Schroedinger and Dirty Hankies

Black and white cat sitting in box

Earlier this year business was slow.  As soon as I got sick, though, all sorts of requests started pouring in.  It has left me with mixed feelings about colds.  Sure they hurt like heck and my dreams turn weird, but it does allow me to buy more biscuits for my stinky Toby.

Toby is totally behind the idea of me getting sick.  Turns out he is particularly fond of dirty hankies.  Toby was inspired by my last post to want to chase a little sister around with gross hankerchiefs, so when I had a dream of him getting an itty bitty Westie sister he was all on board.Arf! Arf! Arf!

He claims he won’t put his little sister in a box with dirty hankies as a science experiment, but I see no reason to trust him.

Sad Cairn terrier looks out of door.

Aw, Ma, how can you say you don’t trust this face?

(Where did you put that latest box from Amazon?)

**********************************************

To help Toby get even more biscuits, pick up a copy of Dream Our World

Cover of the book Dream Our World

In Dream Our World, Bitey and Toby go on an adventure to the Museum of the Imagination.  Fortunately, this museum is very welcoming.  No one hovers over your shoulder or yells at you for wanting to touch the artwork.  It is a fun place to go!

Inside, the pups view the world of art from a canine perspective and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun.

Dream Our World is available from Amazon.

**********************************************

If you already have a copy of Dream Our World but would still like to help Toby eat too many biscuits, order a pet portrait form L. Bowman Studios.  (A sample of my work is above.)

Fever Dreams

I come upon a river of sandpaper and razor blades.

This water is no fun to drink.

Maybe if I lie on my other side, it will get better.

Hayricks with yellow circles.

(Not my picture.)

Take note of the hayricks!

The what?  Haystacks?

Hayricks!  Remember the Hayrick Protocol!

Gather the yellow circles.  See how they give you strength?   Grab them.  Stab them with the fork.

Yes, I guess I do feel better.

Green and red sneeze

Splat! Morning arrives with red and green, but no Christmas.  Soon, an entire laundry load of handkerchiefs.   This shouldn’t happen to a woman.  It is something teenage boys would enjoy – waving their gelatinous banners in arms held high while chasing little sisters around the house to hear them scream.

I raise my arm and stare at it.  Crepey,..crepey…  When did this happen?  I can’t remember, but I keep staring.

Relax.  You don’t have to worry.  The cigarettes are legal now.

But cigarettes already were legal.

Relax!  Don’t you feel better now that they are legal?  The trunk of your car is filled with them.   You can rest.

Two nights slip by so softly and silently I am not aware of their coming or going.  It is bliss.

Cairn terrier sleeping in laundry

(Why does she get to cough, but I get yelled at for barking?)

Toby has stopped hiding my slippers and stealing my sandwiches.  Now he keeps vigil at the door, waiting to save me from the fever.

I didn’t get the present I wanted.  For my birthday,  I wanted a masseur to travel in time to this moment to fix my leg cramps.  I still hurt; I must not have gotten my wish.

Oh, and don’t forget the local dentist who spent $82,000 on two commercials only to generate a mere $2,400 in business.

Is that true?

Is any of this?

************************************************

Once again, this post is based on actual events.

I’ve been ill for nearly three weeks, and I am sick and tired (ha ha)  of this stupid virus.  For the first two weeks, Toby was an ornery little devil who caused a lot of mischief because it was fun.  By week three when the fevers started, he sensed something was different.  Now he sticks close to me and gets concerned if a coughing fit is too strong.  It is really nice to have someone who cares.  Geordie just used to yell at me when I got sick.  Ha!  Such a different fellow!

******************************************

To visit a dream world that is a lot more fun than the ones where I have been recently, pick up a copy of Dream Our World.  Inside, Bitey and Toby visit the Museum of the Imagination.  There they envision themselves into the famous works of art and make commentary on each piece without saying a word.

Cover of the book Dream Our World

This book is difficult to do justice in its description  It really is a sweet and charming book with plenty of humor.  Readers from grade school age through folks in their 90s have all enjoyed visiting with the boys.

Dream Our World is available from Amazon.

 

 

 

Sleeping Angels

Toby sleeping next to Mommy's desk.

Last night I found Toby hidden in a little corner next to my desk.  I thought it was funny to see him sleeping with his head on my hard, wooden sewing basket and his butt pressed against a soft, comfortable pillow.  I grabbed my camera and snapped a picture before he could wake up.  I didn’t realize until this evening when I went to edit it that he looked exactly like the picture of sleeping Geordie on the pillow.  Aw, my little angel boys!

********************************************************

Cover of the book Dream Our World

Don’t forget to pick up a copy of Dream Our World.  Inside, not-so-angelic Bitey and Toby visit the museum of their dreams and view the world of art from a canine perspective.

Dream Our World is available from Amazon and from a museum (conveniently located near me but distressingly far from all of you).

I Didn’t See It Coming

Unfortunately based on a true story:

Guess what? It snowed!

Why don't you guys have some breakfast before we go out? Puppy: No, I'm too excited to eat.

Not today, thank you/

Whee!

Puppy makes snow angels.

Puppy dives into fresh snow.

Puppy does the backstroke in fresh snow.

Puppy digs in fresh snow.

Hello...what's this? They grew back?

Here, let me help you get some of those s ow balls off of you.

Maybe you shouldn't have rubbed my tummy when I am so excited.

