Ghost Rider

Great googly-moogly, what happened to you?  Oh come on, it's just psoriasis.  I've had it for a while.  Mommy is Ghost Rider?
So h ow come you haven't drawn yourself like this so far?  Are you kidding?  I get enough grief over my weird eyes and my wonky knees.  I can just imagine what folks would say about this.  Mom!  Mom!  Here's a list of them who done me wrong so you can exact revenge on 'em!
Dogs offer commentary on their mom's condition.
Lemme guess.  Does it involve me wearing a paper bag?  Maybe...?  Where's your motorcycle?  Outside?

You would think that masks would have been my friends this past year, hiding my appearance from inquiring eyes. On the contrary. If you’ve ever wondered what that stuff feels like, it is like one of those horribly painful sunburns where even the softest silk feels like sandpaper against your skin – where simply moving is agony – where you absolutely positively do not want some smart aleck little brother to come along and slap you for the sheer enjoyment of your misery. Trying to wear a raspy mask over psoriasis is actually quite painful.

No, that is too good.  Pull some fibers on this part so Americans' noses itch.  Then they'll  have to scratch and will give themselves the flu.  Mwahaha!

Despite how much this looks exactly like one of my drawings, it is actually borrowed from the internet.

Americans are very polite about something like this. Nobody pointed at me and shouted, “Eww, that’s grody to the max!” In fact, they said nothing. If I brought up my appearance, though, they would jump in with tons of questions and healthy curiosity. Speaking as the resident weirdo, insults aren’t nice, but saying “Hey, what happened?” is perfectly fine. It’s OK to ask questions. The elephant in the room knows it’s there.

Getting to wear my unique gift from God on my face has made things harder when it comes to business. It is difficult to approach people with confidence and try to introduce them to my work. It is also more difficult to get a service sector job where you are the face of a business. While no one will admit that “fugly” is the reason for not hiring you, you will simply find that someone else always gets the job.

Have I tried medical care for dealing with this condition? Yes. The doctor charged me $300 for a 5 min consultation. Her advice? Hydrocortisone. Mmm hmm…Yup, I am definitely in the wrong line of work.

At least Real Life Toby doesn’t care about how I look.

Mom, mostly I look at you from this angle, and all I see is up your broken nose.

*************************

Royal Purple Velvet Pillows are now back in stock! These 10″ pillows would make a wonderful gift for the whimsical child in your life – or the whimsical child inside yourself! Each pillow is trimmed with gold braid and has a silky tassel at each corner. The center is secured by two matching fabric buttons which give the pillow a pleasingly plump look.

These pillows and other fine gifts are available from my shop at L Bowman Studios. All items are made in America and ready to ship.

Ohhhh, you can’t say “no”….

Hey Gallagher, are you sure this is how it's done? Of course. They're p'smashios for a reason.

Did you know that pistachios, cashews and mangoes are in the same plant family as poison ivy? Guess why I know this.

Forget pistachios, I’ll just eat shoeberries.

************************************

Dream Our World

If you haven’t had a chance yet, check out Dream Our World. Literally. You can check it out through inter-library loan at your local library! If you would prefer to have your own copy of Dream Our World, you can order one through my shop, L Bowman Studios.

Jurassic Cuke

Hey guys, look at this cuke. It's positively Jurassic!
After you eat that, it will be like that movie where the T Rex eats the guy with the Sat phone. Then later eeryone hears it ringing, and they have to dig through that huge mountain of....
Enough! Sheesh, why couldn't I have girls? It wouldn't matter. All dogs like poop stories!

Want me to tell you a poopcentric bedtime tale?

I’ve got a million of ’em!

Huge yellow cucumber
Very large garden cucumber

I drew this story after last year’s crop. That year we got exceptionally large cukes.

This year’s crop leaves a bit to be desired.

**************************

OK, so there aren’t any poop stories in Dream Our World, but there are plenty of other things to laugh at! Visit the Museum of the Imagination with Bitey and Toby and view the world of art from a canine perspective.

Dream Our World

Dream Our World is available from my shop, L Bowman Studios.

