Nightmares and Dreamwalkers

Wednesday night was not a good night.

Figuring out what has been going on with Toby has turned out to be a painful adventure. For months, my otherwise happy puppy has been attacking me. Every resource I encountered mentioned checking the dog’s thyroid levels because low thyroid in dogs can lead to erratic behaviors. I had Toby checked; no low thyroid.

During the attacks, it were as if Toby were asleep. Sometimes he would “wake up” in the middle and looked confused or embarrassed about what was going on.

I think I may have finally figured out what is happening with Toby: Sleep Startle Reflex. Older dogs, deaf dogs – and for some reason greyhounds – tend to have this most often, but any dog can. Basically it is an old survival instinct where if anything – any little thing – happens near the sleeping dog it will attack instantly without even waking up. I don’t even need to touch Toby but make a noise near him and he will come running to growl at and bite me.

What made the condition even harder to pinpoint was that the attacks only happened in the evening or at night not during the day even though Toby sleeps at all of those times. Turns out that the SSR is only triggered during REM sleep. In the afternoons, Toby is merely napping, so he doesn’t dream then.

It felt good to find out that nothing is really “wrong” with my boy; he is just a sleepwalker…..er, sleep attacker. Experts recommend not punishing or yelling at your dog because he is unaware of what he is doing. To him, he just wakes up and everyone is mad at him. It is recommended that you put your furry attacker in a quiet room at night and block it off so that no one disturbs him. Little Toby’s heart has been breaking because I have been having him sleep in his kennel and not in the laundry. I feel awful that he can’t sleep in the bedroom with me, but this room is so small I can’t fit his kennel inside.

Maybe this will be incentive to get rid of some stuff so my puppy can toot contentedly beside me in his sleep.

I hate this kennel. I wanna come back and sleep in the laundry.

Dirty laundry – the bed of the gods.

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Come see what Bitey and Super Sleep-Bitey (otherwise known as Toby) have been up to, pick up a copy of Bitey Dog and Toby in Dream Our World! Inside the boys view the world of art from a canine perspective and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun.

Dream Our World is available from my shop.

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Muffins & Pears

But mom, everyone loves muffin tops! Remember that episode of Seinfeld?

Jeez, just how much weight did you put on? That's the thing...I didn't gain any!

Ha! Father Time’s a bitch, ain’t he?

Real Life Toby is smug that he can eat anything and still look cute. Real Life Mommy is grumpy that she is most likely going to have to hand even more money over to Walmart in exchange for a pair of pants. Or a muumuu.

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This is the season for so many happy occasions! Whether a graduation or a birthday or an anniversary, your gift will make a real impression when presented in this reusable Gift Presentation Bag. After your gift has been given, it can be used to present yet another gift, or it can be used as a handy tote.

Zodiac Gift Presentation Bag (and others) can be found in my shop.

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Persistent or Pathetic

For months, I have been applying for a position as a Pet Portrait Artist with a company that let’s just say rhymes with “Schmooey”. Every week or so I send another letter along with samples of my work and links to my website. Every week I get absolutely no reply. This isn’t the only place ghosting me. If someone doesn’t like my work, that’s fine, but I hate to waste my time and theirs with a bunch of unwanted letters.

Gma nags me to keep contacting these places, but I wonder where does the line fall between “persistent” and “pathetic”? How many tries does it take before I get the hint?

Don’t kid yourself mom. You’re always pathetic.

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It Only Looks Good on Bunnies

Do you think anyone will be able to tell? Hmm, on top of the droopy face, the red eyes, the bald patches, the bum knee... Nah, you're good. I'M SO ANGRY!!

For a while I have felt guilty calling Toby “Bitey Dog” when it was really his brother’s moniker, but Toby finally put forth the effort to make it his.

Dogs do so well at hiding their feelings sometimes that you can miss their signs of pain.

On Friday I leaned over to ask if I could help Toby reach the treat that he had pushed behind he furniture, and he exploded in a furious attack. Twenty four pounds of muscle and anger (and teeth. Let’s not forget the teeth) launched themselves straight for my face. This was so out of character for my pup that I was completely caught off guard.

