Pumpkin Beard

Avast Maties! It is I, the Great Pumpkin Beard!
Oh no! Ants!!
You wouldn't hae this problem if you didn't fight me so hard about washing your face. But I was saving this for later!

Based on actual events.

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On Wednesday mom had to turn the compost. She let me in the garden with her but told me not to pee on the cabbages. I didn’t. I was a good boy. Instead I peed on my leash. Then while she tried to grab a non-peey part of my leash, I ran over and stuck my head in compost juice. (Her mix is too green and not enough brown so it smells very, very nasty…just the way we puppies like it.)

This day was so perfect! Nothing could possibly spoil it.

Oh, wait. Something can.

Cairn terrier stands over slain toy

I told you stories about me were more interesting!

Cover of the book Dream Our World

Come and read more stories about my boys’ adventures in Dream Our World. Inside my two little monsters view the world of art from a canine perspective and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun.

Dream Our World is available from my shop and from Amazon.

The New Mug

Bonk!
World's Worst Mom

Don’t worry. Toby is fine. He doesn’t have to go to the vet; I do.

Cairn terrier looks up at the camera.

I don’t need the vet. I’m perfect.

I thought I had a handle on my eye problems, but on Monday my eye swelled up like a Greg Nicotero creation. When Friday came along and I still wasn’t feeling well, I decided to call the doctor. We’ll find out on Monday if I can go back to being me or if I have to move to Georgia to work as an extra on The Walking Dead.

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If you are in or might be visiting New York City, don’t forget to stop by The Museum of the Dog! Help to rebuild NYC while celebrating humankind’s best friend. If you can’t go in person, consider buying a gift from the museum’s gift shop.

Curious what pups might do in a museum geared for dogs? Then pick up a copy of Dream Our World.

Cover of the book Dream Our World

Dream Our World is fun for all ages. It is available from my shop and from Amazon.

Chia Pet

What's that, Geordie? Did you get a chia pet? No, Toby rolled in the grass after his bath.

I think the grass was extremely happy that Toby did that.  It was the most moisture it had experienced in months.

When I went to wash Toby’s behind in the tub, he howled.  Ha!  I wonder what was up with that?

Little Cairn terrier.

What do you think was up?  Nothing but my girlfriend’s nose is supposed to go there!!

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Come with my boys on a visit to the Museum of the Imagination in Dream Our World.  There you can experience the world of art from a canine perspective and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun!

Cover of the book Dream Our World

Dream Our World is available from my shop and from Amazon.

 

Bedtime: Not As Much Fun As It Used To Be

The prolonged heat of this summer has left me with another case of eyes so swollen and sore that I can barely see. Having the air of fans or AC blowing across them – even while I sleep – has caused a serious enough situation that I needed to take action.

Oh no! Mommy is being kidnapped! No, I am just covering my eyes to help keep them protected from the fan while I sleep. Hey, someone help me to bed, will ya?

I tried a bandana, but that didn’t work.

Not my image

If your eyes are bad enough, there are sleep goggles to keep your eyes hydrated at night.  They also make you look a bit like Carrie-Anne Moss in The Matrix.  The catch?  They are around $60+ shipping, and they only last a few months.

 

The blindfold didn't work, but I read that wrapping your eyes with plastic wrap might keep them protected during the night. Could one of you help me to bed? Hey, you're covering the wrong part of your face.

As an alternative, I found someone’s more economical suggestion of using clingy plastic wrap to cover your eyes.  I don’t have plastic wrap, so I borrowed some for  my nocturnal experiment.  That night I put a big blob of what amounts to ophthalmic petroleum jelly in my eyes, wrapped them up and tried to sleep.

The plastic wrap was hot and crackly, but it did clue in to something I hadn’t known before.  I had never realized that I open my eyes even before I fall asleep.  The plastic crackled every time I did, and I would force myself to close them again.  Sadly, the gel and the plastic wrap still did not solve my problem.

I think I've got it this time. Now I am using tape to keep my eyes clsoed! Boys? cCould someone help me to bed?

Yup, the next step was taping my eyes closed.

I am one of those lucky individuals who has a negative reaction to the adhesive on surgical tape and Band Aids.  This led me on a hunt for hypoallergenic tape that wouldn’t cause my eyes to swell shut.  (Although that probably would have solved my problem.)

Interestingly, while searching to tape, I found out that the latest fad is “mouth taping”.  Seriously.  It promotes breathing through your nose while you sleep, and it is supposed to cause you to sleep more deeply and wake more refreshed.  Imagine all those logopthalmic mouth breathers all taped up like mummies at night!

I still haven’t discovered a proper solution to my problem, but I’ve found that using tape and plastic wrap over my eyes gives the most comfortable results.  (My mom cringed when I told her that.  “Comfortable?” she asked.   Oddly enough, yes.)

hello, Canine Protective Services? HELP!!!

