drawing

Qap

What happened? I got stung by a bee. Yikes. You sure can't cover that with a mask. Aagh! Call Patrick Stewart! The Klingons are coming!

I’ve been getting a lot of “Third Eye” comments lately too.

Young cairn terrier looking over his shoulder.

Don’t try to kid yourself. You always look like that.

In case you were wondering, “Qap” is Klingon for “The Bee Sting”. Believe it or not, if you go to Google Translate, you can translate words into Klingon.

Cover of the book Dream Our World

For an adventure that needs no translation, pick up a copy of Dream Our World. Inside, my two boys go on an adventure of the imagination in the art museum of their dreams.

Dream Our World is available both from my shop and from Amazon.

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Giving Back

No one said it was a rational thought, but it’s what I was wondering as I watched a bat the other night.

Little Cairn terrier.

Let’s call her Edith. Why? ‘Cause she’s such a dingbat!

Cover of the book Dream Our World

Don’t forget to pick up a copy of Dream Our World. You will want to brag to friends that you had your copy before the book becomes fabulously famous Inside, Bitey and Toby visit the museum of their dreams and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun!

Dream Our World is available from my shop and from Amazon.

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The New Mug

Bonk!
World's Worst Mom

Don’t worry. Toby is fine. He doesn’t have to go to the vet; I do.

Cairn terrier looks up at the camera.

I don’t need the vet. I’m perfect.

I thought I had a handle on my eye problems, but on Monday my eye swelled up like a Greg Nicotero creation. When Friday came along and I still wasn’t feeling well, I decided to call the doctor. We’ll find out on Monday if I can go back to being me or if I have to move to Georgia to work as an extra on The Walking Dead.

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If you are in or might be visiting New York City, don’t forget to stop by The Museum of the Dog! Help to rebuild NYC while celebrating humankind’s best friend. If you can’t go in person, consider buying a gift from the museum’s gift shop.

Curious what pups might do in a museum geared for dogs? Then pick up a copy of Dream Our World.

Cover of the book Dream Our World

Dream Our World is fun for all ages. It is available from my shop and from Amazon.

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Don’t Read This (Paving My Road to Hell)

Jesus rejects supplicants because they are not wearing masks.

Ew!  get away!  You’re not wearing masks!

I told you not to read this.

Church is not for me. My mom loves it, though, and I love my mom, so I sit beside her to keep her company.  In this state, the rule is that if you are outside and more than 6′ away from another person, you don’t have to wear a mask.  Due to logistical issues, churches hold services outside instead of in their buildings.  Parishioners scatter themselves across the grounds and the parking lot.

Some people have decided that even outdoors and 6’+ away from other humans, they still feel at risk.  Rather than moving even further away from their neighbors, they decided to write to the priest who initiated a campaign of mask shaming.  I guess around here we have that super virus that is self-propelled.

This past week, the sermon was about being quiet and listening to hear God.  Of course the “bad guys” in the contemporary examples were young children wearing ear buds.  Somehow the priest failed to notice that there wasn’t a single moment of silence in that service for prayer or meditation.  It was filled entirely with organ music and singing.

Young cairn terrier looking over his shoulder.

I’m a terrier.  I am never quiet!

Before everyone left, the priest told listeners that they should be grateful to the volunteers who gave their time to sanitize, sanitize, sanitize the church.*  Then we were told to go forth in confidence and conquer our fears.  From the dirty looks I got when I laughed out loud, I presumed that wasn’t intended to be funny.

Thanks to the many hours I spend each day in the kitchen, I have plenty of quiet time to try to get in touch with a Higher Power.  Instead of amazing revelations, I find such idle questions as, “What happens to the left-overs after pressing olives for olive oil?” in my head.  (If you are curious,  they are dried in the sun and them compressed into briquettes to be used as heating fuel.)

I may not know God’s plans for me, but I know a teeny bit more about olives.