I managed to get him into his kennel so I could assess the situation. He immediately fell asleep. I ended up with puncture wounds on my cheek, lip and nose. Also, my top lip had been ripped apart like a rabbit’s. Gross. Trust me, the look is only cute on bunnies.

Tuesday was the earliest I could schedule an appointment with Toby’s vet, and she told me that he “did not mince words” when she tried to examine his left knee. Also, he somehow managed to gain 2 pounds in 6 months. Oops. Looks like the shutdown got to him too.

The combination of extra weight and already wonky knees left my boy in incredible pain. Me getting near his treat on Friday sent him over the edge. I didn’t know that, though, and spent the weekend afraid of my dog. Now I feel guilty that my little boy needed comfort and understanding, and I kept him at several arms’ length.

Toby got sent home from the vet with pain medication and guidelines for a strict diet. By this afternoon he was feeling so much better that he was driving me nuts. He is evidently hungry too because he keeps stealing my things in order to trade them for food. I can tell that the next two pounds are going to be really tough on both of us.

As for me, I am hoping to be able to drink from a glass again someday. For now I have to use the ultra-super-mega Verboten drinking straws. (I wouldn’t be surprised it Greta Thunberg comes ’round at night and beats me up.) For some reason I don’t bruise purple, I turn yellow/green. It looks I have smeared mustard all over my face where Toby hit me.

Despite the unpleasantness, I am glad that I finally understand Toby’s pain and was able to get him help. If we’re lucky, the medication and the weight loss might help him to feel good for a long time to come.

Go away. I don’t feel good.

(Don’t you mean “well”?)

(Do you want to get bitten again?!?)

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Were you among the lucky who got chilly weather this week? If so, you know the value of a warm, cozy quilt.

This patchwork Butterfly Quilt can bring a touch of whimsy to your home. Whether resting on the back of the sofa or decorating the guest bedroom, the colorful handmade quilt will be a treasure for years to come.

Butterfly Quilt is available from my shop.

(Yes, I can do international shipping. Just let me know your country, and I can calculate the shipping cost.)

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We Desperately Need Donations (But Not From You)

Over the summer, I tried to keep busy by crocheting blankets to donate to the church when they collect baby gifts in the fall. Unfortunately crocheting and knitting really mess with my Bell’s Palsy, but I pushed through finishing as many blankets as I could to welcome new life.

On Saturday I took my donations to the church to place in the collection cradle. As I set them down, a lady walked over to me and suggested that I might want to put my name and number with the blankets because she didn’t know if they would be accepted, you know, because of covid. Try as I might, I couldn’t figure out how a malt in a yarn covered sweater had anything to do with baby blankets. I looked down at the very, very few donations in the cradle and wondered if the family dropping off the bag of diapers got a similar warning. Somehow I doubt it.

As I picked my blankets up to take with me, the lady tried to herd me back to the cradle, saying that I could put them back in. (Mind you, everyone at this church is scared witless by covid yet the woman stood mere inches from me.) I told her no thank you: I knew of other groups that would welcome my gift and walked out.

Within hours, a different church gladly accepted my donation. They are experiencing a lock down baby boom and need lots of gifts to help welcome new members. Thank heavens the Protestants ’round here aren’t too scared to live.

I told you you should have spent that time doting on me and not messing with that stupid yarn!

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This time of year, the nights become chilly. Make sure you or someone you care about is wrapped in both beauty and love with this hand stitched Rose Afghan.

For more details, click here. Rose Afghan is available from my shop.

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The New Mug

Don’t worry. Toby is fine. He doesn’t have to go to the vet; I do.

I don’t need the vet. I’m perfect.

I thought I had a handle on my eye problems, but on Monday my eye swelled up like a Greg Nicotero creation. When Friday came along and I still wasn’t feeling well, I decided to call the doctor. We’ll find out on Monday if I can go back to being me or if I have to move to Georgia to work as an extra on The Walking Dead.

