The Trash Man Cometh Not

Cairn terrier turns his head away from the camera.

Phew!  I am turning my head away from that smell.

It seems that every day there is another story on the news about bear sightings.  At the close of each one, the helpful reporter reminds people not to leave food outdoors and to keep their trash cans secured.

Last year a new sanitation company put in a bid to take over services for our area.   The municipality declared that all residents now must use this particular company.  They provide recycling and trash collection for a good price, so it seemed like a win/win situation….except for holidays as it turns out.

For some reason, this company cannot keep to its schedule if there is a holiday.  If they know they cannot pick up on trash day during a holiday week, you would think they would notify everyone of a policy of putting their cans out X number of days later.  Instead we have tons of cans and trash bags sitting on the curb for four to five days until the collection company comes around. It was over 90 degrees last week.  You can imagine how ripe that smell must be for animals with acute senses of smell.

In the mornings now, I am worried about walking my dogs.  I don’t know if I am going to find a bear going through the trash or coyotes or raccoons or any one of a number of other dangerous animals.

Notice I didn’t name any names or call anyone out.  I don’t want to find a horse’s head in my bed.  However, if you run a sanitation company, please set a schedule and keep to it.  It will keep everyone safer including your employees.

Toby Saves the Day

 

Drawing of stinky socks surrounded by flies.

Meet teeny, tiny Toby,

His toots more lethal than old socks!

And if you ever smelled them,

You’d be a pine-y box.

wooden coffin with cross on it

All of the folks around him

Looked upon his toots with fear.

On more than one occasion,

They’d been known to kill a deer.

Two deer dying of stink fumes from Toby's toots.

Then one sunny afternoon

Recruiters came to ask:

“Toby with your toots so rank,

Won’t you come augment our tanks?”

Army recruiter asks Toby to join the cause.

Toby stands atop a tank, tail pointed toward the enemy.

Then how the nation loved him

As they sang and did a dance.

You, teeny tiny Toby

You have lethal flatulence!

Toby surfs on a grateful crowd after his farts save the day.

The itty bitty monster was living up to his reputation again this week….

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