Author: Bitey Dog

Chopped Liver

I am going to miss Auntie. Auntis is so wonderful! She is the greatest. She's so pretty! Auntie gives the best tummy rubs.
So what am I? Chopped liver?!?
No. If you were chopped liver, you would smell better.
Two Cairn terriers asleep on the floor.

Yes, we like Uncle and Auntie better than you? Are you so surprised?

Once again company came to town, and once again my “faithful companion” deserted me. Both of my dogs preferred to hang around with my brother’s family, even if they were ignoring my pups in favor of their phones.

Really, I find it sweet that my dogs are so loving toward others, but boys….save the last dance for me. (Auntie and Uncle aren’t going to clean poop off your fur, after all.)

***************************************

Handmade cross stitched patchwork hearts acrylic coaster set.

Looking for a gift for someone special? These hand-stitched Calico Heart Coasters would be a great way to keep a loved one’s tables safe from glasses of icy lemonade. This set of coasters (and many other gifts) are available from my shop.

13 CommentsLeave a comment

Muffins & Pears

Whaa!
But mom, everyone loves muffin tops! Remember that episode of Seinfeld?
Oh wait...
Jeez, just how much weight did you put on? That's the thing...I didn't gain any!

Ha! Father Time’s a bitch, ain’t he?

Real Life Toby is smug that he can eat anything and still look cute. Real Life Mommy is grumpy that she is most likely going to have to hand even more money over to Walmart in exchange for a pair of pants. Or a muumuu.

****************************

This is the season for so many happy occasions! Whether a graduation or a birthday or an anniversary, your gift will make a real impression when presented in this reusable Gift Presentation Bag. After your gift has been given, it can be used to present yet another gift, or it can be used as a handy tote.

Zodiac Gift Presentation Bag (and others) can be found in my shop.

13 CommentsLeave a comment

Tan Lines

It's finally warm enough for short sleeves. Look, I already have a tan line! So going from Arctic White to Fish Belly White now counts as "tan"?
It does if you're Scandanavian!

Beware. Mommy’s tan can be blinding.

Despite being very fair and coming from a family strong with red heads, for most of my life I was unable to either tan or burn. I could go out for an entire day in the hot sun and come home just as pale as when I started. I didn’t believe such a thing was possible. I thought that even if you didn’t tan, you couldn’t help but burn. Nope. I asked a doctor about it once. He wouldn’t make eye contact with me and mumbled something about my body chemistry not being right for tanning or burning. It never made sense, but I didn’t know how to argue the point.

A few years ago I did finally regain/develop the ability to burn. Guess how I found out.

Do I smell bacon?

*****************************************

Copper Brocade Paisley Vest for Boys

Soon it will be the season for weddings! If you are planning to attend an in-person affair and need something nice for your young man, consider shopping at L Bowman Studios. There you will find an assortment of dress shirts, handmade ties, vests and knitwear in the Boys’ section.

Make sure your boy is dressed in the style he deserves!

12 CommentsLeave a comment

The Governor

Mwahaha!
Actually the article says that the Governor was accused of a "Reign of Tyrany", not a "Rain of T-Rexes". Yeah, but my way is more visually appealing.
Cairn terrier stalking prey

And if it weren’t for me, there would be nothing funny about this situation at all.

**************************

Cover of the book Dream Our World

While there aren’t any T-Rexes in Dream Our World, there are plenty of other scary things! Come with the boys to The Museum of the Imagination and view the world of art from their canine perspective.

Dream Our World is available from my shop.

12 CommentsLeave a comment

Cool New Shades

Look what mommy got us! A coloring book and colors. Wow, so many shades of gray!
D'you figure that's what the movie 50 Shades of Gray is about? A new box of crayons? Probably. What else woudl it be?
Cairn terrier stalking prey

You know I’m just going to eat those, right?

In Slovak, the word for dog is “pes” and the word for crayon is “pestelka”. This product practically invented itself. Add a few fangs on the box, and how could it help but be “Preferred by Puppies”?

********************************************

The deaf community has been receiving a lot more attention recently. Characters on TV shows and spokespersons in commercials are all highlighting the challenges and rewards of being other-abled.

If you would like the opportunity to start teaching your child Sign Language early, this handmade ASL quilt would be a perfect place to start.

Handmade ASL/American Sign Language Quilt with stuffed monkey posing on top.

Educational and a work of art, two qualities you will find to inspire your child in this heirloom-quality, handmade ASL/American Sign Language Alphabet Quilt.

ASL/American Sign Language Quilt is available from my shop.

17 CommentsLeave a comment

It Almost Happened Again

It was hard enough to believe the first time, then today it nearly happened again.

Last year Toby found a newly fledged bird on the ground. He was so startled that his eyes grew wide and his mouth fell open. The bird was startled as well and tried to fly, and he did…right into Toby’s mouth. Toby coughed out the bird, but unfortunately it died. (These were some rough sketches I did to remember the day.)

Today I opened the front door only to have a little bird come in and once again try to fly into Toby’s mouth. In his mind, catching birds must be the easiest thing in the world.

I must have chased that little bird for half an hour trying to get it to go outside. When it first came in it could only hop. By the end, it was starting to fly in earnest.

When I went to prop open the door to shoo the baby bird out, I found this.

A sibling waiting to come in and join the fun.

********************************

Country Fresh

If you would like a little birdie for your house, consider adding this Chicken and Eggs Stitched Bread Cloth to your decor. Homemade, warm, crusty bread (or breads you claim are homemade!) presented on a beautifully decorated bread cloth will taste even better when served to guests.

Chicken and Eggs Bread Cloth is available from my shop.

16 CommentsLeave a comment

Under the Couch

Yark! Oh Toby, why do you always have to do that under the furniture?
Don't worry. I'll get it. Gross.

Toby likes to make sure that it is next to impossible to clean up after him. Geordie at least had the good sense to go outside to do this.

Where would be the fun in that?

***********************

If you would like to enjoy more of Bitey and Toby’s adventures, order a copy of Dream Our World. inside the boys visit the museum of their dreams and view the world of art from a canine perspective.

Cover of the book Dream Our World

9 CommentsLeave a comment

Persistent or Pathetic

Oil Painting of Westie lad.
Watercolor painting of cat
Oil painting of male Goldfinch
Oil painting of Westie puppy.
Ivan the Husky, oil painting
Oil painting of Cairn Terrier girl.

For months, I have been applying for a position as a Pet Portrait Artist with a company that let’s just say rhymes with “Schmooey”. Every week or so I send another letter along with samples of my work and links to my website. Every week I get absolutely no reply. This isn’t the only place ghosting me. If someone doesn’t like my work, that’s fine, but I hate to waste my time and theirs with a bunch of unwanted letters.

Gma nags me to keep contacting these places, but I wonder where does the line fall between “persistent” and “pathetic”? How many tries does it take before I get the hint?


Little Cairn terrier.

Don’t kid yourself mom. You’re always pathetic.

16 CommentsLeave a comment