For a while I have felt guilty calling Toby “Bitey Dog” when it was really his brother’s moniker, but Toby finally put forth the effort to make it his.

Dogs do so well at hiding their feelings sometimes that you can miss their signs of pain.

On Friday I leaned over to ask if I could help Toby reach the treat that he had pushed behind he furniture, and he exploded in a furious attack. Twenty four pounds of muscle and anger (and teeth. Let’s not forget the teeth) launched themselves straight for my face. This was so out of character for my pup that I was completely caught off guard.

I managed to get him into his kennel so I could assess the situation. He immediately fell asleep. I ended up with puncture wounds on my cheek, lip and nose. Also, my top lip had been ripped apart like a rabbit’s. Gross. Trust me, the look is only cute on bunnies.

Tuesday was the earliest I could schedule an appointment with Toby’s vet, and she told me that he “did not mince words” when she tried to examine his left knee. Also, he somehow managed to gain 2 pounds in 6 months. Oops. Looks like the shutdown got to him too.

The combination of extra weight and already wonky knees left my boy in incredible pain. Me getting near his treat on Friday sent him over the edge. I didn’t know that, though, and spent the weekend afraid of my dog. Now I feel guilty that my little boy needed comfort and understanding, and I kept him at several arms’ length.

Toby got sent home from the vet with pain medication and guidelines for a strict diet. By this afternoon he was feeling so much better that he was driving me nuts. He is evidently hungry too because he keeps stealing my things in order to trade them for food. I can tell that the next two pounds are going to be really tough on both of us.

As for me, I am hoping to be able to drink from a glass again someday. For now I have to use the ultra-super-mega Verboten drinking straws. (I wouldn’t be surprised it Greta Thunberg comes ’round at night and beats me up.) For some reason I don’t bruise purple, I turn yellow/green. It looks I have smeared mustard all over my face where Toby hit me.

Despite the unpleasantness, I am glad that I finally understand Toby’s pain and was able to get him help. If we’re lucky, the medication and the weight loss might help him to feel good for a long time to come.

Go away. I don’t feel good.

(Don’t you mean “well”?)

(Do you want to get bitten again?!?)

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