my garden! The robins are so fat and lazy after gorging on cicadae that they lie around on their backs with their wings on their stomachs whining for Tums.
By the time the cicadae are back underground, I think the ants will have taken over like one of those 1970’s TV disaster movies. (Starring Linda Day George, of course.)
What? You would rather I eat the cicadae?
*****************************************************************
Come to a world with no ants and no cicadae! Join Bitey and Toby in Dream Our World as the visit the museum of their dreams.
Inside, the boys imagine themselves into the famous works of art – they have no interest in the lesser known ones – as they explore all that the museum has to offer.
(Honest. It’s really cute. I have found that everyone from little kids to great grandmas enjoy it.)
Trying to look on the bright side after my fall, I told myself that my enforced sedentism would allow me to catch up sewing or drawing or maybe even blog posts. Instead, the lack of adequate exercise has left me unable to focus on anything and eating way too much.
Last week I was finally able to hobble out to the garden and plant some bedding plants my folks had bought. I had forgotten just how peaceful it can be in the garden, focusing on one small task at a time when – wham! – some stupid bee stung me. Twice.
As always, my boys are completely unconcerned with what happened to me. Toby in particular has been miserable to deal with because he hasn’t had enough exercise. The two of them jump on me and tip over the trash can and steal my books. Toby has discovered the bag I have ready to go to charity. No matter where I put it or how I secure it, he figures out a way to grab something and run.
Enjoy your naughtiness now, little puppy for one day I will be better. On that day, you’ll be in trouble…
These were my boots when they were young and innocent…before they became attempted murderers.
It is hard to tell from these photos just how swollen and colorful my legs were from the fall. After more than a week of healing, my left knee is only slightly smaller than it was in the photo. (Yuck. Old lady legs.)
I cannot tell you how bored we are with your knees. Walk us already!
If my boys do care about me being hurt, they are hiding it deep, deep down inside themselves. Geordie is normally the slowest, pokiest dog in town on our walks, but now he wants to fly. He is lucky I can’t balance on one leg or I would boot him in the behind.
************************************************************
To see what my boys do when I am not around, pick up a copy of Dream Our World.
Dream Our World tells the story of two little puppies who go to the museum of their dreams.
************************************************
Here is another behind the scenes story from Dream Our World:
The picture called “Dr. T. J. Eckleberg” is a reference to The Great Gatsby. We all remember from freshman English the billboard with the spectacles that represent the eyes of God looking down at the characters? Well, Dr. T. J. Eckleberg is “Mommy” looking down at the naughty pups who are so totally ignoring her that they’ve turned our backs and are playing with stuff they bought from the gift shop.
Splat!
Yes, this was my week. For some reason, bad things are easier to deal with in Bitey World, so I put it here.
I told my neighbor that it really says something about my place in the community that I can lie face down in a puddle of mud in the middle of the street, and people just drive by. Am I like the town drunk where this type of behavior is expected?
I was fortunate that this accident happened only a short distance from where I live. After landing on first my knees, then my face I was still able to hobble home. I was planning to plant the tiny oak in a clearing next to the sideways tree, but he didn’t withstand the trauma of flying. So sorry little one; I tried.
The puppies have been totally disgusted that we have had beautiful weather all week, and they haven’t been outside to enjoy any of it. Their frustrations finally boiled over today. Geordie poked me repeatedly with his nose while Toby beat me with his toy moon. Thanks for the sympathy guys.
*********************************************************
For a pleasant distraction, pick up a copy of Dream Our World. Inside, Bitey and Toby spend a day at the museum of their dreams.
The book has a number of inside jokes (to me, anyway). One is that the “Additional Artists” are all really me. If you note their names, they are the letters of my name rearranged. If you like my work and would like to commission your own piece of artwork, please visit my store for more examples.
In Dream Our World, you are invited on an extraordinary journey of the imagination where Bitey and Toby visit the museum of their dreams. The exhibits at the MOTI have the unique twist of being depicted as the pups see them. And how is that? With the boys front and center, of course!
Bitey and Toby’s story is told in pictures, not in words. Let the paintings speak to you. Let your mind tell the story. Most of all, have fun!
************************************************
I am both happy and sad to have this book done. I have been working on it so long that it feels like a part of me. Inside, I have constructed a world made of pieces of my neighborhood mixed with drawings of my pups’ actual personalities. If you read it, I hope that you enjoy the adventure!
Despite my best efforts to keep him away from it, Toby picked this little azalea as his favorite peeing spot over the Winter. I can only imagine what his daily waterings did to the plant. As you can see it doesn’t look quite like the other Spring flowers. I am not positive, but I think it heard it murmuring something that sounded like “electric fence“.
I don’t know what you are complaining about. It looks fine to me.
*************************************************************************
There is still time to order Poopiter before reading Bitey and Toby’s next book. It will introduce the characters and help to better explain the picture “Peppermint Girl”.
I will be posting a link to the new book later this week!
Just before this picture was snapped, I am sure I heard a whispered, “Mischief managed” and a light tap. I bet if you check their pockets, you’ll find a particular map.
*********************************************************************
As you can see, my two have mastered “We’re so bored we’re going to die”. They are frustrated because I have been at the computer too much this past week. I am just so close to getting this blasted book done that I don’t want to quit now. The book is trying to quit. It is doing everything it can to commit electronic suicide, but I keep bringing it back from the edge. If I’m successful, I may have something to post about later this week.
********************************************************************
We bark in the morning.
We bark in the night.
We bark to surprise folks
And cause them a fright.
A squirrel on the railing
Deserves an “Awoo!”
Till our barkers stop working
Our job is not through.
– Bitey Dog
**************************************************************************
Bitey and Toby’s next book is close to being done. Hooray! Everyone can be glad that I haven’t posted in a while because I would likely have taken over Bitey’s blog to whine and complain about how I don’t understand formatting and how my word processor is not working. (As you can see, I did not do that today. Bwahahaha!)
Before the next book comes out, you may want to read Poopiter. Poopiter tells of Geordie and Toby’s first year together and how Toby kept trying to kill himself. (He tried again last week. Different toad, though.)
Our church has many ding-a-lings
That come to mass each week.
The answers to life’s questions
They often come to seek.
Instead of thinking proFOUND thoughts
They like to kneel and chant.
And that is all we have today.
That is Geordie’s rant.
******************************************************************
The Adventures of Bitey Dog 