Toxic Rain

Ooh, look. Two tails! Is rain supposed to be green? I don't remember carrots having eyes.

Yeah, we live kind of close to East Palestine.

I like my tail, but I’m happy with just one.

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Would like to have a picture of your evil, bitey monster (or very sweet monster)? Then visit my site L Bowman Studios. Pet portraits make great birthday gifts as well as loving tributes to a loved one who has passed.

Information about sizing and pricing are available on the Pet Portraits page.

Kiss of Death

I feel like such bad luck. Every time I try to do something, it fails. If I buy a product from a company, it goes out of business. If I train for a career, it becomes obsolete.
One time I applied to work in an other country, and it was plunged into a civil war from which it still hasn't recovered.
Now I've volunteered to work the fundraising dinner at church. I wonder if I will destroy a whole religion or only a congregation. Honestly I feel like the kiss of death.
Maybe if you brushed your teeth more often?
Oof

See? I told you I don’t get any respect.

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Little pig smiles as she lies on her favorite blanket

Has your pet had a bit too much to eat over the holidays? Then celebrate your food good fortune with a personalized painting commemorating the event! I welcome the opportunity to meet your furry or feathered family and get to know them through my work.

Information on sizes and pricing are available at my site L Bowman Studios.

A Bowling Ball Named Homer

This was Toby’s actual Valentine’s Day gift for me – a colorful Loofah dog. He said he didn’t think I would play with it that much, so he would do it for me. What a sweetie.

In true Toby fashion, he would only agree to a photo if his face were blurry.

Don’t you remember? Valentine’s Day

is my Gotcha Day, so I deserve all the presents.

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Would you care for a portrait of your own lovely pet? Consider having one done at L Bowman Studios.

Here is a link to the ordering process and pricing. Pet portraits make a wonderful birthday gift or a tribute gift to someone who might be mourning.

Shhh!

Crunch!

Toby and I were out for a walk the other day. As neared his nemesis’s house, (star of such posts as The Great Roundup, and The Day After ), I noticed he was completely silent. Not even his tags jingled as he tiptoed down the street. Realizing he was trying to sneak past the little dog’s house so she wouldn’t come after him, I did my best to imitate his soundless gait. It is hard to walk on stones in boots and not make noise, though. Every time my shoe crunched on a piece of gravel, I got serious stink eye from my boy. He doesn’t know how hard it was for me not to laugh every time he glared at me. Any neighbors looking out their windows must have thought us both crazy as we crept in silent slow motion past their homes.

Thanks to you, you big-footed elephant, I almost got bit!

Some time in the not-too-distant future a can of Halt! will be delivered. Paws crossed it will work to discourage other dogs from coming after Toby. Better still, hopefully we never have to use it.

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After my experience with my GP’s office, I decided to contact the neurologist directly to see if I could schedule an appointment. When I call, I am only able to reach an answering machine. So far I have called every day and left a total of 10 messages, but no one has called back. I guess in the new world, squeaky wheels are ignored and not greased.

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Dream Our World

Come see what my stinky boys have been up to at the Museum of the Imagination in Dream Our World! Inside they view the world of art from a canine perspective and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun.

Dream Our World is available from my shop at L Bowman Studios.

Nude Reclining on Sofa – Oil on Canvas

Toby insisted that I paint this picture for him. (He is fascinated with pretty girls.)

I would be even more interested if the painting smelled like something other than linseed oil.

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Dream Our World

Care to see what other artwork the boys enjoy? Then come with them to the Museum of the Imagination and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun! Dream Our World and other fine gifts are available from my shop at L Bowman Studios.

Toby’s Grumpy Christmas

Aaagh!!
What's the matter? I am so angry! I didn't get what I asked for this Christmas.
Wht did you ask for? Bitches and Ho Hos. Did you mean "ho's"?
No, "Ho Hos". I like frozen Ho Hos.
Then what are you doing with mom's stocking? I'm off to make her some homemade "coal".
But why? Well it's obvious Santa doesn't care about puppies, but maybe he'll listen if a human tells him something.

