Fresh Hell, Revisited

You remember how a while ago I read that psoriasis can show up in some really awful places?  Yes.....

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Then I thought I had some but you guys just laughed and told me it wasn't psoriasis but ant bite?

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Well t his time it isn't an ant bite.  Oh.  Oh!

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Ew.

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(The original “Fresh Hell” post, in case you’re interested.) What can I say? Life just keeps getting better and better!

Maybe if I don’t look at her no one will realize we’re together.

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I read recently that journaling is a great way to improve mental health. I’ve always considered Bitey Dog to be my journal, so I thought this would be a nice excuse to play online more. However….yesterday it took my PC an hour and a half to do computer-slowing scans, and by the time it was done I no longer had time to work. Today stupid Windows Updates stole over two hours from me before I could sit down to journal. I talked to a friend this week who had to make four phone calls to four different representatives to re-schedule a charitable donation pickup. If someone really wants to help us with mental health, make effing things work right the first time!!! Sheesh.

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Handmade Butterfly Quilt.

Spring is right around the corner! Soon flowers and butterflies will be everywhere. Bring some of that springtime joy into your home with this handmade Butterfly Quilt.

A handmade Butterfly Quilt would brighten your guest bedroom with a patchwork look reminiscent of the quilts Grandma used to make.  The soft, cozy quilt would welcome your guests and help them to feel at home.

Handmade Butterfly Quilt, and other fine gifts, are available from my shop at L Bowman Studios.

Reps

Guys, I'm lifting 1/10th of my body weight.  Why am I not getting any bigger?  Well, how many reps are you doing?

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Reps?

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I have been doing nearly two hours of upper body work every other day for six months, and my arms are just as scrawny as they were when I started. How do I know? I need to measure them when ordering braces or compression sleeves. What will I need to do to bulk up? I can’t do those raw egg shakes like Rocky did.

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I can! I can! My tummy is all better, and I want FOOD!

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Handmade Butterfly Quilt.

Spring is right around the corner! Soon flowers and butterflies will be everywhere. Bring some of that springtime joy into your home with this handmade Butterfly Quilt.

A handmade Butterfly Quilt would brighten your guest bedroom with a patchwork look reminiscent of the quilts Grandma used to make.  The soft, cozy quilt would welcome your guests and help them to feel at home.

Handmade Butterfly Quilt, and other fine gifts, are available from my shop at L Bowman Studios.

Not Feeling Well / Stolen Valor

Aw, what's wrong with you? Are you sick? Do you have a fever? No.

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Then why did mom draw you with an ice bag and a thermometer?

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Actually, I caught a stomach bug.  Last night I had pudding poops and some got stuck to my fur.

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Yuck!  Now I understand the picture!

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My official title was “Geordie Stinkypoopyfur I”.

Who is this usurper to take my title?!?

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Leave me alone. I don’t feel well. ☹️

I am presuming this is a stomach virus Murphy caught, but I don’t know for sure. The vet said if he isn’t feeling at least a little better by tomorrow I should bring him in. In the meantime, I am supposed to fast him. This is possibly harder for me than it is for him. I worry that he is going to think I am starving him like the hoarders did. (If mommy had tears, she would be crying right now.)

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Handmade Butterfly Quilt.

Spring is nearly here! Flowers and butterflies will soon be everywhere. Bring some of that springtime joy into your home with this handmade Butterfly Quilt.

This handmade Butterfly Quilt could brighten your guest bedroom with a patchwork look reminiscent of the quilts Grandma used to make.  The soft, cozy quilt would welcome your guests and help them to feel at home.

Handmade Butterfly Quilt, and other fine gifts, are available from my shop at L Bowman Studios.

Working Out

Hey guys, I've been working out.  Can't you tell?  Who is talking to us?  Where's mom?  When did Arnold Schwarzenegger get here?  Someone is going to need a whole new wardrobe!

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Thanks to (a bunch of crap nobody cares about) I have been in PT using arm bikes, lifting weights and working with resistance bands for several months. After all this time I am practically unrecognizable.

Get a load of them guns!

And you thought she was kidding about that stick figure.

The sad part? I look much better now than when I started.

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Bear Paw Quilt

Looking for ways to stay warm? Consider this handmade bear Paw Quilt!

This rustic Bear Paw Quilt would fit in nicely at a cabin by the lake or thrown over your couch at home.  The pattern is geometric, and the colors are bold yet earthy.  The overall effect of the quilt is of paw prints in snow.  On sunny days, the colors look so inviting it is hard not to lie down on them and take a nap.

Handmade Bear Paw Quilt and other fine gifts are available from my shop at L Bowman Studios.

Mrs. Le Petomane

Come on, et me in!  No!

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But it's cold outside!  Then warm yourself by the porch light.  Just be sure to avoid open flames!

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Yeah, none of those hobo-fire-barrels for you!!  What's going on here?

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Mom turned out to be one of those rare humans who cannot take collagen supplements.  Oh my gosh, that is too funny.  That's what she's always accusing me of!

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Oops.

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Seriously guys, let us in!  I'm a dog! I'm supposed to do that!

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Let me in. It wasn’t me. I swear!

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OK, seriously, I have this big bottle of collagen that it’s obvious I can’t take. Any suggestions what I can do with it? Can you compost collagen?

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Bear Paw Quilt

Looking for ways to stay warm? Consider this!

This rustic Bear Paw Quilt would fit in nicely at a cabin by the lake or thrown over your couch at home.  The pattern is geometric, and the colors are bold yet earthy.  The overall effect of the quilt is of paw prints in snow.  On sunny days, the colors look so inviting it is hard not to lie down on them and take a nap.

