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There once was a male
Who had a little tail
Right in the middle of his forehead.
When he was good, it wagged very very hard
And when he was bad, it wagged harder.
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So, which end do I sniff?
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bad poem
A Christmas Poem
Thanks to computers and Fed Ex and all
I sure don’t miss going out to the mall
To be jostled and bulldozed and hit in the head.
I’d rather stay home and just shop from my bed.
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I don’t care how my presents get here as long as they get here.
White Water Rafting
Water smashing and dashing
and thrashing the raft
One more hit,
and there’ll be no more craft.
Rocks crash the bow
And then bash the aft.
To enjoy this sport,
you must truly be daft.
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I’m really more of a landlubber.
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If you’d rather skip the adrenaline rush of white water rafting and instead enjoy a calm sunset at the beach, then consider purchasing this peaceful Lighthouse painting.
This oil on canvas Lighthouse painting and many other fine gifts are available from my shop at L Bowman Studios.
The Spider and the Fly
(Not my image.)
*
“Oh my”, said the fly
”Dear spider, come see
My gossamer tablecloth
Laid out for tea.”
*
“In the shade of the tree
We’ll have crumpets and scones
And while away time
Till the afternoon’s gone.”
*
“And while we are chatting
Come look at my phone!
See the wonderful website
That I have done.”
*
“It’s all about you
And your wonderful home.
The lattice-work structures
with your silk you have sewn.”
*
Spider looked at the screen
And was quickly entranced.
She could not look away,
Not even a glance.
*
And with that
Tricky Fly was a fly celeb
’Cause nasty ol’ spider
Was caught in ‘the web’.
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I’d eat ’em both if you’d give me the chance.
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Come join the boys at the Museum of the Imagination in Dream Our World where they experience the world of art from a canine perspective and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun!
Dream Our World and other fine gifts are available from my shop at L Bowman Studios.
The Yark and the Witching Hour
Luminescent pile of yark
gently glowing in the dark.
Yellow like a ‘nanner peel
Little doggie do you feel
better now the puke is gone
sitting outside on the lawn?
(Wouldn’t Mozart be proud?)
The other night, Toby managed to jump up to the counter and steal and eat a banana peel before I could stop him. At 3:00 am he kindly gave the peel back. The poem has a happier ending than real life because it happened outside unlike reality which required an early morning kennel scrubbing. Thanks Toby.
Anytime, mom!
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If you would like to know more of what Toby and his brother have been up to, pick up a copy of Dream Our World. Inside Bitey (Geordie) and Toby visit the museum of their dreams and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun.
Dream Our World is available from my shop at L Bowman Studios.
I Sit
I sit…
with my hand clutching the blue marbled slab,
cramped so badly I fear it will never unfurl,
ears straining in vain to hear the words to release
me from this prison.
I sit…
My back aches.
My bladder screams.
My eyes no longer see this world
but view strange vistas from another.
I sit…
and my once vibrant puppy dog
so full of life!
now motionless on the floor.
His anguished cries of hunger finally at an end.*
I sit…
as the sun runs away
the stars sleep
the mountains lie down
and the oceans no longer cry tears.
It’s dark, and still I sit…
waiting…
on hold…
with the IRS.
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Can you guess what I spent my day doing? Yes, sitting on hold with the IRS.
On the plus side, the agent I dealt with was very professional and courteous. He was helpful and was able to handle my question quickly. On the down side, the IRS doesn’t have a call back system. You’ve just got to wait on hold until your turn comes up (multiple hours), and they have awful, awful hold music. We once had a discussion here about ”insipid”. That would be a good word to describe their eternally-looping music.
My advice before calling the IRS:
- Make sure your phone is fully charged.
- Have a light snack.
- Be sure to use the facilities first.
- Walk and feed your dog! ( – Toby)
Mom, this is soooo boring. Come play ”chase” with me instead.
*In case you were worried, Toby stopped complaining because he fell asleep. He didn’t die of hunger.
Barkers (Another Bad Poem by Bitey Dog)
We bark in the morning.
We bark in the night.
We bark to surprise folks
And cause them a fright.
A squirrel on the railing
Deserves an “Awoo!”
Till our barkers stop working
Our job is not through.
– Bitey Dog
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Bitey and Toby’s next book is close to being done. Hooray! Everyone can be glad that I haven’t posted in a while because I would likely have taken over Bitey’s blog to whine and complain about how I don’t understand formatting and how my word processor is not working. (As you can see, I did not do that today. Bwahahaha!)
Before the next book comes out, you may want to read Poopiter. Poopiter tells of Geordie and Toby’s first year together and how Toby kept trying to kill himself. (He tried again last week. Different toad, though.)
The Church Bell – by Geordie D. Dog
Our church has many ding-a-lings
That come to mass each week.
The answers to life’s questions
They often come to seek.
Instead of thinking proFOUND thoughts
They like to kneel and chant.
And that is all we have today.
That is Geordie’s rant.
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The Adventures of Bitey Dog 