The Boxes

What's all that? You know how mommy does posts about how much stuff she's getting rid of? Well these are the things that she pulls out of those piles or that never make it in in the first place. Do you think there are biscuits in there?

I don't think so. According to this, all IL smell is childhood and failure.

For some reason I am especially fond of hoarding failure.

After my last post I got a notice from WP telling me that it was my 1,000th post. I wish I had realized that and made it more festive!

Festive or otherwise, biscuits are the only suitable things to hoard.

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A good way to spend the miserably hot days of summer is to stay cool indoors reading Dream Our World! (Plus, proceeds help Murphy’s Biscuit Hoarding Fund.)

Inside, Geordie and Toby view the world of art from a canine perspective while enjoying a day of unsupervised fun. There are a lot of hidden stories about the different works of art inside Dream Our World, in case you are using it to teach a young person about art. Dream Our World is a joy for all ages. Treat yourself to a summer read that is both fun and educational!

Dream Our World, and other fine gifts, are available from my shop at L Bowman Studios.

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The Scanner

Mom, why aren't you telling stories about us?

OK, this isn’t entirely true. I did draw Murphy digitally. It’s just that I am more comfortable drawing on paper.

As long as I get adulation, I don’t care if it comes digitally or otherwise.

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With Independence Day coming and patriotism at an all-time high, consider adding this unique Armed Forces Quilt to your home decor.

An Armed Forces themed alphabet quilt is a great way to introduce little ones to the world Mommy and/or Daddy work in, or it could be a gift to a hero who has already served.

Each letter block in this U.S. Armed Forces Alphabet Quilt has a colorful, non-threatening representation of some aspect of military life. (W is for “World comma anywhere-in-the,” which is where you may serve! M is for M.R.E.) The corner blocks have pictures which represent the caring and kind natures of the men and women who serve in the armed forces. After all, a lot of what the military does is build relationships. One corner has a sailor kissing his baby goodbye. Another shows the special relationship between a soldier and the camp dog. Another has a service member playing soccer/football with a young boy. The final block is a family waiting for their loved one to return home after deployment.

This U.S. Armed Forces Quilt, and other fine gifts, are available at my shop at L Bowman Studios.

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Bissiger Hund (or What Happened With Bitey Dog?)

This surprising collection of stats greeted me from my dashboard last week. For some reason it reminded me of Dennis Miller on Saturday Night Live declaring, “Germans love David Hasselhoff!”

Since there were no likes or comments, I will guess that a German bot loves Bitey Dog. Perhaps it was Funnybot? (Ooh, that would be awkward…)

Don’t look at me. I’m too young to remember those references.

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The Grass

I'm sick or this. I'm going to go poop in the neighbor's yard. Where are you guys? Hey, who is pulling my tail?!

Forecasters were predicting two weeks of rain with one, brief, dry afternoon in the middle. I got home from work on the middle day and ran outside to deal with the lawn before the next round of storms came. But what should occur – like a kick to the a** – but a mower that refused to cut any grass.

I spent hours on the phone with the mower company because it was under warranty. They agreed it was faulty battery and said they would send a new one. The only problem is that they send at their own speed – not the speed of well-watered weeds growing in springtime. All I had access to was a string trimmer, so I went out and cut a path for poor Murphy like the one I shoveled for him in the snow in winter.

I don’t like the tall grass. Can I poop in the house?

(Murphy really did pull me over to the neighbor’s well-manicured lawn to do his business whenever anyone wasn’t looking.)

The sad thing is that we’ve had droughts the past two summers, so the mower barely got used. With 90% of the cost of a mower being the battery, this seems like a lousy deal.

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Come see what my other boys have been up to in Dream Our World. Inside Dream Our World, Bitey and Toby visit the museum of their dreams, view the world or art from a canine perspective and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun.

Dream Our World and other fine gifts are available from my shop at L Bowman Studios.

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Willis-Ekbom

Willis-Ekbom Disease: a neurological disorder that causes neurons to misfire in the brain. Sounds impressive. What else is it called? Restless Leg Syndrome. *rolls eyes*

Sometime in the past I’d been told that Restless Leg Syndrome was one of those made up things like “Chronic Fatigue” that lazy people use as an excuse for their lack of accomplishments. (Ha! They’re both real.) I was surprised when I found out it is an actual medical condition with a respectable-sounding name. Anywhere from 5-15% of people have it, but largely it is an old Caucasian lady problem. (Of course.)

I have closer to the whole body type. Yes, it can affect not only the legs but the arms, torso and head as well. For me this stupid condition likes to show up at the same time every night and hang around for about 90 minutes. My choice is to stay awake until after it passes or let it wake me up after about 2 hours sleep. While some articles say that it won’t shorten your lifespan, others say that consistent lack of sleep can cause a host of other problems and THEY can shorten your lifespan.

What causes it? No one is really sure, but they suspect low iron levels in the brain (even if the blood tests normal), low dopamine levels or inadequate blood flow. The good news is that it gets worse as you age!

Hey, wait a minute….

Kick all you want. I like sleeping in my own bed better.

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Deflated

What do you think we should do? Maybe we could take her to a car dealership. Want me to get a can of beans?

Despite increasing water and salt, I haven’t reached an amount that allows me to function properly. It’s funny when a Tubeman can’t stand – not so much when it’s a human that can’t even sit upright in a chair.

I wonder about doctors who casually say things like “Just take some salt tablets!”. Not every kind of job is drink-guzzling friendly. (I do anything from scooping pet poo to taking out trash to cleaning bathroom floors. I don’t want to be handling water bottles all the time.) Plus most employers don’t want you taking bathroom breaks every 15 minutes. And all the “normies” out there (with whom I am very frustrated with at the moment) don’t realize what it is like for people with MCAS (basically being allergic to everything) to have to use any sort of public facilities. I need to bring my own soap (super easy!) wherever I go plus carry my own moisturizer (no problem since girl jeans have roomy pockets!) because my skin cracks and tears after it gets wet.