Actually, we puppies are born perfect. We don't need religion to find God like humans do.

*Not sure why all the sanitizing since the people are on the outside.

Oil painting of Westie puppy.

Oil painting of Westie puppy.

If you would like a pet portrait, order now before I am sent directly to hell!  Details about sizes and pricing – as well as other examples of my work – can be found at my website L Bowman Studios.

 

 

 

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Pea Bane

 

Very small pea plant breaking ground

See my little pea?  I went out super early in the mud and the cold to plant him and his kin so that they would have lots of time to grow big and strong before the heat arrived.

What arrived instead?  The bunny brothers!!!

Mixed media sketch of a bunny

Seriously, what kind of an idiot would lovingly portray vermin such as this?!?  Oh, wait…

Thanks to those two idiot rabbits, my plants never got any larger than in the picture.  If they dared grow over 1″ high, they were chomped off.

 

Garden snake

I tried inviting a snake into the garden, but it turned its head away and lithped thomething about being thcared of bunnies.  I guess this one wasn’t a self-motivated hard worker like that Garden of Eden snake.

Bunny hole dug into garden

Although I have a fence, it didn’t keep the bunny brothers out.  They tunneled in under the tomato plants.  Their tunnel was big enough that it eventually caused the tomato plants to fall over.

 

Snake and dead toad

(Hey snake, why don’t you crawl down that hole?  Snake: “No thankth.  I think I will justh keep eating thith dead toad.”)

I tried using spray made of rotten eggs and garlic and a host of foul things.  The label said that it was supposed to repel all different sorts of animals.Oh gross! The wind shifted!

 

I guess in the manufacturer’s world, “repel” means “come hither”.  Not only did the bunnies like it but so did my dogs.

Mmm...Mummy. What IS that intoxicating scent you're wearing?!?

Cairn terrier stalking prey

Come on Ma, just let me off this leash, and your bunny problem will be history!

Drawing of bunny wearing Bane maskBunny Bane

Why doesn’t the governor force the bunnies wear masks?  It would make it a lot harder for them to eat my vegetables.

If you would like to send pictures of vermin (bunnies) to friends and family, then come visit my store at L Bowman Studios.  I have several styles of note cards to fit your correspondence needs. Mixed media sketch of a bunny

(Oh, and if you haven’t been to the Post Office lately, they have some interesting holographic dinosaur stamps for sale!)

 

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Bagpipes

 

Drawing of man playing bagpipes

Hronk! Hwee! Would you guys like some Benedryl?

I wasn’t sure I would ever be able to post this story.  I drew it several years ago when Geordie was hronking and Toby was reverse sneezing.  They made such a cacophony together!  I figured it was allergies and gave them some medicine so they could rest.

Not long after, I found out that lung cancer was the real reason behind Geordie’s funny noises.  I felt awful that I made fun of my poor puppy when he was seriously sick.

Geordie assuaged my guilt somewhat by living far beyond what the vet predicted.  When he finally left, he went on his own terms – old age.  He never did succumb to the cancer.

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Oil painting of Westie puppy.

Oil painting of Westie puppy.

Capture a memory of your own amazing furbeast with a pet portrait from L Bowman Studios.  Visit my site for more information on sizes and pricing.

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Bedtime: Not As Much Fun As It Used To Be

The prolonged heat of this summer has left me with another case of eyes so swollen and sore that I can barely see. Having the air of fans or AC blowing across them – even while I sleep – has caused a serious enough situation that I needed to take action.

Oh no! Mommy is being kidnapped! No, I am just covering my eyes to help keep them protected from the fan while I sleep. Hey, someone help me to bed, will ya?

I tried a bandana, but that didn’t work.

Not my image

If your eyes are bad enough, there are sleep goggles to keep your eyes hydrated at night.  They also make you look a bit like Carrie-Anne Moss in The Matrix.  The catch?  They are around $60+ shipping, and they only last a few months.

