I blame my mom for this. I mentioned to her that I could really go for a brownie or a piece of cake but I didn’t think I could open my mouth far enough to bite one. “Oh,” she said, “cakes and brownies smoosh up really easily. Smash, smash, smash and they are ready to eat!” Turns out she was right. Dip them in coffee, and they go down even easier. Sigh. When will I stop listening to my mom?
Huh? Did you say something?
I stopped listening to you a long time ago.
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To find out what more my boys do when they ignore me, pick up a copy of Dream Our World. Inside Bitey and Toby view the world of art from a canine perspective and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun.
After two long and painful months, I might finally have an answer to what happened to me. Northerners will be nodding their heads in “Wasn’t it so obvious?” gestures while southerners will shrug their shoulders at what we’re talking about. Evidently I am a textbook case of Lyme’s disease.
Lyme’s disease is a stupid disease carried by stupid ticks that travel on stupid deer that for some reason we are not allowed to slaughter when they come waltzing into our yards. I haven’t been to any exotic locations or hiked in the deep woods. I am mainly in the yard and walking along the road in this neighborhood. Somehow while pulling weeds or playing ball with my puppy, a stupid tick bit me and gave me this stinking disease.
These blasted things can be pretty small when they climb up on you.
I was completely unaware of the bite, and I never had the tell-tale bull’s eye rash we are warned about. It turns out that the Luchadora red rash with purple splotches I had is actually more typical of the disease than the bull’s eye.
I wasn’t the only one to get a tick borne disease in the yard. When Toby had his physical in April, we found out he has anaplasmosis. Toby got lucky. Although he has antibodies, he didn’t show symptoms. Mommy on the other paw…all the symptoms.
I told you I was special.
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While northern dogs are now routinely vaccinated for Lyme’s disease, there is no vaccine for humans. When I asked the vet about this several years ago, she said that so far human vaccines just aren’t very effective. Treatment for Lyme’s is a course of antibiotics. I guess it is just easier to treat humans than to try to prevent them from getting sick in the first place.
Part of me is pissed at the way things went. If I had been able to see a doctor right away, I wouldn’t have had to go through months of misery (and exorbitant medical bills). I had a friend say something encouraging, though. She pointed out how much I learned from this experience that I wouldn’t otherwise know. That is true. I learned a lot of medical things, and I learned how to be annoying enough that people pay attention to you.
Nyah! Nyah! You can’t touch us!
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If you would like to help finance Toby’s and my campaign to rid our neighborhoods of Venison-on-the-Hoof, then pick up a copy of Dream Our World! At least part of the proceeds will go toward pressuring lawmakers into letting us sending these game vermin to deer-y Valhalla.
Come with Bitey and Toby to the Museum of the Imagination in Dream Our World where they view the world of art from a canine perspective and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun! Dream Our World (and other fine gifts) are available from my shop at L Bowman Studios.
If you would care to see what devilment my boys get into when I’m not around, pick up a copy of Dream Our World. Inside the boys visit the Museum or the Imagination and view the world of art from a canine perspective all while enjoying a day of unsupervised fun.
Grandma got to see Toby stop the Fed Ex truck in the middle of an intersection with his antics. This was her comment:
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What can I say? I like me some Milk Bones.
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To find out what other things my boys have been up to, pick up a copy of Dream Our World. Inside Bitey and Toby view the world of art from a canine perspective and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun.
In real life I look even worse than in these pictures. My camera seems to want to color correct. I guess “lobster” isn’t deemed an appropriate color for a human.
Mommy says I have to tell everyone that she has never raised a paw to me in real life.
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To find out what other mischief Bitey and Toby like to get into, pick up a copy of Dream Our World. Inside they visit the Museum of the Imagination where they view the world of art from a canine perspective and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun.
When a new delivery driver started this route, she memorized every home that had a pup and left a Milk Bone on top of each package she delivered. It didn’t take long for all the dogs dog in the neighborhood to recognize the sound of her truck and bark like crazy whenever they heard it.
Toby can hear the engine a half mile away. If we happen to be out for a walk when it is coming, he will plant himself in the middle of the road to wait for his personalized biscuit delivery. He puts on such a performance that sometimes the driver has to stop traffic to give my little monster a Milk Bone. Woe to the dog several houses away that can see my boy eating his treat and yet is too far away to get hers!