The Swimming Hole

In real life puppies aren’t allowed to come here, so we’ve found a way around the rules!

Young cairn terrier looking over his shoulder.

As long as it’s not a bath, I’m game.

**********************

If you would like a portrait of your wee evil beastie (or even your large, friendly beastie) contact me at my website.

Oil painting of Westie puppy.

Information on sizes and pricing is listed on the Pet Portrait page.

Shoveling Snow

Wheee!!

This is why I have lower back problems…because my boys are such good “helpers”.

************************************

Bear Paw Quilt

This rustic Bear Paw Quilt will keep you warm on cold winter nights. Bear Paw Quilt would fit nicely at the cabin by the lake or thrown over the couch. The pattern is geometric, and the colors are bold yet earthy. The overall effect is of paw prints in snow. On sunny days, the colors look so inviting it is hard not to lie down on them and take a nap.

Bear Paw Quilt is available from my shop.

The New Restaurant

It is a dark time. Across the state, businesses have been shut down for want of customers. So many restaurants have closed that underground, speakeasy-style eateries have popped up away from the watchful eyes of health department.

The boys’ beloved Sniff City has become….(Dun…dun…duhhhhn)… Hellmont.

My idea is better. No MINE is! Mom!!
Which of us has the best name for our new restaurant?
My idea's the best. It's the Diarrhea Trattoria!
Wait, does this place serve or cause diarrhea? Your choice! Oh dear, are those raisins and Tootsie Rolls on the bar? Well, at one time...
Forget about him. It's my idea that's the best.
It's the Copra...CopraphaGIa! The hottest spot for diarrhea! At the Copra,CopraphaGIa..Poopin' and noshin' are always in fahshion...Fashion? Yes, dahling...
Do you really think anyone will want to eat here? How is your dessert menu? Do you serve Poopsicles or Fudge Dragons? I'd like a meal to help me clear a room. I need assistance with my abstract expressionism.

Not that dogs eat poo or anything…

Well, only if it’s there.

*******************

Chewy has been rewarding customers with surprise paintings of their beloved pets. So many people would like to request having a portrait of their pets done, yet Chewy does not put them in touch with staff artists. If you would like a similar but legally distinct picture of your beloved pet, come visit my shop at L. Bowman Studios.

Friends and Family Helping Out

At our age, we have to be careful about not breaking a hip.

You are healing pretty fast for someone as old as you are.

Sad woman staands alone.

Is she going to start crying like Lucy again?  It's best to be prepared just in case.

***************************************

Cover of the book Dream Our World

Come see what the boys have been up to at The Museum of the Imagination!  They have been running loose for months, looking at artwork and having a grand time in Dream Our World (and in a real museum).

Dream Our World is available from Amazon.

 

 

The New Sweater (or How Rocky Road Can Keep You Warm)

Hand Knit Man's Rocky Road Cardigan

This is the project I have been working on lately, to the great dismay of my pups.  They don’t like when anything takes my attention away from them…especially little Toby.  There was much howling and crying for love as I constructed this dark brown beauty that somehow makes me hungry for ice cream whenever I am around it.

Little do they realize that these projects are what keeps them in biscuits and peanut butter – two things that they are absolutely certain they would die without.   I must make more sales in the near future, though.  Soon the weather will be warm, and they will be expecting doggie ice cream.

100_4222 (800x600) - Copy

You weren’t kidding about that ice cream, were you?

*****************************************************************************

Bitey Dog’s new book, A Tired Mommy Is a Good Mommy is ready to order at Amazon books.  (Also available in Kindle version.)  Come check it out!

And Now We Wait….

Today we submitted our formatted book interior and our cover art.  They made it through the first review, and now we have to wait to be presented with a proof.  After that, we either approve the book or redo the work until it is right.  I am hoping that things are correct because after looking at this content over and over and for so long, I don’t really see it anymore.  I can say that the pups are much happier now that I am not at the computer so many hours each day.  This afternoon we got to play with one of their friends as well as chase tennis balls and flashlight beams.

And now we wait….

Peeing on each other.

How the boys celebrated our time outside today.