Be Careful When You Sleep

Whoa, what happened to you? I'm afraid of the clippers, so Mom keeps sneaking up on me with scissors when I'm sleeping.

(My Mom calls him “Toby of the Butt Tuft.”)

Untrimmed Cairn Terrier

Before

Neatly trimmed Cairn terrier

After

Eventually things get evened out.

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To have more fun at my boys’ expense, pick up a copy of Dream Our World.  Inside, you will get to see the world of art through the eyes of my two pups.

Cover of the book Dream Our World

This would be a great book to have on hand if the grand kids are off school yet you need to keep them entertained as well as educated.  Famous works are recreated and reinterpreted in various mediums all while injecting a touch of humor into each piece or artwork.

Dream Our World is available from Amazon.

 

 

With Malice Aforethought

OK, I think I got it rihgt this year. It's a Friday in Lent, and I'm making fish.

Little dog asks: Don't those baked beans have meat in them?

Crap. Where are you going? To getmy hand basket.

…only this year, I did it on purpose!  I had a chicken sandwich for lunch on a Friday.  Mwahaha.

At least I know what kind of clothes to pack for my trip.

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Puppies don’t need to worry about such nonsense.  To find out why, click  Puppies in my Ford.

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If you haven’t had  chance yet, you can still pick up a copy of Dream Our World.  Inside, Bitey and Toby tour the Museum of the Imagination and view the world of art from a canine perspective.  I had a fun time recreating famous works of art looking through my boys’ eyes.  The museum itself is made of different features from  our neighborhood.

Cover of the book Dream Our WorldThis  a really cute book and would make a great introduction to art for any little ones in your life.  (And it might keep the kids busy if they are home from school due to the virus.)

Dream Our World is available from Amazon.

 

 

Toy of the Gods

For our friends who are unfamiliar with the joys of toilet paper:

Roll of toilet paper

Mommy forgot to shut

The bathroom door

Where the roll of TP

Hangs so close to the floor.

 

Sketch of dog wrapped in toilet paper.When from over my shoulder

Comes a loud, angry roar,

“Don’t touch that, you beast!

I don’t have any more!”

Sketch of woman running

So I snatch up the end

And away I do soar..

So pleased with my game,

I am thrilled to the core!

 

TP Mummy - Copy (2)

Leaping and bounding

And twisting with glee

I watch as my human

Can’t catch up with me.

I roll till I’m wrapped

like an ancient mummy.

It’s a gift from the gods

This roll of TP!

TP No

 

TP Mummy - Copy

 

 

 

 

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Join the pups in more insanity in Dream Our World!  In it, Bitey and Toby visit the museum of their dreams.  Come with them as they  in view the world of art from a canine perspective all while enjoying a day of unsupervised fun.

Cover of the book Dream Our World

Dream Our World is available from Amazon.

Everyone’s a Critic

 

Suspicious shredder with ears and a tail handle.

Little Cairn Terrier chews a piece of paper.

Dog-chewed sketch paper

sketch of cartoon puppies

People laugh at me for leaving things in my trash can because I know Toby is going to climb in and make a mess.  The problem is that if I don’t leave anything in there, he will go after something I care about.  Last night he decided that my trash can wasn’t interesting enough and chewed up a sketch book.

Toby innocently stands there, wondering what mommy is looking at.

OK, so maybe I chewed up some papers , but I definitely wouldn’t put a baby sister in a box.

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To enjoy more of my boys’ naughty antics, pick up a copy of PoopiterPoopiter follows my illustrated boys during their first year together.

Cover of the book Poopiter

Poopiter is available from Amazon.

 

Schroedinger and Dirty Hankies

Black and white cat sitting in box

Earlier this year business was slow.  As soon as I got sick, though, all sorts of requests started pouring in.  It has left me with mixed feelings about colds.  Sure they hurt like heck and my dreams turn weird, but it does allow me to buy more biscuits for my stinky Toby.

Toby is totally behind the idea of me getting sick.  Turns out he is particularly fond of dirty hankies.  Toby was inspired by my last post to want to chase a little sister around with gross hankerchiefs, so when I had a dream of him getting an itty bitty Westie sister he was all on board.Arf! Arf! Arf!

He claims he won’t put his little sister in a box with dirty hankies as a science experiment, but I see no reason to trust him.

Sad Cairn terrier looks out of door.

Aw, Ma, how can you say you don’t trust this face?

(Where did you put that latest box from Amazon?)

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To help Toby get even more biscuits, pick up a copy of Dream Our World

Cover of the book Dream Our World

In Dream Our World, Bitey and Toby go on an adventure to the Museum of the Imagination.  Fortunately, this museum is very welcoming.  No one hovers over your shoulder or yells at you for wanting to touch the artwork.  It is a fun place to go!

Inside, the pups view the world of art from a canine perspective and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun.

Dream Our World is available from Amazon.

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If you already have a copy of Dream Our World but would still like to help Toby eat too many biscuits, order a pet portrait form L. Bowman Studios.  (A sample of my work is above.)

Fever Dreams

I come upon a river of sandpaper and razor blades.

This water is no fun to drink.

Maybe if I lie on my other side, it will get better.

Hayricks with yellow circles.

(Not my picture.)

Take note of the hayricks!

The what?  Haystacks?

Hayricks!  Remember the Hayrick Protocol!

Gather the yellow circles.  See how they give you strength?   Grab them.  Stab them with the fork.

Yes, I guess I do feel better.

Green and red sneeze

Splat! Morning arrives with red and green, but no Christmas.  Soon, an entire laundry load of handkerchiefs.   This shouldn’t happen to a woman.  It is something teenage boys would enjoy – waving their gelatinous banners in arms held high while chasing little sisters around the house to hear them scream.

