Insanity Squirrel #1

I was going to do another Insanity Avoidance Kitty, but something in my head whispered, “Do a squirrel”, so I drew an Insanity Avoidance Squirrel. How is it working? Meh.

Photo of dog's chin.

Did somebody say “squirrel”???

I have to keep Toby away from both real squirrels and the picture. He will happily chew both.

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Handmade afghan with roses and bows.

Do you have a dear friend or family member for whom you need a gift? (Perhaps a belated, blame-it-on-the-Post-Office Mothers’ Day gift?) If so, consider giving your beloved this rose afghan! It was cross stitched and “bowed” by hand. Mine!

Your gift will help to support small business and keep Toby in the finery to which he has become accustomed.

Toby on a stack of cushions

Whoopie!

Finished dimensions of the afghan (including fringe): 58″ x 47″ / 147.5 cm x 119.5 cm.
Material: 100% cotton
To clean: Wash in cold or warm water, delicate cycle. Tumble dry low. No bleach.

The cost would be $65.00 + Shipping. If you are interested, you can contact me here or at my website L Bowman Studios.

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Come On Guys, Let’s Go!

Come on, guys! Let's go!

Ugh, why do we have to suffer whenever she overindulges?

Come on Toby. Let’s be fair. The real reason you are being taken on three walks a day is because you chewed up my book, ate a note pad, tipped over the trash can, climbed up on the bed and stole a hankie, ran through the house with my underwear…do I need to go on?

Bored terrier lies next to his tennis ball.

No, I know.

After my scale-crunching last post, I have been cutting back on portions and walking more (all the things panicked chubby humans do). Today I checked, and I found that I had lost -4 pounds.

I guess with everything else in the world being upside down, I shouldn’t be surprised that the laws of physics are too.

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Escape your claustrophobic world with a fanciful adventure to visit the Museum of the Imagination in Dream Our World. Inside, Bitey and Toby enjoy a day of unsupervised fun while viewing art from a canine perspective.

Dream Our World is available from Amazon.

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Today I Am A Man!

Sketch of Doberman peeing on a pole with his leg lifted.

Now I am a man too! In your face! This might mean more if you weren't carrying your stuffies around all the time.

Stuffies aren't manly?

CAirn terrier lies next to stuffed toys.

Stuffies are too manly!!

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Without much to do during this lock down, I am expecting a baby boom late this year and early next. If it happens that you will be welcoming a new life to your family or circle of friends, consider giving him or her a beautiful handmade quilt.

Handmade ASL/American Sign Language Quilt with stuffed monkey posing on top.

Handmade American Sign Language/ASL Quilt

This ASL/American Sign Language Quilt is crib sized (41.5″ x 47.25″) and is an original design of mine. The quilt is made using hand applique, hand embroidery and hand quilting techniques, so it is quite time consuming to make. The shell is entirely cotton with a cotton/bamboo batting.

If you can help my quilt find a happy home, I would be most appreciative. (The cost is $725 with shipping determined by ZIP code. You can contact me here or through my website L Bowman Studios ).

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Chili Out?

Si.

Smiling chili pepper toy.

Hola!

Toby told me he head to pee, so I clipped his collar and leash on and headed toward the door. Before we stepped out, he cried “Wait!” and dashed back into the room to grab his new stuffed chili pepper.

Cairn terrier allows his stuffed chili pepper toy to go pee.

Whenever Toby has a toy that he likes, he fusses over it like a good papi. He likes to take his toys out to give them a chance to relieve themselves.

Cairn terrier peeing.

Aw, Mom, don’t show that one! I was standing like a girl.

Once Toby and the toy were done, he picked up his little one to bring back inside.

Cairn terrier approaches his stuffee chili pepper toy.

Cairn terrier touches his stuffed chili papper toy.

Cairn terrier carries his toy chili pepper.

Cairn terrier gazes off into the distance while hoding his stuffed chili pepper toy.

I can hear the wild chili peppers

calling off in the distance!

As always, Toby was extremely cooperative when having his picture taken. He stood perfectly still so that I could capture his portrait in perfect detail.

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For a clear picture of your pet, consider having his or her portrait done! Visit my website, L Bowman Studios, to see examples of my work and price lists.

Pet portraits make great gifts including birthday gifts and healing tributes. Since I work online, you don’t need to worry about wearing a mask while doing business.

Hope to see you soon!

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Who Was That Masked Dog?

Geordie: Why are you wearing that? You know dogs can't get Covid 19. Toby: Yes but now all the girls wil think I am a doctor.

Toby: OK ladies, Marcus Welby is in the house! Geordie: He probably shouldn't watch so many late night reruns.

Toby will do anything to impress the ladies.

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Have a special occasion coming up but can’t get to the store to buy a present? Then order a copy of Dream Our World to be sent to your family or friend.

The Museum of the Imagination is one of the only museums in the world that is open right now. Come along with Bitey and Toby to view the world of art from a canine perspective and have free rein in the museum with all of the humans at home.

Dream Our World is available from Amazon.

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Be Careful When You Sleep

Whoa, what happened to you? I'm afraid of the clippers, so Mom keeps sneaking up on me with scissors when I'm sleeping.

(My Mom calls him “Toby of the Butt Tuft.”)

Untrimmed Cairn Terrier

Before

Neatly trimmed Cairn terrier

After

Eventually things get evened out.

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To have more fun at my boys’ expense, pick up a copy of Dream Our World. Inside, you will get to see the world of art through the eyes of my two pups.

This would be a great book to have on hand if the grand kids are off school yet you need to keep them entertained as well as educated. Famous works are recreated and reinterpreted in various mediums all while injecting a touch of humor into each piece or artwork.

