In real life I look even worse than in these pictures. My camera seems to want to color correct. I guess “lobster” isn’t deemed an appropriate color for a human.
Mommy says I have to tell everyone that she has never raised a paw to me in real life.
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To find out what other mischief Bitey and Toby like to get into, pick up a copy of Dream Our World. Inside they visit the Museum of the Imagination where they view the world of art from a canine perspective and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun.
Against my will, I got to learn something recently.
A couple of weeks ago I failed to duck low enough when walking under some stairs and whacked my head. I bump myself often enough that I quickly forgot about the incident. A few days afterward, I started getting a big lump on my head. Then I developed chills and fever with joint pain, skin pain, muscle pain and what I presume to be tendon pain because there aren’t a lot of muscles in the hands. Just to make things more fun, I got terribly itchy as if I had dipped my head in poison ivy.
The fever came and went for a few days before I felt like it was behind me. With the fever seemingly gone, my head now feels like someone beat on it with a hammer leaving little circles of pain all over it. While we all know our hair moves in some throwback to when it was more efficient at capturing heat and signaling our emotions, we are rarely aware of it. I have been blown away by how much my hair moves in a day. It is an agony every time it does, yet it constantly does so. The swelling, pain and itchy rash have moved down from my scalp to cover my forehead and the left side of my face to my cheekbones.
Initially I thought I had hit my head hard enough to split the scalp and develop an infection, but I don’t believe that is what happened. It looks like more like I am having an autoimmune reaction to an injury.* I think the itchiness and the swelling are Koebner phenomenon where 11% – 75% (Way to narrow down the numbers, scientists!) of lucky psoriasis patients can develop symptoms that resemble psoriasis whenever their skin is injured (mosquito bites, tattoos, acne, etc). With the way I hurt myself, I can’t see this as being good news. Plus, symptoms can take anywhere from as little as 3 days to as much as 20 years to develop. Sure, that will be easy to keep track of. No problem.
In the meantime, the only way I can get through my days is with an ice bag on my head. I haven’t been able to sleep more than 3 hrs a night since this happened because the itching is so bad and it’s too painful to have my head touch a pillow.
I think what hurts the most is that my hair was finally starting to grow back. All the swelling from this trauma is likely to make it fall out again.
I really need to order a chemo hat.
*Funny since my doctor told me explicitly that I do not have an autoimmune disease.
You should have my fur instead. It is glorious!
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If you would like to see what Geordie and Toby do when they aren’t bringing me ducks, check out a copy of Dream Our World. Inside the boys explore the world of art from a canine perspective and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun.
Warm autumn evening- bee clouds swarm menacingly around the dumpster.
Don’t believe these drawings. I’ve been really nice to mommy lately.
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In some parts of the world, the weather is already starting to cool. Be prepared for those chilly nights with a warm, handmade quilt. This twin sized Patchwork Butterfly Quilt is hand appliqued, hand embroidered and hand quilted. (If you’d like, you can tell friends and family you made it yourself in your spare time during the lock down!)
When I was diagnosed with psoriasis, I never thought of all the places it could show up. Finding out psoriasis can hide where no one can see seemed like a particularly awful fate. Thank heavens this was only a run in with some angry ants.
If you wanted someone to bite your butt, you should have let me know.
Are you looking for a unique and personal gift for someone? Then consider a hand painted handkerchief! With summer allergies and sniffly viruses abounding, a reusable cotton hankie could save hundreds of paper tissues over its lifetime.
You would think that masks would have been my friends this past year, hiding my appearance from inquiring eyes. On the contrary. If you’ve ever wondered what that stuff feels like, it is like one of those horribly painful sunburns where even the softest silk feels like sandpaper against your skin – where simply moving is agony – where you absolutely positively do not want some smart aleck little brother to come along and slap you for the sheer enjoyment of your misery. Trying to wear a raspy mask over psoriasis is actually quite painful.
Despite how much this looks exactly like one of my drawings, it is actually borrowed from the internet.
Americans are very polite about something like this. Nobody pointed at me and shouted, “Eww, that’s grody to the max!” In fact, they said nothing. If I brought up my appearance, though, they would jump in with tons of questions and healthy curiosity. Speaking as the resident weirdo, insults aren’t nice, but saying “Hey, what happened?” is perfectly fine. It’s OK to ask questions. The elephant in the room knows it’s there.
Getting to wear my unique gift from God on my face has made things harder when it comes to business. It is difficult to approach people with confidence and try to introduce them to my work. It is also more difficult to get a service sector job where you are the face of a business. While no one will admit that “fugly” is the reason for not hiring you, you will simply find that someone else always gets the job.
Have I tried medical care for dealing with this condition? Yes. The doctor charged me $300 for a 5 min consultation. Her advice? Hydrocortisone. Mmm hmm…Yup, I am definitely in the wrong line of work.
At least Real Life Toby doesn’t care about how I look.
Mom, mostly I look at you from this angle, and all I see is up your broken nose.
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Royal Purple Velvet Pillows are now back in stock! These 10″ pillows would make a wonderful gift for the whimsical child in your life – or the whimsical child inside yourself! Each pillow is trimmed with gold braid and has a silky tassel at each corner. The center is secured by two matching fabric buttons which give the pillow a pleasingly plump look.
The Adventures of Bitey Dog 