Hippie Dippy Weather Bun

You know that humans like to convince themselves that they have clean paws when it comes to killing. Well thanks to you two lazy bones mom had to "dispatch" some rabbits that got into the garden.

What are we supposed to do? The rabbits are already gone? For heaven's sake, go pee on the fence of something. make critters at least think that a predator lives here!

This is so unfair. We have to do everything.

Hey man, why'd you have to do me like that? Why did I have to "do" you? You were in my garden, you little runt, eating all my vegetables!

Like, nobody "owns" food, man. It's just there when you need it. Eat what you want. Those things weren't there by accident. They were there because I worked and I built and I cultivated!

You may have been mean to me, but I know I'll be right with the Spirit in the Sky. Oh no. You ate out of my garden. You were a bad bunny. No Bunny Heaven for you. You are going to DOGGY Heaven!

What do you think they'll give us to play with next?

Now you know why God was so ticked about the Garden of Eden.

If you look at the base of the pinwheel, you can see a nest of baby bunnies. Murphy is definitely not a predator at heart.

My mom was trying to get Geordie to look at the camera so I could take his picture. She said “bunny” to get his attention, and this is what happened. Geordie was my hunter.

A lot of people have tried to make me feel guilty about protecting my garden, but if there are no checks and balances, rabbits can quickly get out of control. Australia was devastated by a rabbit invasion. An island in Greece housed prosperous vineyards for centuries until rabbits destroyed them. Bunnies may be cute, but they are prolific and ravenous.

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Deflated

What do you think we should do? Maybe we could take her to a car dealership. Want me to get a can of beans?

Despite increasing water and salt, I haven’t reached an amount that allows me to function properly. It’s funny when a Tubeman can’t stand – not so much when it’s a human that can’t even sit upright in a chair.

I wonder about doctors who casually say things like “Just take some salt tablets!”. Not every kind of job is drink-guzzling friendly. (I do anything from scooping pet poo to taking out trash to cleaning bathroom floors. I don’t want to be handling water bottles all the time.) Plus most employers don’t want you taking bathroom breaks every 15 minutes. And all the “normies” out there (with whom I am very frustrated with at the moment) don’t realize what it is like for people with MCAS (basically being allergic to everything) to have to use any sort of public facilities. I need to bring my own soap (super easy!) wherever I go plus carry my own moisturizer (no problem since girl jeans have roomy pockets!) because my skin cracks and tears after it gets wet.

While it’s not an impossible to lead life, it is much more complicated than most people realize.

You don’t expect me to care about any of this

when it’s suppertime, do you?

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Fresh Hell, Revisited

You remember how a while ago I read that psoriasis can show up in some really awful places? Yes.....

Then I thought I had some but you guys just laughed and told me it wasn't psoriasis but ant bite?

Well t his time it isn't an ant bite. Oh. Oh!

(The original “Fresh Hell” post, in case you’re interested.) What can I say? Life just keeps getting better and better!

Maybe if I don’t look at her no one will realize we’re together.

I read recently that journaling is a great way to improve mental health. I’ve always considered Bitey Dog to be my journal, so I thought this would be a nice excuse to play online more. However….yesterday it took my PC an hour and a half to do computer-slowing scans, and by the time it was done I no longer had time to work. Today stupid Windows Updates stole over two hours from me before I could sit down to journal. I talked to a friend this week who had to make four phone calls to four different representatives to re-schedule a charitable donation pickup. If someone really wants to help us with mental health, make effing things work right the first time!!! Sheesh.

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A handmade Butterfly Quilt would brighten your guest bedroom with a patchwork look reminiscent of the quilts Grandma used to make. The soft, cozy quilt would welcome your guests and help them to feel at home.

Handmade Butterfly Quilt, and other fine gifts, are available from my shop at L Bowman Studios.