Dream Our World is available from Amazon.

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Toy of the Gods

For our friends who are unfamiliar with the joys of toilet paper:

Roll of toilet paper

Mommy forgot to shut

The bathroom door

Where the roll of TP

Hangs so close to the floor.

Sketch of dog wrapped in toilet paper. When from over my shoulder

Comes a loud, angry roar,

“Don’t touch that, you beast!

I don’t have any more!”

Sketch of woman running

So I snatch up the end

And away I do soar..

So pleased with my game,

I am thrilled to the core!

Leaping and bounding

And twisting with glee

I watch as my human

Can’t catch up with me.

I roll till I’m wrapped

like an ancient mummy.

It’s a gift from the gods

This roll of TP!

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Join the pups in more insanity in Dream Our World! In it, Bitey and Toby visit the museum of their dreams. Come with them as they in view the world of art from a canine perspective all while enjoying a day of unsupervised fun.

Dream Our World is available from Amazon.

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Everyone’s a Critic

Suspicious shredder with ears and a tail handle.

Little Cairn Terrier chews a piece of paper.

Dog-chewed sketch paper

sketch of cartoon puppies

People laugh at me for leaving things in my trash can because I know Toby is going to climb in and make a mess. The problem is that if I don’t leave anything in there, he will go after something I care about. Last night he decided that my trash can wasn’t interesting enough and chewed up a sketch book.

Toby innocently stands there, wondering what mommy is looking at.

OK, so maybe I chewed up some papers , but I definitely wouldn’t put a baby sister in a box.

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To enjoy more of my boys’ naughty antics, pick up a copy of Poopiter. Poopiter follows my illustrated boys during their first year together.

Poopiter is available from Amazon.

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Schroedinger and Dirty Hankies

Black and white cat sitting in box

Earlier this year business was slow. As soon as I got sick, though, all sorts of requests started pouring in. It has left me with mixed feelings about colds. Sure they hurt like heck and my dreams turn weird, but it does allow me to buy more biscuits for my stinky Toby.

Toby is totally behind the idea of me getting sick. Turns out he is particularly fond of dirty hankies. Toby was inspired by my last post to want to chase a little sister around with gross hankerchiefs, so when I had a dream of him getting an itty bitty Westie sister he was all on board. Arf! Arf! Arf!

He claims he won’t put his little sister in a box with dirty hankies as a science experiment, but I see no reason to trust him.

Sad Cairn terrier looks out of door.

Aw, Ma, how can you say you don’t trust this face?

(Where did you put that latest box from Amazon?)

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To help Toby get even more biscuits, pick up a copy of Dream Our World

In Dream Our World, Bitey and Toby go on an adventure to the Museum of the Imagination. Fortunately, this museum is very welcoming. No one hovers over your shoulder or yells at you for wanting to touch the artwork. It is a fun place to go!

Inside, the pups view the world of art from a canine perspective and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun.

Dream Our World is available from Amazon.

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If you already have a copy of Dream Our World but would still like to help Toby eat too many biscuits, order a pet portrait form L. Bowman Studios. (A sample of my work is above.)

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Fever Dreams

I come upon a river of sandpaper and razor blades.

This water is no fun to drink.

Maybe if I lie on my other side, it will get better.

Hayricks with yellow circles.

(Not my picture.)

Take note of the hayricks!

The what? Haystacks?

Hayricks! Remember the Hayrick Protocol!

Gather the yellow circles. See how they give you strength? Grab them. Stab them with the fork.

Yes, I guess I do feel better.

Green and red sneeze

Splat! Morning arrives with red and green, but no Christmas. Soon, an entire laundry load of handkerchiefs. This shouldn’t happen to a woman. It is something teenage boys would enjoy – waving their gelatinous banners in arms held high while chasing little sisters around the house to hear them scream.

I raise my arm and stare at it. Crepey,..crepey… When did this happen? I can’t remember, but I keep staring.

Relax. You don’t have to worry. The cigarettes are legal now.

But cigarettes already were legal.

Relax! Don’t you feel better now that they are legal? The trunk of your car is filled with them. You can rest.

Two nights slip by so softly and silently I am not aware of their coming or going. It is bliss.

Cairn terrier sleeping in laundry

(Why does she get to cough, but I get yelled at for barking?)

Toby has stopped hiding my slippers and stealing my sandwiches. Now he keeps vigil at the door, waiting to save me from the fever.

I didn’t get the present I wanted. For my birthday, I wanted a masseur to travel in time to this moment to fix my leg cramps. I still hurt; I must not have gotten my wish.

Oh, and don’t forget the local dentist who spent $82,000 on two commercials only to generate a mere $2,400 in business.

Is that true?

Is any of this?

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Once again, this post is based on actual events.

I’ve been ill for nearly three weeks, and I am sick and tired (ha ha) of this stupid virus. For the first two weeks, Toby was an ornery little devil who caused a lot of mischief because it was fun. By week three when the fevers started, he sensed something was different. Now he sticks close to me and gets concerned if a coughing fit is too strong. It is really nice to have someone who cares. Geordie just used to yell at me when I got sick. Ha! Such a different fellow!

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To visit a dream world that is a lot more fun than the ones where I have been recently, pick up a copy of Dream Our World. Inside, Bitey and Toby visit the Museum of the Imagination. There they envision themselves into the famous works of art and make commentary on each piece without saying a word.

This book is difficult to do justice in its description It really is a sweet and charming book with plenty of humor. Readers from grade school age through folks in their 90s have all enjoyed visiting with the boys.

Dream Our World is available from Amazon.

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