 

The blindfold didn't work, but I read that wrapping your eyes with plastic wrap might keep them protected during the night. Could one of you help me to bed? Hey, you're covering the wrong part of your face.

As an alternative, I found someone’s more economical suggestion of using clingy plastic wrap to cover your eyes.  I don’t have plastic wrap, so I borrowed some for  my nocturnal experiment.  That night I put a big blob of what amounts to ophthalmic petroleum jelly in my eyes, wrapped them up and tried to sleep.

The plastic wrap was hot and crackly, but it did clue in to something I hadn’t known before.  I had never realized that I open my eyes even before I fall asleep.  The plastic crackled every time I did, and I would force myself to close them again.  Sadly, the gel and the plastic wrap still did not solve my problem.

I think I've got it this time. Now I am using tape to keep my eyes clsoed! Boys? cCould someone help me to bed?

Yup, the next step was taping my eyes closed.

I am one of those lucky individuals who has a negative reaction to the adhesive on surgical tape and Band Aids.  This led me on a hunt for hypoallergenic tape that wouldn’t cause my eyes to swell shut.  (Although that probably would have solved my problem.)

Interestingly, while searching to tape, I found out that the latest fad is “mouth taping”.  Seriously.  It promotes breathing through your nose while you sleep, and it is supposed to cause you to sleep more deeply and wake more refreshed.  Imagine all those logopthalmic mouth breathers all taped up like mummies at night!

I still haven’t discovered a proper solution to my problem, but I’ve found that using tape and plastic wrap over my eyes gives the most comfortable results.  (My mom cringed when I told her that.  “Comfortable?” she asked.   Oddly enough, yes.)

hello, Canine Protective Services? HELP!!!

Toby innocently stands there, wondering what mommy is looking at.

Isn’t there someone out there who would like to adopt a little terrier? I am a good boy, and I don’t bark too much.  Please?

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Oil painting of Westie puppy.Oil painting of Westie puppy.

Capture memories of your own furry companion with a pet portrait from L Bowman Studios.  Pet portraits make great gifts for birthdays or Christmas.  You can also order one as a loving tribute for a friend or family member who has lost someone dear to them.

Information about sizes and pricing are available at my website:  L Bowman Studios.

 

 

 

 

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Lagophthalmos – Why Toby Sometimes 吠

Many moons ago, I developed an eye problem so severe that I could barely see at all.  It were as if I had a sheet of waxed paper held right next to my eye.  I was able to see light and a little color but precious little else.  A visit to an eye specialist yielded the diagnosis of “We’re not sure what’s wrong, but here are some drops.  Maybe your eyes will get better.”   It took many long months, but eventually my eyes healed and my vision returned to what it usually is.

For six months or so, though, I was at a total loss what to do with myself.  I couldn’t watch TV.  I couldn’t read or use nascent computer technology.  (This happened decades ago.)  I couldn’t go for a walk or even read a book.

In desperation, I scoured my bookshelf for something that I might be able to read.  What I came up with was a Chinese textbook that I always meant to study but never got around to.

New characters were a full inch tall, and if I leaned close, I could make them out.  Out of desperation because I had nothing else to read, I learned to read Chinese.

I really enjoyed what I was doing and kept it up for three additional textbooks.  Based on the series I used, though, my vocabulary mostly consists of knowing how to talk about students studying literature at such-and-such university.

Anyway, that is why Toby sometimes barks in Chinese.

And as for the eye problem?  Years later the same thing happened again.  After three visits and two specialists they figured out that I sleep with my eyes open.  Uni 1

My boys were embarrassed to be seen with me while I was dealing with this problem.  They claimed I looked like the Unibomber.

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Oil painting of Westie puppy.

Don’t forget to place your orders for Christmas pet pictures early.  (It will give me plenty of time to work and to allow the paint to dry.)  For more information about ordering, visit L Bowmn Studios.

 

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