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We’re Hunting Wabbits

Hey you two, get over here. Mom wants help hunting a rabbit. Ooh, I couldn't hurt a bunny. I'm a lover, not a hunter. Yeah, me too. I'm a lover, not a hunter.

You are not a lover, you're lazy! Now get your butt over here and help! New Guy, you get a pass 'cause you're still new, but next time you'd better hunt!

This year’s problems started with “Watership Down”. It’s difficult to tell from the photo, but those weeds are over 6′ tall.

That’s more than 12 Murphys!

The season began with these voracious little tyrants. I was kind and didn’t kill them, and how did they repay me? At least one dug its way back into the garden and moved into the bean patch.

Can you find the bunny hidden in these beans?

Neither could I.

I was taught that pests don’t like marigolds, but rabbits love them. This marigold had so many pretty flowers on it before the rabbit moved in.

The poor, devoured plant had the misfortune to grow slightly closer to the beans than it’s cousins and therefore lost its robes of glory.

Totally disgusted with the damage the Bean Rabbit was doing, I decided to try a humane trap. Instead of a rabbit, I caught an opossum.

Not my image. Borrowed from internet.

It turned out the rabbit was too small for the trap and was able to squeeze in and out between the bars. So, for several days I just fed the rabbit. The opossum was safely released to its home in the morning after also having a good meal of fruit.

After days of fruitless (ha ha) wabbit hunting, I startled an adult doe on the hillside. “No way!”, I thought. “I will NOT have you burrowing into this hill and leaving ticks and poop everywhere!” First I cut down all the foliage on the hill, then I sprayed with stinky spray and spread Irish Spring soap chips. I planted yet another pinwheel on the hill. Surely I had won this time.

Nope. The next morning I found my pinwheel knocked over, and this at its base.

(I stood the pinwheel back up.)

Inside that opening you could see little bunny ears and eyes. Aagh!

Despite my failures, I knew I had one weapon left in my arsenal…..

You say there’s a what right behind me?

Aagh! Despite being 3/4 Yorkie, this dog, as they say, won’t hunt! He was completely oblivious to the nest behind him.

(Don’t worry, I wouldn’t have let him hurt the baby bunnies. I just wanted to see if he would notice their scent.)

I don’t care for Hasenpfeffer, but I do like a nice marinara.

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A No Bull(‘s Eye) Answer

Do I really have to wear this? Well, you wouln't eat the peanut butter.

After two long and painful months, I might finally have an answer to what happened to me. Northerners will be nodding their heads in “Wasn’t it so obvious?” gestures while southerners will shrug their shoulders at what we’re talking about. Evidently I am a textbook case of Lyme’s disease.

Lyme’s disease is a stupid disease carried by stupid ticks that travel on stupid deer that for some reason we are not allowed to slaughter when they come waltzing into our yards. I haven’t been to any exotic locations or hiked in the deep woods. I am mainly in the yard and walking along the road in this neighborhood. Somehow while pulling weeds or playing ball with my puppy, a stupid tick bit me and gave me this stinking disease.

These blasted things can be pretty small when they climb up on you.

I was completely unaware of the bite, and I never had the tell-tale bull’s eye rash we are warned about. It turns out that the Luchadora red rash with purple splotches I had is actually more typical of the disease than the bull’s eye.

I wasn’t the only one to get a tick borne disease in the yard. When Toby had his physical in April, we found out he has anaplasmosis. Toby got lucky. Although he has antibodies, he didn’t show symptoms. Mommy on the other paw…all the symptoms.

I told you I was special.

While northern dogs are now routinely vaccinated for Lyme’s disease, there is no vaccine for humans. When I asked the vet about this several years ago, she said that so far human vaccines just aren’t very effective. Treatment for Lyme’s is a course of antibiotics. I guess it is just easier to treat humans than to try to prevent them from getting sick in the first place.