While it’s not an impossible to lead life, it is much more complicated than most people realize.

You don’t expect me to care about any of this

when it’s suppertime, do you?

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Spare yourself the anxiety worrying over tariffs when dealing with products from other countries. Buy the young man in your life quality Made in America clothing for the next special occasion in his life completely tariff free! (To read more about each item, please follow this link: Boys Department.)

These, and other items for young men, can be found in my shop at L Bowman Studios.

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Death of a Frenemy

Going Out Of Business. You guys are so lucky.

This is beyond humiliating.

(Part of my image was borrowed from the internet.)

I was really surprised when my neighbor told me that our local JoAnn’s store had closed down. I had been there just a few weeks before to buy supplies for gifts for my niece’s coming twins. When I was there, I noticed updates to the store from the last time I had been there. Even though I couldn’t afford to shop there often, I presumed others were able to.

I got curious and checked online and found out that the entire JoAnn corporation had gone out of business. Ours wasn’t just an isolated closure of a store that wasn’t doing well. What mixed feelings this brought up! While I disagreed with the direction the chain had been taking, I didn’t wish for their failure. I wished they would get better.

Just as this area is a Pet Black Hole, it is also a Retail Back Hole. There used to be several fabric stores in the county, but now there are none. You can buy a few calicoes or a bit of fleece at Michael’s (there is no Hobby Lobby in this area), but you’re up a creek if you want to do any upholstery work or make outerwear. There are some online sources for fabrics, but I hate to buy without being able to touch and see the fabric in person. What is “heavy” to you may not be to me.

On top of this, recent news has featured shipping companies’ use of non-English speaking illegal workers to drive trucks in the country. More were hired during the shutdown because there was a sudden increase in the demand for goods shipped to homes. While these drivers are to be commended for finding work, it turns out their lack of familiarity with the country’s language(s) has led to an inordinate number of accidents. Now authorities are cracking down on drivers without proper qualifications. This means shipping companies will no longer be able to abuse their workers by making them live in their trucks or monkeying with the logs so that they work more hours than they are allowed. To us, it means that shipping costs are going to go up. Hooray, first our B&Ms are pushed out, and now we will have trouble affording shipping costs.

This news comes at a time of my own personal identity crisis. Last year my PT recommended that I go to OT. He said, “Wouldn’t it be nice to do some exercises and be able to go back to doing the things you love?” Yes, that did sound nice. My OT, however, said that I need to avoid activities that put stress on my joints. It turns out that most of the things I do/did put undo stress on my joints. In other words, I have to stop doing them.

Since OT, I’ve been trying to figure out who am I? What do I do? Working with my hands was my way of dealing with legs that don’t function properly. Now no hands? As I go through my One Thing Each Day challenge, I’m trying to figure out how much fabric I should keep. Is sewing even a part of my future? If it isn’t, what is?

Even though I may no longer need JoAnn’s services, I am saddened that the business is gone. Maybe with the country’s focus on making goods in America, we’ll find ourselves in a position to open fabric supply stores that have goods people will actually want to work with (natural fibers!!!) and be able to afford.

The gifts I made from my recent (last) trip to JoAnn’s.

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Cross stitched afghan with roses and bows on it.

For beautiful, made in America, tariff-free gifts, come visit my shop at L Bowman Studios!

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There Oughta Be a Law

Why do you watch TV? Why don't you read books like other moms?

I used to read all the time, but now my eyes are dry, and holding a book is very painful to my hands and arms.

Because every time there is a realistic doorbell sound on TV these two go nuts.

OK, I’m not actually in favor of over-regulation, but doesn’t anyone in Hollywood or on Madison Avenue have dogs?!? Every time there is a “ding dong” on screen, we lose five minutes of dialog to barking. From now on can’t we agree to just have actors announce, “Knock knock!”?

You really expect me to say ‘knock knock’

every time I come to the door?

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These, and other items for young men, can be found in my shop at L Bowman Studios.

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Compression

What's wrong? I talked to my doctor recently, and he said that so many of my problems can be traced back to one issue.

The thing is, if you look up this condition , it says that tight clothes can trigger events. Can you imagine compression hose on top of psoriasis? Unfortunately....

I'm trying to picture how awful it would be having to wear hose up to my waist and then a squeezy bra starting where the hose leave off.

then I have compression sleeves plus wrist and thumb braces. On top of all that I have to splint my fingers. With all this on, I don't see ho I would be able to breathe.

Maybe you should just wear a gimp suit. You know, the kind with the zipper over the mouth....so we don't have to listen to you complain.

Sad, Vetruvian Gimp

I’m too tired to even pose properly.

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I knew mommy walked funny, but I didn’t realize there was a suit for that.

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Come see what my boys have been up to in Dream Our World.

Inside Dream Our World, Bitey and Toby visit the museum of their dreams, view the world or art from a canine perspective and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun.

Dream Our World and other fine gifts are available from my shop at L Bowman Studios.

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Toiletries

I’m all done with my tree. Can I come in now?

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I’ll spare you the details and just say that things are happily back to normal with Murphy now!

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Come see what my other boys have been up to (including a “tree” joke!) in Dream Our World.

Inside Dream Our World, Bitey and Toby visit the museum of their dreams, view the world or art from a canine perspective and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun.

Dream Our World and other fine gifts are available from my shop at L Bowman Studios.

16 Comments Leave a comment