Talk Like a Pirate Day!
OK, so the boys and I are a little late in sending out our wishes. They are sincere nonetheless.
“Ahoy!” “Avast!” and “Walk the plank, ye scurvy dogs!!
No Good Deed
I have been trying to be responsible this Summer and keep up with my garden as tasks arise. On Thursday I was doing my best to to be a good steward and pick beets to can. I wanted to make sure none of the precious food went to waste. And what was the reward for my efforts?
Some stupid bug came along and bit/stung me on the eye! Is this dampening my enthusiasm for further gardening? You betcha.
Ha! Mom, you look like Popeye!
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Come visit with the boys on their adventures in Poopiter!
(Watch them laugh at my misery.)
My Kingdom for a Drawing Program!
Is there anyone out there who could recommend a free drawing program that you don’t need to be a genius to use? I am working with (and enjoying) Photoshop Elements 6, but I find that I want to do things than it can’t. I recently tried Krita, and I think I am going to love it….eventually. At the moment I am still having trouble with basics like consistently using the undo tool more than once and adding text. The brushes are pretty awesome, though.
I am looking to create an effect that would look like embossing on homemade paper where the texture of the paper is preserved through the text. Does that sound doable? Any help would be greatly appreciated!
Mom, you’ve got to be kidding me. You’re not planning to spend even more time in front of that stupid box, are you?
How Do You Live With A Dog On Steroids?
Last week Geordie had an appointment with the vet, and she gave him steroids to help with the full-body itchies he gets at this time of year. I thought this would be a great thing – my boy would finally stop nagging me because he was miserable and didn’t know what to do about it. Maybe we could both get some sleep!
And yet, no. Instead we have substituted one misery for another. The steroids have given Geordie an appetite beyond belief. He spends all day squeaking at me to give him biscuits. He’ll take kibble or table food, but he wants biscuits. Milk Bones, Liva’ Snaps, Marrow Bones…it doesn’t matter. He’ll eat them all. Literally.
An unexpected side effect from Geordie’s steroids is that Toby is gaining weight. Why? Is he getting into Geordie’s meds? No, but every time I feed Geordie, I need to give Toby something to preserve equity in the house. Even if I only give Toby one piece of kibble, Geordie eats so often that my little Toby has turned into a butterball. Today I made him go for a long walk around the neighborhood until he flopped down on the pavement in surrender. We’re going to need a lot of those before the weight comes off.
Whatchoo talking’ ’bout? I’m not fat!
Together Apart
They like to be near each other….just not too near each other.
Things I Learned on the Gutchie Hunt
I haven’t been to a department store for undies in a long time, and I am amazed at how high the cost has become! I am used to a week’s worth of underwear costing around $10, but at the mall, be prepared to spend $75-80. Ouch. At those prices, you can’t afford to have a laundry accident.
Also a surprise was the styles. I haven’t seen such an assortment of boring, conservative gutchies since the 1800s. For some reason pantie waist lines keep going up while pant waist lines remain mostly low. I thought that the “undies-sticking-out-of-your-jeans” look was more for young men trying to look tough. On little old ladies it does not impress.
On a related note, I walked past a mannequin wearing jeans with a huge tag announcing them as “Mom Jeans”. Oh thank heavens! For the young, you might not know yet how wonderful these things can be, but they truly deserve a place in the closet. They are generally made of bottomweight denim and come up to your natural waist. They are loose and comfortable and are great for when you need to do real work, not to look sexy. Landscaping, shoveling snow, walking dogs, relaxing at home by yourself…all such great times for warm, comfy pants! Perhaps underwear designers are expecting a boom to the Mom jeans market and that is why they are making such a plethora of giant grandma thunder panties.
This might come as a disappointment to a section of the market I hadn’t previously considered. While looking online to check the quality of different brands, I saw a considerable number men reviewing ladies’ panties. I am not sure if bloomers are going to provide them with what they are looking for, though. There’s not much support to them, and if you want them to make you feel femimine, they don’t.
Mom, this is soooo boring! Call us when you’re done complaining about underwear.
Semper Ubi Sub Ubi, Revisited
Ignore the vest, Mummy. Let it all hang out!
If you read A Tired Mommy Is A Good Mommy, you will recognize just how important gutchies can be to me. Today I had one of the most disappointing things that could happen to a woman happen: I found out that my favorite underwear has been discontinued. If you are a lady, you know how concerning this can be. Without the right style, not only can you wind up with endless wedgies, but your confidence in your appearance can suffer (and mosquitoes can bite your exposed privates if you go commando!).
Toby and Geordie tried to convince me that living sky clad was the only way to go. I merely had to remind them of the Lady Godiva incident for them to hush and skulk off to another room.
Bitey and the Bee Stings
You might feel yourself on life’s ladder’s low rung
If you wake up each day with a paw that’s been stung.
I Did It Again
It seems that I am a dog who should take my own advice. What did I say at the end of my last blog? Something about watching out for the bees?
After being stung on Friday, I finally started to feel better by Monday. I was cheerful, and my appetite was back. I was greeting neighbors and being my normal bouncy self. Then two steps from the front door I did it again; I stepped on a bee.
This time Mom didn’t hesitate, and she rushed me to the vet. They didn’t seem as worried as she was about me. They checked my paw for stingers. (That hurt like heck). The checked me for a fever. (Despite what the vet said about “bigger things that ‘this’ coming out of ‘there’ all the time” I did not care for it…therefore it hurt like heck.) Then they gave me the nastiest shot I’ve ever had in my life. (That hurt like heck.) My poor paw swelled like an elephant’s foot, and I couldn’t stop panting and pacing. When we got home, I had to take the worst tasting antibiotic invented by man. It was definitely not my day.
To make things worse Toby was feeling neglected, so he got all the attention once I was settled in at home. He got to go out in the yard and play Frisbee with Mom (the bees were asleep by then), and I had to sit in the house with a nasty aftertaste in my mouth while my paw throbbed.
I would warn you to be careful about the bees again, but I can see it won’t help. After watching the movie Swarm, it seems that once bees are riled up there is no stopping them. Just try to make sure that when you’re stung you don’t fall on the train throttle or the self destruct button on the nuclear power plant. The earth’s survivors will thank you.
The Adventures of Bitey Dog 