*

After two long and painful months, I might finally have an answer to what happened to me. Northerners will be nodding their heads in “Wasn’t it so obvious?” gestures while southerners will shrug their shoulders at what we’re talking about. Evidently I am a textbook case of Lyme’s disease.

Lyme’s disease is a stupid disease carried by stupid ticks that travel on stupid deer that for some reason we are not allowed to slaughter when they come waltzing into our yards. I haven’t been to any exotic locations or hiked in the deep woods. I am mainly in the yard and walking along the road in this neighborhood. Somehow while pulling weeds or playing ball with my puppy, a stupid tick bit me and gave me this stinking disease.

These blasted things can be pretty small when they climb up on you.

I was completely unaware of the bite, and I never had the tell-tale bull’s eye rash we are warned about. It turns out that the Luchadora red rash with purple splotches I had is actually more typical of the disease than the bull’s eye.

I wasn’t the only one to get a tick borne disease in the yard. When Toby had his physical in April, we found out he has anaplasmosis. Toby got lucky. Although he has antibodies, he didn’t show symptoms. Mommy on the other paw…all the symptoms.

I told you I was special.

*

While northern dogs are now routinely vaccinated for Lyme’s disease, there is no vaccine for humans. When I asked the vet about this several years ago, she said that so far human vaccines just aren’t very effective. Treatment for Lyme’s is a course of antibiotics. I guess it is just easier to treat humans than to try to prevent them from getting sick in the first place.

Part of me is pissed at the way things went. If I had been able to see a doctor right away, I wouldn’t have had to go through months of misery (and exorbitant medical bills). I had a friend say something encouraging, though. She pointed out how much I learned from this experience that I wouldn’t otherwise know. That is true. I learned a lot of medical things, and I learned how to be annoying enough that people pay attention to you.

Nyah! Nyah! You can’t touch us!

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If you would like to help finance Toby’s and my campaign to rid our neighborhoods of Venison-on-the-Hoof, then pick up a copy of Dream Our World! At least part of the proceeds will go toward pressuring lawmakers into letting us sending these game vermin to deer-y Valhalla.

Come with Bitey and Toby to the Museum of the Imagination in Dream Our World where they view the world of art from a canine perspective and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun! Dream Our World (and other fine gifts) are available from my shop at L Bowman Studios.