Part of me is pissed at the way things went. If I had been able to see a doctor right away, I wouldn’t have had to go through months of misery (and exorbitant medical bills). I had a friend say something encouraging, though. She pointed out how much I learned from this experience that I wouldn’t otherwise know. That is true. I learned a lot of medical things, and I learned how to be annoying enough that people pay attention to you.

Nyah! Nyah! You can’t touch us!

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If you would like to help finance Toby’s and my campaign to rid our neighborhoods of Venison-on-the-Hoof, then pick up a copy of Dream Our World! At least part of the proceeds will go toward pressuring lawmakers into letting us sending these ~~game~~ vermin to deer-y Valhalla.

Come with Bitey and Toby to the Museum of the Imagination in Dream Our World where they view the world of art from a canine perspective and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun! Dream Our World (and other fine gifts) are available from my shop at L Bowman Studios.

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Mike Tyson vs. Batman

What happened to you? Did you lose a fight with Mike Tyson? Are you Red Batman? What makes it even funnier is that I can pick on you all I want, and you can't smack me or you risk scraping your knuckles and having another reaction. Mwahahaha!

I guess I forgot that humans can use tools.

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In real life I look even worse than in these pictures. My camera seems to want to color correct. I guess “lobster” isn’t deemed an appropriate color for a human.

Mommy says I have to tell everyone that she has never raised a paw to me in real life.

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To find out what other mischief Bitey and Toby like to get into, pick up a copy of Dream Our World. Inside they visit the Museum of the Imagination where they view the world of art from a canine perspective and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun.

Dream Our World and other fine gifts are available from my shop at L Bowman Studios or at your local library!

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Duck and Cover

I got you a duck, and Geordie got you a helmet.

How else is it supposed to protect your head?

Against my will, I got to learn something recently.

A couple of weeks ago I failed to duck low enough when walking under some stairs and whacked my head. I bump myself often enough that I quickly forgot about the incident. A few days afterward, I started getting a big lump on my head. Then I developed chills and fever with joint pain, skin pain, muscle pain and what I presume to be tendon pain because there aren’t a lot of muscles in the hands. Just to make things more fun, I got terribly itchy as if I had dipped my head in poison ivy.

The fever came and went for a few days before I felt like it was behind me. With the fever seemingly gone, my head now feels like someone beat on it with a hammer leaving little circles of pain all over it. While we all know our hair moves in some throwback to when it was more efficient at capturing heat and signaling our emotions, we are rarely aware of it. I have been blown away by how much my hair moves in a day. It is an agony every time it does, yet it constantly does so. The swelling, pain and itchy rash have moved down from my scalp to cover my forehead and the left side of my face to my cheekbones.

Initially I thought I had hit my head hard enough to split the scalp and develop an infection, but I don’t believe that is what happened. It looks like more like I am having an autoimmune reaction to an injury.* I think the itchiness and the swelling are Koebner phenomenon where 11% – 75% (Way to narrow down the numbers, scientists!) of lucky psoriasis patients can develop symptoms that resemble psoriasis whenever their skin is injured (mosquito bites, tattoos, acne, etc). With the way I hurt myself, I can’t see this as being good news. Plus, symptoms can take anywhere from as little as 3 days to as much as 20 years to develop. Sure, that will be easy to keep track of. No problem.

In the meantime, the only way I can get through my days is with an ice bag on my head. I haven’t been able to sleep more than 3 hrs a night since this happened because the itching is so bad and it’s too painful to have my head touch a pillow.

I think what hurts the most is that my hair was finally starting to grow back. All the swelling from this trauma is likely to make it fall out again.

I really need to order a chemo hat.

*Funny since my doctor told me explicitly that I do not have an autoimmune disease.

You should have my fur instead. It is glorious!

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If you would like to see what Geordie and Toby do when they aren’t bringing me ducks, check out a copy of Dream Our World. Inside the boys explore the world of art from a canine perspective and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun.

Dream Our World and other fine gifts are available from my shop at L Bowman Studios.