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If you are in or might be visiting New York City, don’t forget to stop by The Museum of the Dog! Help to rebuild NYC while celebrating humankind’s best friend. If you can’t go in person, consider buying a gift from the museum’s gift shop.

Curious what pups might do in a museum geared for dogs? Then pick up a copy of Dream Our World.

Dream Our World is fun for all ages. It is available from my shop and from Amazon.

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Bagpipes

Drawing of man playing bagpipes

Hronk! Hwee! Would you guys like some Benedryl?

I wasn’t sure I would ever be able to post this story. I drew it several years ago when Geordie was hronking and Toby was reverse sneezing. They made such a cacophony together! I figured it was allergies and gave them some medicine so they could rest.

Not long after, I found out that lung cancer was the real reason behind Geordie’s funny noises. I felt awful that I made fun of my poor puppy when he was seriously sick.

Geordie assuaged my guilt somewhat by living far beyond what the vet predicted. When he finally left, he went on his own terms – old age. He never did succumb to the cancer.

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Oil painting of Westie puppy.

Capture a memory of your own amazing furbeast with a pet portrait from L Bowman Studios. Visit my site for more information on sizes and pricing.

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A Brush with Eww

See the source image

Years ago, I worked for a company doing repairs. One day, a hugely wealthy client called for a repair job at his mansion. (The residence was referred to as The Compound) I refused to go unless I had an escort. The company did not want to pay two employees to make one service call, so the work ended up being done at the business, not the mansion. Over the years I would occasionally think about that incident and wonder what I may have missed by not going into such an expensive home.

Last week, I watched a “Who Killed Jeffery Epstein” special to catch up on what had been going on since I hadn’t been keeping up with current events. I hadn’t realized that one of Epstein’s good buddies was Les Wexner – the owner of the mansion where my repair job was supposed to be done. What was even creepier was that according to the program, this would have been right during the time period where Wexner’s residences were used by Epstein to lure and abuse young women.

Part of the job I did for the Wexner estate was making throw pillows for couches. Now I wonder what atrocities those poor pillows may have witnessed….or participated in. Ick.

Ew, just thinking about that makes me yark.

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If you would like to meet some throw pillows that have not been used in a scandalous fashion, please check out my store at L Bowman Studios. These Royal Velvet Pillows can be used as accents on furniture or for grandchildrens’ fantasy play or even as a touch of whimsy in your own home.

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We Desperately Need Help! (But Not From You)

Mommy is drawn inside of the Ghost Buster symbol

My county was so desperate for poll workers that they put out appeals on the news and on Facebook. Civic minded me thought that I would volunteer. After talking to a representative from the Board of Elections, I found out that the job is a 14 hour shift. No wonder they are having trouble finding people able to work. There is no way I could put in a day that long.

It is disappointing how many things I am unqualified to do.

Go away. I'm sleeping.

How about napping for 14 hours?

I bet you could do that.

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My boys are still running amok, unsupervised, in the local museum. Are there any museums open right now? Ours show no signs of it.

If you would like to experience The Museum of the Imagination, pick up a copy of Dream Our World!

Dream Our World is available from Amazon.

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We Need Heroes (But Not You)

Mommy is drawn inside of the Ghost Buster symbol

When this virus first arrived, the news was filled with horror stories of shortages. It saddened me to read of so much need and know there was nothing I could do. But wait. The Red Cross needed blood. Surely I could at least donate blood!

Off I trekked to the Red Cross website to find the nearest donation location only to find that I do not qualify. Despite being lumpy and chubby, I do not meet their weight criteria. (I am not underweight, I am just very short.) Even in this time of crisis, my gift is unwanted.

Bad girl. No cookie.

Who, me? I wouldn't pee on the sunflowers.

Did someone mention cookies?

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To make sure my puppy remains happily plump enough to escape the Puppy Traffickers as well as donate blood…order a copy of Dream Our World!

In Dream Our World, Bitey and Toby visit the Museum of the Imagination where they insert themselves into the artwork. Plus, they get to enjoy a day of unsupervised fun because all the humans are banned from public spaces.

Dream Our World would make a great gift for someone stuck at home!