To the Victor Go the Spoils

Can I have that?  No, it's spoiled.

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My garden produced very few vegetables this year, but so far it’s grown two rabbits, eight mice and two voles.

If you have the funds, I suggest investing in Victor stocks.

(By the way, you’re welcome that I didn’t provide photos of all the dead critters!)

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You mean I was supposed to be doing something

other than eating tomatoes out here?

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Hippie Dippy Weather Bun

What's up with mom?

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You know that humans like to convince themselves that they have clean paws when it comes to killing.  Well thanks to you two lazy bones mom had to "dispatch" some rabbits that got into the garden.

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What are we supposed to do?  The rabbits are already gone?  For heaven's sake, go pee    on the fence of something.  make critters at least think that a predator lives here!

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This is so unfair.  We have to do everything.

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Hey man, why'd you have to do me like that?  Why did I have to "do" you?  You were in my garden, you little runt, eating all my vegetables!

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Like, nobody "owns" food, man.  It's just there when you need it.  Eat what you want.  Those things weren't there by accident.  They were there because I worked and I built and I cultivated!

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Sheesh.  Histrionics much?

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You may have been mean to me, but I know I'll be right with the Spirit in the Sky.  Oh no.  You ate out of my garden.  You were a bad bunny.  No Bunny Heaven for you.  You are going to DOGGY Heaven!

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Noooooo!

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What do you think they'll give us to play with next?

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Now you know why God was so ticked about the Garden of Eden.

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If you look at the base of the pinwheel, you can see a nest of baby bunnies. Murphy is definitely not a predator at heart.

Geordie

My mom was trying to get Geordie to look at the camera so I could take his picture. She said “bunny” to get his attention, and this is what happened. Geordie was my hunter.

A lot of people have tried to make me feel guilty about protecting my garden, but if there are no checks and balances, rabbits can quickly get out of control. Australia was devastated by a rabbit invasion. An island in Greece housed prosperous vineyards for centuries until rabbits destroyed them. Bunnies may be cute, but they are prolific and ravenous.

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We’re Hunting Wabbits

Hey you two, get over here.  Mom wants help hunting a rabbit.  Ooh, I couldn't hurt a bunny.  I'm a lover, not a hunter.  Yeah, me too.  I'm a lover, not a hunter.

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You are not a lover, you're lazy!  Now get your butt over here and help!  New Guy, you get a pass 'cause you're still new, but next time you'd better hunt!

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This year’s problems started with “Watership Down”. It’s difficult to tell from the photo, but those weeds are over 6′ tall.

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That’s more than 12 Murphys!

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The season began with these voracious little tyrants. I was kind and didn’t kill them, and how did they repay me? At least one dug its way back into the garden and moved into the bean patch.

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Can you find the bunny hidden in these beans?

Neither could I.

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I was taught that pests don’t like marigolds, but rabbits love them. This marigold had so many pretty flowers on it before the rabbit moved in.

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The poor, devoured plant had the misfortune to grow slightly closer to the beans than it’s cousins and therefore lost its robes of glory.

Totally disgusted with the damage the Bean Rabbit was doing, I decided to try a humane trap. Instead of a rabbit, I caught an opossum.

Not my image. Borrowed from internet.

It turned out the rabbit was too small for the trap and was able to squeeze in and out between the bars. So, for several days I just fed the rabbit. The opossum was safely released to its home in the morning after also having a good meal of fruit.

After days of fruitless (ha ha) wabbit hunting, I startled an adult doe on the hillside. “No way!”, I thought. “I will NOT have you burrowing into this hill and leaving ticks and poop everywhere!” First I cut down all the foliage on the hill, then I sprayed with stinky spray and spread Irish Spring soap chips. I planted yet another pinwheel on the hill. Surely I had won this time.

Nope. The next morning I found my pinwheel knocked over, and this at its base.

(I stood the pinwheel back up.)

Inside that opening you could see little bunny ears and eyes. Aagh!

Despite my failures, I knew I had one weapon left in my arsenal…..

You say there’s a what right behind me?

Aagh! Despite being 3/4 Yorkie, this dog, as they say, won’t hunt! He was completely oblivious to the nest behind him.

(Don’t worry, I wouldn’t have let him hurt the baby bunnies. I just wanted to see if he would notice their scent.)

I don’t care for Hasenpfeffer, but I do like a nice marinara.