I had another surprise hit me that I didn’t see coming.  (Ha ha)   I  developed a reaction to the plastic on my eyeglass frames.  It has become so painful that I have stopped wearing them.  The catch is that my vision is something like 20/1000 without them.

Before I begin a serious search for hypo-allergenic frames, I am starting an eye exercise program that is supposed to improve or even fix a person’s vision. It would be great if it worked so I didn’t need glasses anymore.

In the meantime, don’t worry if Bitey Dog seems a bit fuzzy or my typing is worse than usual.  It is just me getting used to my natural eyes.

*********************************************

Toby innocently stands there, wondering what mommy is looking at.

Does this mean you can’t see me getting into trouble now?

*****************************************

If you haven’t spent all of your Amazon gift card money yet, consider ordering a copy of Dream Our World.  In it, Bitey and Toby go on an adventure to the Museum of the Imagination and view the world of art from a canine perspective.

Cover of the book Dream Our World

Dream Our World is available from Amazon…and soon at a museum!

 

 

 

 

Toby Gets Something for Christmas

So, who is this Santa fellow again, and what is it I am supposed to be doing for him?

Um, I might not be too worried about that if I were you.

Toby has been as wound up and boisterous as any child these past few weeks…so much so that I wasn’t sure tht Santa would bring him anything.  Then Toby pulled his act together and was a perfect little angel puppy last night.  If Santa works like Christianity, then a last minute repentance is still enough to ensure a reward.

Don’t pee on the tree, and you might just get some tennis balls!

**********************************

We are all waiting with great anticipation not so much for a visit from Santa but a posting of a certain Malt’s Christmas prank.

************************************

If Santa happened to bring you an Amazon gift card for the holidays, you can use it to get your very own copy of Dream Our World!  Inside, Bitey and Toby visit the museum of their dreams and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun.

Cover of the book Dream Our World

Dream Our World is available from Amazon….and soon a museum!

Toby Demonstrates His Grasp of English

Whee! Little dog illustrates Presents of Mind

Whee!

Get out of there!

******************************************************

Hey, you're drawing a picture of me. That's soporific!

I'm pretty sure that word doesn't mean what you think it means.

Let me give you an example: Your incessant story telling can be positively soporific!

Soporific = So = Perfect + Terrific! I knew I was right!

**********************************************

Come have fun with my little monsters at the Museum of the Imagination.  In Dream Our World, Bitey and Toby look at the world of art from a canine perspective and enjoy commenting on all the pieces.

Cover of the book Dream Our World

Dream Our World is available from Amazon – and soon from a museum!

The Ornament

 

Christmas tree with picture of Geordie overlooking the scene.

Geordie Christmas Tree Ornament

Now Geordie is not just above the tree but on it.  In the background, I can hear Toby grumbling something about how he “never got a dinner…”

Black and white sketch of Cairn terrier puppy.

Harrumph.

Don’t worry, Toby.  Your picture hangs in the hall.

****************************************************

To see my boys getting along, pick up a copy of Dream Our World.  Inside, Bitey and Toby visit the museum of their dreams and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun.

Cover of the book Dream Our World

To see my boys not always getting along, try Poopiter!

Bitey Dog and Toby in POOPITER

Poopiter follows Bitey and Toby during their first illustrated year together.

As Requested: The Swimsuit Competition!

For friends of Toby and Max: More Back Story

Hey, what happened to your green sweater? I wanted something for summer so I chose a bathing suit. You look ridiculous. It's so old-fashioned!

He dares ca.. ME old-fashioned? And this coming from a guy with a fainting couch! Anyway, I rock this suit.

If your dogs aren’t team players, Photoshop in layers!

Won’t put the suit on?  Use a crayon!

(Then you can make him wear anything you want to.)

***********************************************

Bitey Dog and Toby in POOPITER

For more of Bitey and Toby’s adventures, put on your red shirt and come with them to Poopiter!  (They “promise” not to make you go to the strange planet first.)

Poopiter tells about Bitey and Toby’s first year together.  It is available from Amazon.

For My Friend Max

Unhappy terrier wearing Christmas Santa outfit.

When I get this strap off my jaw, I am SO going to bite you.

Unhappy terrier lying down while wearing Christmas Santa outfit.

I’m in my happy place… I’m in my happy place…

Unhappy terrier playing dead while wearing Christmas Santa outfit.

Maybe if I play dead, she’ll go away.

Dear Max, at least your Papa had the excuse of being tipsy when he got too close to that one-click Amazon button. My Mom was completely sober when she made this.

************************************************

Cover of the book Dream Our World

Copies of Dream Our World are still available!  Recent readers have commented on how good the book is at introducing youngsters to art.  If there are any little ones or even teachers in your life, consider inviting them to The Museum of the Imagination.

Come with Bitey and Toby on their adventure to the MOTI.  There they view the world of art from a canine perspective while enjoying a day of unsupervised fun.

Dream Our World is available from Amazon.

 

 

 

Toby’s First Tree

Christmas tree with picture of Geordie overlooking the scene.

Kind of sweet, isn’t it?

Notice how Geordie is up in the corner supervising all of the goings on.  He likes to point out that now he is on the same level as the angel.

*******************************************************

Looking for a gift this holiday season?  There is still time to order copies of Dream Our World!

Cover of the book Dream Our World

In Dream Our World, Bitey and Toby visit the Museum of the Imagination where they view art from a canine perspective and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun.

Dream Our World is available from Amazon (but not the library.  Not yet.).