Handmade Bear Paw Quilt and other fine gifts are available from my shop at L Bowman Studios.

One Thing Each Day (or The Mysterious Case of the Blue Bunny)

Where is my toy bunny?  Did mom get rid of it on her cleaning binge?  No, it's right here.  Remember?  You buried it under invisible dirt.

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Oh yeah, that's right.  Thank you!

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Can you find the bunny hidden in this picture?

I’m not sure you can find it, but there is a toy bunny hidden in this picture.

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For inspiration with my One Thing Each Day Challenge, I watched an episode of British Hoarders. What a difference between that and the American version! The American show has drearily sad background music, focus on the mental illness side of the issue and allow only 3 days for total cleanup. In the British show they feature upbeat music while an antiques broker and a home organizer are brought to help the client. The broker looks for possible hidden gems while the organizer teaches the homeowner how to do better. Then they leave for several weeks, and the homeowner is expected to do his or her homework and clean up the mess.

One month has passed, and I am keeping up with my de-cluttering. Despite my happiness over my progress, I’m waiting for the day when I go to look for something that I’ve always had, and it isn’t there. Or at least it isn’t where it usually is. How much time will I waste searching? Maybe Murphy can help me find it.

You can wish all you want, but unless it’s a biscuit we both know it ain’t gonna happen.

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Dream Our World

Come see what my other boys have been up to in Dream Our World. 

Inside Dream Our World, Bitey and Toby visit the museum of their dreams, view the world or art from a canine perspective and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun.

Dream Our World and other fine gifts are available from my shop at L Bowman Studios.

One Thing Each Day

Mom  wants us to help her with her "One Thing Each Day" challenge where you get rid of one thing each day to help declutter the house.  I found this stuffed animal that I've destroyed.  I found some junk mail.  I have this bag of navy beans I'm giving away.  There must be at least 365 in here.  Now I'm done for the whole year!

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I heard that!  Get back to work, you little crumb!

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Work smarter, not harder, right?

I think he was onto something.

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My aunt told me about this challenge years ago. She said that if you get rid of one thing each day – even if it’s something as small as a paperclip – at the end of the year you will have made significant progress in cleaning up your house.

I thought of this challenge as I was hanging my new calendar. What if, to keep myself honest, I wrote what it was that I got rid of each day on the calendar? So far, this has turned out to be a great motivator. Trying to sort out an entire desk drawer might seem intimidating, but getting rid of that cable from a camera you don’t even have anymore is easy. After a while, these little steps add up.

I wish I could say that the place looks neater already. Instead I can say that the stack of items I have to give to charity is growing steadily. I keep hoping that somehow my donations will make it to areas of the country that have been devastated. Their loss is so great. I want to help, but I have so little. Perhaps this will be a way for me to make a difference.

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Bear Paw Quilt

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Looking for ways to stay warm? Consider this cozy quilt!

This rustic Bear Paw Quilt would fit in nicely at a cabin by the lake or thrown over your couch at home.  The pattern is geometric, and the colors are bold yet earthy.  The overall effect of the quilt is of paw prints in snow.  On sunny days, the colors look so inviting it is hard not to lie down on them and take a nap.

Handmade Bear Paw Quilt and other fine gifts are available from my shop at L Bowman Studios.

Cancelled

In case you aren’t familiar with the backstory….

The Toaster

Introductions

(The point being that I bought a used car that looks a lot like a toaster…)

Are we there yet?  I'm not touching you!  His tail is on my half!

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I thought this feature might come in handy some day!

(This is only imaginary. I would never use the ejector seat in the car for my puppies!)

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Now this happened for real on a drive home. After squabbling in the car, the two boys were so tired that they fell asleep together. It is one of my treasured memories.

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I wasn’t there for that occasion, but I am very good at sleeping on my own.

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Bear Paw Quilt

Looking for ways to stay warm? Consider this!

This rustic Bear Paw Quilt would fit in nicely at a cabin by the lake or thrown over your couch at home.  The pattern is geometric, and the colors are bold yet earthy.  The overall effect of the quilt is of paw prints in snow.  On sunny days, the colors look so inviting it is hard not to lie down on them and take a nap.

Handmade Bear Paw Quilt and other fine gifts are available from my shop at L Bowman Studios.

Telemachus

Seriously? No foolin'? Honest!

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No, most moms don't walk their dogs at 4 am wearing a bathrobe, a mad bomber hat and snowboots!

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Unlike those two, I’ve lived in other houses.

I know.

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Due to a change in circumstances, I find myself unable to make Royal pillows any longer. I still have several large ones and several smaller ones in stock, and I would like to find good homes for them. These pillows would make a lovely gift for the princess in your life who may have an upcoming birthday!

To get a pillow of your own please visit my shop at L Bowman Studios.

Annie/Victoria

What's up with you? You've got kind of a Annie/Victoria thing going on. Most of my hair fell out when I got Lyme disease. The stuff growing back is coming in curly. Not cool. That's not how you looked whe I met you! I didn't know this was what I'd be signing up for! You're one to talk.

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Surely, Madam, I do not know to what you refer.

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I don’t know what you’re talking about.

I look exactly the same as when you met me!

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Dream Our World

Come see what else my boys have been up to in the wonderfully playful book, Dream Our World. 

Inside Dream Our World, Bitey and Toby visit the museum of their dreams, view the world or art from a canine perspective and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun.

Dream Our World and other fine gifts are available from my shop at L Bowman Studios.