dog

I Need A Phone!

Get free bacon from your phone!

 

Peek-a-boo!

I didn’t realize this was even an option! 

So, is there, like, a dispenser on the side or something?  What if your phone is old?  Would the bacon be stale?  Do you have to rub the phone like a magic lamp?  Inquiring dogs want to know!

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Come join Bitey and Toby on a magical adventure in Dream Our World.  In it, Geordie and Toby visit the museum of their dreams.

Cover of the book Dream Our World

Dream Our World is available at Amazon.

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Bitey’s blogs are likely to be a bit sparse for a while.  After the last painting, I decided to start another.  I had definite plans about what I wanted to do with this one, but the painting had something different in mind.   I don’t know which one of us is going to win, but it promises to be a messy fight.

In the meantime, Toby is bored watching me work, so he has been trashing the house.  I spend as much time picking up little bits of paper off  of the floor as I do painting.

 

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He Tried It Again

 

Aagh! There's no princess!I told you, man, I'm a dude.

…but this time he failed thanks to my bad knee.  I couldn’t move fast enough, and Toby wasn’t able to catch the toad.

Two summers ago we weren’t so lucky, and Toby did manage to lick a toad.  At first I thought he had eaten a dandelion gone to seed and was shaking the white fluff off his tongue.  Nope.  We had several hours of rinsing his mouth while watching to see if he needed to be rushed to the emergency vet.

So, do puppies learn from their mistakes?  Not my boy!

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Toby…I Mean Blue Puppy…Strikes Again

Last week I had two jobs come in.  My boys absolutely hate when I have to work and my attention is taken away from them.  Toby, I mean Blue Puppy, had a bit of a meltdown over this.

Tipped over trash can.

Naughty Cairn terrier tears up trash while his toy Blue Puppy watches the carnage.

Blue Puppy lies amid the trash can carnage.

As you can see, Blue Puppy tipped over the trash can and ripped up all the papers while Toby innocently looked on.  At least this was slightly better than when Toby got into the laundry and paraded around the house with dirty undies.

Toy kitty with stuffing ripped out of its head.

Humpty Kitty also fell victim to the carnage.  All of that stuffing used to be her brains.  I guess now she is Zombie Humpty Kitty.

Humpity! Humpity! Humpity!

How did Humpty Kitty get her name? I dunno.  Maybe we should ask Englebert Humpamint.

Given how miserable today was, I am going to hurry and sign off  so I can get some work done while the boys are sleeping.  It’s funny, they are my muses, yet they keep me from getting absolutely anything done.

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What might Virtual Toby and Geordie do as they nap in front of the TV?

I wonder what my boys would do at a museum? ....and so concludes our broadcast of famous museums around the world.

They go to the museum, of course!

Cover of the book Dream Our World

To read more of their adventures, pick up a copy of Dream Our World.

They are available at Amazon.

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Off to the Moon

 

 

 

 

Blurry pic of puppy playing with toy.

Has anyone seen my red shirt?

Here I am, all ready for space! I have my helmet, my bag of biscuits and my squeaky ray gun.

Hole on. Before you go, I have something for you. A new shirt? Thanks! Make sure to wear it on all your missions.

And here are some pictures of your girlfriend. I have a girlfriend? Wow!

Not that Geordie is always trying to get rid of Toby or anything…..

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To see what my fellas were up to before they headed to the museum, pick up a copy of Poopiter.  Poopiter is an illustrated chronicle of my boys’ first year together.

Bitey Dog and Toby in POOPITER

As you can see, the stories and ideas inside my books often come from real life – including the moon.

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Eww…

Close up image of cicadae.

We got really lucky this year in that three different types of cicadae are all hatching at the same time.  If you live in town, it isn’t so bad, but the further out in the country you are the more likely you are to lose your sanity having to listen to millions of these things serenading each other with their songs of courtship.  (A local newspaper told us that we were to expect locusts, but these are obviously not locusts.)

We had a bumper crop of cicadae when Geordie was a puppy, and he loved crunching on the shells.  Thankfully Toby doesn’t seem to be interested in them.  I don’t think I could hold down my lunch if I had to listen to that again.

Two cicadae sunning themselves.

Other than sounding like Hollywood UFOs, these oversized insects are doing something terrible which is distracting the local birds away from a very important job…eating the ants that are taking over my garden!  The robins are so fat and lazy after gorging on cicadae that they lie around on their backs with their wings on their stomachs whining for Tums.

By the time the cicadae are back underground, I think the ants will have taken over like one of those 1970’s TV disaster movies.  (Starring Linda Day George, of course.)

Puppy Cairn terrier chewing on a door stop.

What?  You would rather I eat the cicadae?

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Cover of the book Dream Our World

Come to a world with no ants and no cicadae!  Join Bitey and Toby in Dream Our World as the visit the museum of their dreams.

Inside, the boys imagine themselves into the famous works of art – they have no interest in the lesser known ones – as they explore all that the museum has to offer.

(Honest.  It’s really cute.  I have found that everyone from little kids to great grandmas enjoy it.)

 

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The Azalea According to Toby

Very sad looking little azalea plant.

Despite my best efforts to keep him away from it, Toby picked this little azalea as his favorite peeing spot over the Winter.  I can only imagine what his daily waterings did to the plant.  As you can see it doesn’t look quite like the other Spring flowers.  I am not positive, but I think it heard it murmuring something that sounded like “electric fence“.

Peek-a-boo!

I don’t know what you are complaining about.  It looks fine to me.

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There is still time to order Poopiter before reading Bitey and Toby’s next book.  It will introduce the characters and help to better explain the picture “Peppermint Girl”.

Bitey Dog and Toby in POOPITER

I will be posting a link to the new book later this week!

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Barkers (Another Bad Poem by Bitey Dog)

Cairn terrier sitting on tile floor

We bark in the morning.

We bark in the night.

We bark to surprise folks

And cause them a fright.

A squirrel on the railing

Deserves an “Awoo!”

Till our barkers stop working

Our job is not through.

                                                                                  – Bitey Dog

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Bitey and Toby’s next book is close to being done.  Hooray!  Everyone can be glad that I haven’t posted in a while because I would likely have taken over Bitey’s blog to whine and complain about how I don’t understand formatting and how my word processor is not working.  (As you can see, I did not do that today.  Bwahahaha!)

Before the next book comes out, you may want to read Poopiter.  Poopiter tells of Geordie and Toby’s first year together and how Toby kept trying to kill himself.  (He tried again last week.  Different toad, though.)

Bitey Dog and Toby in POOPITER

 

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Visiting the Funeral Home

Picture of a funeral home

On Monday, the boys and I accompanied Grandma to the funeral home to say goodbye to another friend and neighbor we have lost this year.  (Well, we haven’t lost them.  We know where they are, but we can’t see them from where we’re standing.)

The pups and I waited outside while Grandma went inside to pay her respects.  While we were out there, person after person came out of the building and straight over to Geordie and Toby.  They had to greet and be greeted.  They told me stories of their own beloved pups – both those who had passed and those who had recently joined the family.  Every person left with a big smile on his or her face.

Children especially seem cheered and distracted from the grief around them when there is a puppy at the funeral home.  Maybe more could consider having therapy dogs on site for those who need the comfort.  I know I would want to visit the therapy dog.

Two Cairn terriers sitting in the grass.

We’re puppies.  We can fix anything!!

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