Toby is usually gentle with his toys. Geordie was the one who dealt with stress by destroying stuffed animals. At Christmas, Toby was so agitated by lack of exercise and being unable to poo that he destroyed his gifts as soon as he got them. (Then he went back to the tree looking for more.)

He was really upset when I had to finally take the tree down. I think he was hoping more gifts might appear.

(Sorry. Dopey mommy got tendonitis and is behind in her storytelling as a result.)

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Dream Our World

Come see what my boys have been up to at the Museum of the Imagination as they view the world of art from a canine perspective and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun!

Dream Our World is available from my shop at L Bowman Studios.

The Greatest Christmas Gift

In grade school we had to do a play where characters needed to learn that the greatest gift was not gold or silver but love. I have come to learn that the greatest gift is not love: it’s poop.

Scherenschnitte=type picture of two doggies pooping.

Across north America we faced unusually cold temperatures over the Christmas holiday. In this area it was -5 with a windchill of -30 for days. I know other parts of the country had far worse weather (and our hearts go out to you!), but this was the worst that Toby had ever encountered.

My boy was willing to run out and do super-quick #1s, but when it came to #2 he said he could wait. And wait he did…for days and days. By Christmas eve, he was the crankiest puppy I had ever encountered. He had two meltdowns that day, just like a human toddler. He was in such a mood that he decided to start opening presents – any presents – even those not his.

I tried to tell him it was OK if he went inside. I even set out some piddle pads just in case. I told him he could go anywhere he wanted and not be in trouble, but he just looked at me as if I were crazy to even suggest such a thing. Sneakily I kept giving him pumpkin and coconut water, trying to make going so easy that he could get done before his paws froze to the ground.

Finally, late at night as shepherds kept watch and angels sang, Toby finally went #2. Of all the gifts I got for Christmas, I think this was the best.

Silly. Any dog could have told you that poop is the greatest gift.

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In case your taste in gifts doesn’t run toward poo, consider a soft, warm cardigan. Classically styled Tweed Cardigans are comfortable enough to wear on chilly evenings at home yet handsome enough to wear to work or even to religious services. Hand knit of a merino wool/alpaca/Donnegal tweed blend, this extra soft cardigan will wrap you or your loved one in warmth for years to come.

Tweed Cardigans and other fine gifts are available from my shop at L Bowman Studios.


					

Creamed Cabbage

Hey jerk. Hey twerp.
You know how kale is just loose-leaf cabbage, and you can make creamed kale with it? Yeah.
So, if yoiu wanted you could make creamed head cabbage...even using one of those purple ones? I suppose.
Doesn't it seem dishonest that the results would come out all pink and lavender like a tasty confection? I mean, it's cabbage!
By the way, when is mommy's birthday again?

You’ve heard of putting sauerkraut in chocolate cake, haven’t you? Well….

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Combat covid apathy by dressing your young person in a classic, silk necktie. It could be worn for a formal occasion, religious services or even to school for classes. It could also make a very smart accessory for a ring bearer or guest at the next wedding you attend.

Gold Silk Herringbone Tie and other fine gifts can be found in my shop at L Bowman Studios.

Toby Miranda

What's up with the hat, Carmen Miranda? It's not a hat. I just keep sticking my head in my bowl before the food falls in.

No matter how much training we do, Toby frequently ends up wearing his dinner. I imagine his groomer is mystified at the myriad of things stuck to his head.

Dog photobombs picture with dish and toy in background

Personally, I don’t see the problem.

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Thankies, the Thank You Handkerchiefs, are a perfect way to tell someone just how much you appreciate them in a way that is longer lasting than a paper card.  Or, you can use them to clean your puppy's head after his dinner!

Thank You Handkerchiefs and other fine gifts are available from my shop at L Bowman Studios.