Toby innocently stands there, wondering what mommy is looking at.

Isn’t there someone out there who would like to adopt a little terrier? I am a good boy, and I don’t bark too much.  Please?

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Oil painting of Westie puppy.Oil painting of Westie puppy.

Capture memories of your own furry companion with a pet portrait from L Bowman Studios.  Pet portraits make great gifts for birthdays or Christmas.  You can also order one as a loving tribute for a friend or family member who has lost someone dear to them.

Information about sizes and pricing are available at my website:  L Bowman Studios.

 

 

 

 

Contemplate

I ate my dinner off a contemplate last night. What did you think of it? Ba-dum-bum.

The grip on sanity around here is loose these days.

IMG_0259 - Copy

Am I really stuck in the house with

this crazy woman all summer?

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There is still time to order pet portraits for the holidays.  What a beautiful way to keep memories of the ones you love around you forever.

Oil painting of Westie puppy.

Oil painting of Westie puppy.

Visit my website L Bowman Studios for more information about placing an order and pricing.

 

Come On Guys, Let’s Go!

Come on, guys! Let's go!

 

Ugh, why do we have to suffer whenever she overindulges?

Come on Toby.  Let’s be fair.  The real reason you are being taken on three walks a day is because you chewed up my book, ate a note pad, tipped over the trash can, climbed up on the bed and stole a hankie, ran through the house with my underwear…do I need to go on?

Bored terrier lies next to his tennis ball.

No, I know.

After my scale-crunching last post, I have been cutting back on portions and walking more (all the things panicked chubby humans do).  Today I checked, and I found that I had lost -4 pounds.

I guess with everything else in the world being upside down, I shouldn’t be surprised that the laws of physics are too.

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Escape your claustrophobic world with a fanciful adventure to visit the Museum of the Imagination in Dream Our World.  Inside, Bitey and Toby enjoy a day of unsupervised fun while viewing  art from a canine perspective.

Cover of the book Dream Our World

Dream Our World is available from Amazon.

 

 

 

How Did This Happen?

Oh dear, how did this happen?

Nom, nom, nom. Woman wolfs down large plate of food.

Oh yeah. Total mystery, that one.

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Cairn terrier puppy hold his food bowl.

I’m tellin’ you Ma, if you would give more to me,

you wouldn’t weigh as much.

Sadly, I have been having trouble buttoning my clothes lately.  If I were to want new clothes, though, they are considered “unessential”, so I can’t go to the store to try on and buy new.  That leaves me with few options…

.And just like that, Edith didn't have to worry about social distancing.(Not my image.)  (Tastefullyedited for my audience.)

 

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To keep IRL Toby in biscuits and kibble, consider purchasing many copies of Dream Our World the next time you need a gift for home-bound family of friends!

Cover of the book Dream Our World

Come with Bitey and Toby as they tour the Museum of the Imagination.  There they view the world of art from a canine perspective and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun.  (Of course it is unsupervised.  All the humans are forbidden to be out!)

Dream Our World is available from Amazon.

 

With Malice Aforethought

OK, I think I got it rihgt this year. It's a Friday in Lent, and I'm making fish.

Little dog asks: Don't those baked beans have meat in them?

Crap. Where are you going? To getmy hand basket.

…only this year, I did it on purpose!  I had a chicken sandwich for lunch on a Friday.  Mwahaha.

At least I know what kind of clothes to pack for my trip.

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Puppies don’t need to worry about such nonsense.  To find out why, click  Puppies in my Ford.

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If you haven’t had  chance yet, you can still pick up a copy of Dream Our World.  Inside, Bitey and Toby tour the Museum of the Imagination and view the world of art from a canine perspective.  I had a fun time recreating famous works of art looking through my boys’ eyes.  The museum itself is made of different features from  our neighborhood.

Cover of the book Dream Our WorldThis  a really cute book and would make a great introduction to art for any little ones in your life.  (And it might keep the kids busy if they are home from school due to the virus.)

Dream Our World is available from Amazon.

 

 

Toby Demonstrates His Grasp of English

Whee! Little dog illustrates Presents of Mind

Whee!

Get out of there!

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Hey, you're drawing a picture of me. That's soporific!

I'm pretty sure that word doesn't mean what you think it means.

Let me give you an example: Your incessant story telling can be positively soporific!

Soporific = So = Perfect + Terrific! I knew I was right!

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Come have fun with my little monsters at the Museum of the Imagination.  In Dream Our World, Bitey and Toby look at the world of art from a canine perspective and enjoy commenting on all the pieces.

Cover of the book Dream Our World

Dream Our World is available from Amazon – and soon from a museum!