Funny

Those Dreaded “T” Words

Picture of a tick, a check mark and a watch

After a walk through a field with Toby, I checked my puppy to make sure he had no fur hitchhikers.  That afternoon, just to be safe, I checked him again.  In case there might be any late biters, that evening I checked him again.

I have to say that by the end of the day, he was really ticked with me.

Don't worry, Mom. I'll help.

For heaven’s sake, quit using me as a prop in your lame stories.

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Toby, like most pets, is loving this lock down….his grandparents, not so much.  So far, they have had their water filter break, the microwave break and a drain back up.

On top of these things, they are seriously not liking the new mask rules.  My Mom is severely claustrophobic and won’t go anywhere they are required.  Both of my parents are hard of hearing (age related).  Not only are they having trouble hearing people, they can’t lip read with everyone’s faces covered.

What a strange world we find ourselves in.

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Do you need a birthday present for someone but can’t get out to shop?  Then send your special someone a copy of Dream Our World!

Dream Our World is filled with sweet puppies, historical art references and is peppered with liberal amounts of humor.

Cover of the book Dream Our World

Dream Our World is available from Amazon.

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Toy of the Gods

For our friends who are unfamiliar with the joys of toilet paper:

Roll of toilet paper

Mommy forgot to shut

The bathroom door

Where the roll of TP

Hangs so close to the floor.

 

Sketch of dog wrapped in toilet paper.When from over my shoulder

Comes a loud, angry roar,

“Don’t touch that, you beast!

I don’t have any more!”

Sketch of woman running

So I snatch up the end

And away I do soar..

So pleased with my game,

I am thrilled to the core!

 

TP Mummy - Copy (2)

Leaping and bounding

And twisting with glee

I watch as my human

Can’t catch up with me.

I roll till I’m wrapped

like an ancient mummy.

It’s a gift from the gods

This roll of TP!

TP No

 

TP Mummy - Copy

 

 

 

 

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Join the pups in more insanity in Dream Our World!  In it, Bitey and Toby visit the museum of their dreams.  Come with them as they  in view the world of art from a canine perspective all while enjoying a day of unsupervised fun.

Cover of the book Dream Our World

Dream Our World is available from Amazon.

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Hockey

Puppy dressed as ferocious hockey player.

Wow, you're pretty good at blocking thos tennis balls. When I grow up, I want to bMario Lemieux!

Bu Mario Lemieux isn't a goalie. Then I wanna be Wayne Gretzky!

Gretzky isn't a goalie either. Geez, where have you been learning about hockey? Mommy!!

I have never had a pup that I could teach to play Fetch.  I have tried over and over using instructions in dog-training guides to no avail.  The closest I have come is Toby who likes to catch the balls and line them up in front of himself.

It’s a good thing Mommy enjoys all that lower back pain from picking up hundreds of tennis balls a day.  Oh wait, no I don’t.  Then I guess it is a good thing I love my puppy.

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Today I am on Day 25 of my eye exercises.  I feel like the lady in the Peleton commercial who posts her exercise routine in order to hold herself accountable.  So far, I am still liking what I am doing!  This past week I have been able to see a few things that I haven’t in a very long time.  I was able to read house numbers from more than a yard (house-yard, not 3 feet) away.  I could also read a street sign from at least 20′ away.  I am not able to hold focus for long, but even that is building.  A friend asked if I would like to go to my eye doctor some day and show off that I don’t need glasses anymore.  Not really.  What I would like to do is go to the DMV and have the restriction removed from my license.  Ha!  Take that, state government.

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This week I also mailed off a copy of Dream Our World to another museum, hoping that they may be interested in selling it in their gift shop.  Toby has promised to keep his paws crossed that the manager likes  his work.

Cover of the book Dream Our World

Toby innocently stands there, wondering what mommy is looking at.

How could they  not like it?  I’m adorable.

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By the way, is anyone else having trouble with WordPress?  I am having problems with the photo uploader and viewing previews of my posts.  Even viewing others’ posts is hit or miss.  It takes all the fun out of coming here to post.

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Toby’s New Hero

 

Sketch of Eric Swalwell and the infamous cup.

Happy Toby flashes peace signs.

Toby flashes peace signs as he stands in front of Eric Swalwell and the infamous coffee cup.

Toby and Eric Swalwell say:

“Don’t own up; blame the cup!”

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Cover of the book Dream Our World

For some non-tooting adventures my boys have been on, pick up a copy of Dream Our World.  Inside, Bitey and Toby visit the museum of their dreams where they view the world of art from a canine perspective and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun.

Dream Our World is available from Amazon.

 

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I Have Exciting News!

Happy Cairn terrier pup

Hello friends!

I have some big news. I found out about a really exciting opportunity. It was so wonderful that I selfishly kept the news to myself so that I wouldn’t end up competing with friends for this spot. There were lots of tests and counseling and even boring essays to write, and after everything…I was the one who was chosen!  I will be doing a really important externship. The only catch is that I had to move in order to take the position. In fact, I already started my new job last Monday.

Before I left, an orange butterfly came to tell me that I was accepted. A few minutes after I left, I came back as another orange butterfly to show Mom and Gma and Gpa that I was OK and liked my new job. The next day, I borrowed a robin body to come back for another visit, but I misjudged and flew into the door and killed myself. Sheesh. What a week I am having.

On Friday I tried visiting again, but it was only in the 30’s outside.  Butterfly bodies won’t work in those temps, but there was a boring, practical house fly body that would work.  So, I popped into the house and decided to grab a quick sandwich before delivering my message when – whack!  Yes, it has been quite a week.

When I arrived on the Other Side, it was as if I had just scored the winning touchdown.  There were so many gathered around to congratulate me and welcome me.  There were high fives and back pats and plenty of tail sniffs.  It felt good to be home.

The title for my new job is the curator of the MOH (Museum of Heaven).  Seeing as it is a museum for dogs, I believe the first room I will fill will be the Hall of Poo.  All the most creative piles throughout history will be gathered under one roof.  Oh, and instead of a Comment Wall, we will have a Marking Wall.  Go ahead.  Mark away.  Everyone will love to sniff your tidings.

Please don’t feel sad, friends.  I am happier than I have ever been. (If you want to though, you can make fun of Toby. I know I will.)

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No Dignity When It’s Hot

Cairn terrier sleeping upside down in undignified pose.

I have seen pictures of “cat thermometers” where the more the kitty is stretched out, the hotter the temperature.  If you have a pup, the more absurd the sleeping position, the hotter it is.  As you can see, we clearly were having unreasonably warm weather this day.

The mercury in the window thermometer reached over 120 in the sun.  It is rare even in August for that to happen.

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