And yes, Toby will climb the steps to get to his biscuit if he gets the chance.
What can I say? I am a sucker for Milk Bones.
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Would you like to see what else Bitey and Toby are up to? Then pick up a copy of Dream Our World. Inside the boys visit the Museum of the Imagination and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun.
Against my will, I got to learn something recently.
A couple of weeks ago I failed to duck low enough when walking under some stairs and whacked my head. I bump myself often enough that I quickly forgot about the incident. A few days afterward, I started getting a big lump on my head. Then I developed chills and fever with joint pain, skin pain, muscle pain and what I presume to be tendon pain because there aren’t a lot of muscles in the hands. Just to make things more fun, I got terribly itchy as if I had dipped my head in poison ivy.
The fever came and went for a few days before I felt like it was behind me. With the fever seemingly gone, my head now feels like someone beat on it with a hammer leaving little circles of pain all over it. While we all know our hair moves in some throwback to when it was more efficient at capturing heat and signaling our emotions, we are rarely aware of it. I have been blown away by how much my hair moves in a day. It is an agony every time it does, yet it constantly does so. The swelling, pain and itchy rash have moved down from my scalp to cover my forehead and the left side of my face to my cheekbones.
Initially I thought I had hit my head hard enough to split the scalp and develop an infection, but I don’t believe that is what happened. It looks like more like I am having an autoimmune reaction to an injury.* I think the itchiness and the swelling are Koebner phenomenon where 11% – 75% (Way to narrow down the numbers, scientists!) of lucky psoriasis patients can develop symptoms that resemble psoriasis whenever their skin is injured (mosquito bites, tattoos, acne, etc). With the way I hurt myself, I can’t see this as being good news. Plus, symptoms can take anywhere from as little as 3 days to as much as 20 years to develop. Sure, that will be easy to keep track of. No problem.
In the meantime, the only way I can get through my days is with an ice bag on my head. I haven’t been able to sleep more than 3 hrs a night since this happened because the itching is so bad and it’s too painful to have my head touch a pillow.
I think what hurts the most is that my hair was finally starting to grow back. All the swelling from this trauma is likely to make it fall out again.
I really need to order a chemo hat.
*Funny since my doctor told me explicitly that I do not have an autoimmune disease.
You should have my fur instead. It is glorious!
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If you would like to see what Geordie and Toby do when they aren’t bringing me ducks, check out a copy of Dream Our World. Inside the boys explore the world of art from a canine perspective and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun.
Toby has altogether too much time on his hands. Um, paws.
Why, what do you want me to think about?
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Don’t forget to pick up a copy of Dream Our World. Inside, Bitey and Toby explore the museum of their dreams and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun! (Dream Our World is also available through your local library’s Inter-Library Loan System.)
For years, scientists have known that plantsemit chemicals into the soil to communicate with each other. The plants send chemical messages through fungal networks to warn other plants about threats in their environment. Plants also emit electrical signals to sense and respond to what is going on around them. That lovely scent of a freshly mown lawn? It is actually all those blades of grass and flowers releasing chemicals as a cry for help with whatever is damaging them.
For those who feel they are doing something extra ethical by not eating “something with a face” and instead eat plants, this article might be interesting.
It turns out that not only do plants use chemicals, electrical signals and fungi to signal distress, they also make sounds. While above the limits of ordinary human hearing, the sounds plants make can be heard by insects and animals.
Last week we had an island of sunny dryness in an otherwise cold and rainy fortnight. Everyone in town cut their lawns at the same time. Imagine the disturbance in the Force that day. For those with ears to hear, the clicking-screams must have been deafening.
Like I care. I’m going to keep eating grass whenever I want!
I think Toby’s biggest complaint about the Great Mow Day was that all the tall grass clumps he chooses for #1 were gone at the same time. It was so hard to decide where to go.
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Feel like celebrating something galactic for May the Fourth? Then why not add an Alien Hand ASL pillow to your decor! The pistachio green hand forms the American Sign Language sign for “I love you”. This pillow would make a great gift for someone you think is “out of this world”!
The Adventures of Bitey Dog 