I raise my arm and stare at it.  Crepey,..crepey…  When did this happen?  I can’t remember, but I keep staring.

Relax.  You don’t have to worry.  The cigarettes are legal now.

But cigarettes already were legal.

Relax!  Don’t you feel better now that they are legal?  The trunk of your car is filled with them.   You can rest.

Two nights slip by so softly and silently I am not aware of their coming or going.  It is bliss.

Cairn terrier sleeping in laundry

(Why does she get to cough, but I get yelled at for barking?)

Toby has stopped hiding my slippers and stealing my sandwiches.  Now he keeps vigil at the door, waiting to save me from the fever.

I didn’t get the present I wanted.  For my birthday,  I wanted a masseur to travel in time to this moment to fix my leg cramps.  I still hurt; I must not have gotten my wish.

Oh, and don’t forget the local dentist who spent $82,000 on two commercials only to generate a mere $2,400 in business.

Is that true?

Is any of this?

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Once again, this post is based on actual events.

I’ve been ill for nearly three weeks, and I am sick and tired (ha ha)  of this stupid virus.  For the first two weeks, Toby was an ornery little devil who caused a lot of mischief because it was fun.  By week three when the fevers started, he sensed something was different.  Now he sticks close to me and gets concerned if a coughing fit is too strong.  It is really nice to have someone who cares.  Geordie just used to yell at me when I got sick.  Ha!  Such a different fellow!

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To visit a dream world that is a lot more fun than the ones where I have been recently, pick up a copy of Dream Our World.  Inside, Bitey and Toby visit the Museum of the Imagination.  There they envision themselves into the famous works of art and make commentary on each piece without saying a word.

Cover of the book Dream Our World

This book is difficult to do justice in its description  It really is a sweet and charming book with plenty of humor.  Readers from grade school age through folks in their 90s have all enjoyed visiting with the boys.

Dream Our World is available from Amazon.

 

 

 

Spinning…Spinning…

Sadly another “Based on actual events” post….

Diana Prince does a transformation spin to become Wonder Woman.Diana Prince does a quick transformation spin to become Wonder Woman.

Spin!  Spin!  Spin!Oh my gosh Toby, what were you doing, standing on a turntable? Pretending to be a tonado?!?

Whee! I'm Wonder Woman!

I have never seen anything like this in al the years I have been taking care of pups.   Normally the process is to spin, then poo.  Not Toby.  He decided to combine the two into a new art form.  A really messy, far-flung art form.  Thanks, Toby.  All that poo-hunting out in the snow was great for my cold.

 

 

Cairn terrier stands over slain toy

What can I say?  I used to be fartsy, now I am artsy!

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To learn even more ways that my boys are weird, pick up a copy of PoopiterPoopiter takes you through the boys’ first year together.

Cover of the book Poopiter

Poopiter is available from Amazon.

For a different kind of fun, come along with the boys to the Museum of the Imagination in Dream Our World!  Inside, the pups view the world of art from  a canine perspective all while enjoying a day of unsupervised fun.

Cover of the book Dream Our World

Dream Our World is available from Amazon.

 

 

 

 

Toby’s Gotcha Day

Happy Gotcha Day, Toby!

Toby: Gotcha Day? Geordie" Yes, the day you were adopted. Toby: I'm adopted? But I always thought i looked like Mom!

Poor Toby got cheated in the special day department.  His birthday falls near Christmas, and his Gotcha Day is on Valentine’s Day.   He ends up sharing his celebrations with other events instead of having a time all to himself.

Bored terrier lies next to his tennis ball.

  Sympathy gifts might help me feel better.  I like tennis balls, stuffies and treats. (I wouldn’t say no to a pot roast, either.)

Two Cairn terriers on a cold day

This is a picture of Toby arriving home for the first time.  You can see in Geordie’s body language, he is saying, “Please, Grandma, get me out of this!”

Cairn terrier adult and Cairn terrier puppy meeting on the first day.

Seriously.  What is that thing?  A hamster?!?

Cairn terrier puppy sleeping in kennel.

Can you find the teeny tiny puppy hidden in this picture?

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To learn more about Toby arrival on the scene plus their first year’s-worth of mischief, pick up a copy of Poopiter.

Cover of the book Poopiter

Poopiter is available from Amazon.

 

 

Toby’s Valentine’s Day Surprise

A Valentine's Day heart shaped box of colcolate rests next to a bottle of wine and a single red rose.

 

Toby, do you have something you want to tell me? No.

Toby sends a Happy Valentine’s Day wish to all those star-crossed lovers out there.  Don’t let what others say discourage you.  Follow your heart (no matter what the consequences)!

When push comes to shove,

you’ve gotta do what you love

even if it’s not a good idea! 

…to borrow a line from Futurama.

(A refresher on Toby’s ill-fated romance.)

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To learn more about Toby’s first love, pick up a copy of Poopiter.

Cover of the book Poopiter

Poopiter follows Bitey and Toby during their first year together.

Poopiter is available from Amazon.

 

 

My Dogs Are Barking

 

Ugh. My dogs are barking!

Huh?

No we're not.

In this picture is the only time today that Toby was NOT barking up a storm. Spring-like weather brought out all the pups for walks in the sunshine.  For Toby, it was too much, and he barked at full volume until he finally fell into a stupor.  Thank heavens for stupors.

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Well, last week Bitey and Toby made contact with yet another museum.  Yay.  I  haven’t been to this museum in a while, but it is beautiful.  It would be an honor to have Dream Our World stocked there.

Cover of the book Dream Our World

If you haven’t ordered a copy yet, Dream Our World is available at Amazon.  Inside, Bitey and Toby go an adventure at the Museum of the Imagination.  There they view the world of art from a canine perspective and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun.