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Last week I had an appointment with my eye doctor. Unfortunately, the news wasn’t good. What I heard was:

You’re going blind!!

You have cataracts!

The Bell’s Palsy is irritating your eye!

You are diabetic!

Your prescription is off due to your blood sugar!

We can’t replace the lenses in your glasses!

Oh my gosh, did the doctor really say all of those things? No, but that is what I heard.

In reality, the doctor said that although my cataracts are worse than last year, they are still a young person’s cataracts. Also, they really can replace the lenses in my glasses despite me having rimless frames.

The other stuff has me upset, though. It appears that I have developed the familial inherited blindness. When I spoke to the doctor on Tuesday, the she didn’t think I needed to see a specialist about it yet, but after the week I’ve just had, I’m not sure. I plan to call her again this week. (The catch is that she is going out of town for a family situation and won’t be back until mid September.)

After checking my prescription, the eye doctor commented on how drastically different it was from the last time. What I took away from our conversation was that my eyes are acting like those of a diabetic. I had to go home and look up some of the terms she used, and it looks like I have had a number of diabetes symptoms….yet every doctor dismissed me when I talked about them. I am really confused because none of my blood test results ever came back that I have diabetes. Now I am afraid to eat anything. I feel like every carb is a threat.

One can’t help but be upset getting news like this. I know that it is possible that things may never progress or that as the BP improves, my symptoms in general will become less. For now, I fear that I will have another left turn coming up in my future. It seems like I’ve had nothing but left turns. I’ve had so many that I am constantly going in spirals instead of moving forward.

I’m tired. Can I get off this ride now?