Frenzied Fall

Didn't make it to the bedroom, did she? Not even close.

On top of all the regular responsibilities that come with fall, I have been walking my neighbor’s pup while she is away. The little Schnauzer learned to blackmail me very quickly. She refused to so much as pee unless she got a walk.

Of course I got walks too. I’ll share you, but you’re still my human.

By going on so many walks each day, I got to experience some incredible things. I got to hear the cock crow three times in the morning. I got to watch the fawn twins frolic and play, and I got to see the most incredibly heavy fog that looked like something from a movie.

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You’re alright for a girl.

You don’t smell too bad for a boy.

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Suitable for both foggy mornings and foggy evenings, Black Hooded Cloak/Cape can keep you warm while still looking stylish. Whether heading to an evening at the theatre or celebrating Halloween with ghouls and vampires, this satin-lined cloak is sure to make a statement.

Black Hooded Cloak/Cape is available from my shop at L Bowman Studios.

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Next Time You Don’t Feel Well…

Have a bowl of

and a sandwich on the side made with

Bumblebees chink Light "Tuna" Made with real bees

I think of the movie Snowpiercer and wonder what horrified people more – the thought of the main character engaging in cannibalism by eating an infant or the image of passengers eating “protein bricks” straight from the bug hopper.

Both ideas were meant to horrify North Americans. Culturally we are taught not to eat either. How hard do you think the push back will be when those who think they are all-that-and-a-bag-of-chips try to force insects on us?

I don’t know what you are complaining about.

Squished spiders are delicious!

My understanding is that murder hornets don’t have any natural predators in this country. Perhaps we could serve them up to all those trying to force others to eat bugs. We’ll tell them it’s “bee”f.

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Handmade Butterfly Quilt. — In some parts of the world, the weather is already starting to cool. Be prepared for those chilly nights with a warm, handmade quilt. This twin sized Patchwork Butterfly Quilt is hand appliqued, hand embroidered and hand quilted. (If you’d like, you can tell friends and family you made it yourself in your spare time during the lock down!)

This colorful Patchwork Butterfly Quilt, and many other fine items, are available from my shop at L Bowman Studios.

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The Yark and the Witching Hour

Electric mustard colored fungus growing in wood mulch

Luminescent pile of yark

gently glowing in the dark.

Yellow like a ‘nanner peel

Little doggie do you feel

better now the puke is gone

sitting outside on the lawn?

(Wouldn’t Mozart be proud?)

The other night, Toby managed to jump up to the counter and steal and eat a banana peel before I could stop him. At 3:00 am he kindly gave the peel back. The poem has a happier ending than real life because it happened outside unlike reality which required an early morning kennel scrubbing. Thanks Toby.

Anytime, mom!

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If you would like to know more of what Toby and his brother have been up to, pick up a copy of Dream Our World. Inside Bitey (Geordie) and Toby visit the museum of their dreams and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun.

Dream Our World is available from my shop at L Bowman Studios.

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A Haiku

I'm just as sick of how smelly this psoriasis is as you are. Says the woman without a dog's nose.

It makes you smell like a dumbster. Don't you mean dumpster? Po-tay-to, po-tah-to.

Warm autumn evening-
bee clouds swarm menacingly
around the dumpster.

Don’t believe these drawings. I’ve been really nice to mommy lately.

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This colorful Patchwork Butterfly Quilt, and many other fine items, are available from my shop at L Bowman Studios.

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I Always Thought Sunflowers Were Happy…

…but maybe not this one. It appears she did too much partying over the weekend, and on Monday I found her face down in the spinach.

Ha Ha!

Her sisters stood over her laughing at how she couldn’t hold her booze.

Can’t wait to get rid of those pukey flowers so I can get back to digging!

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School is back in session! Encourage your young student to combat covid apathy by wearing quality, classic attire instead of the ubiquitous T shirts and shorts/yoga pants. Also suitable for religious services, these handmade silk neckties show that your young person is serious about their future. (I think these days that passes for grammatically correct.)

Boy's Long Sleeved Shirt shown with optional Red Silk Tie

Silk ties and other fine items are available from my shop at L Bowman Studios.

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The Watermelon

Whoa, what's that? Go tell Geordie I got us a watermelon.

Now what the devil was that thing called? Oh yeah.....

I never know what that boy is barking about.

The tag on the plant said that the melons would grow to 20 lbs.

Mine were maybe 5 lbs.

In real life this is a story about my brother. Ever since the incident, meldahelda has been our family word for watermelon.

Why do you go dragging me into this nonsense?

I wasn’t even alive when “meldahelda” happened.

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Find out what other nonsense my boys have been up to. In Dream Our World you can go with them to the Museum of the Imagination while viewing art from a canine perspective and enjoying a day or unsupervised fun.

You can find Dream Our World and other fine gifts at my shop at L Bowman Studios.

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B12 and Boys

The last doctor I saw thought that my cluster of symptoms might be due to a B12 deficiency. The easiest way to find out if you are deficient is to take some. If you are low, you should feel more energetic. If you’re not, you’ll just pee out the excess.

I picked up a bottle of B12 at the store and took some for several days. Each day brought with it unpleasant stomach cramps but no extra energy. I looked up B12 side effects. Reported incidents were relatively low. For women the most common complaint was shortness of breath. Stomach ailments, however, were almost exclusively listed by men.

This got me thinking about the game of Boy or Girl that Toby and I play where he adamantly insists that I am a boy. Before I was kidding about him knowing something I don’t, but now I’m less and less sure…

You should listen to me more. I know what I’m barking about.

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Come on an adventure with Bitey and Toby to the Museum of the Imagination in Dream Our World! Inside the boys view the world of art from a canine perspective and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun.

Dream Our World and other fine gifts are available at my shop at L Bowman Studios.

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The Schirmer Test

On Tuesday I went to the ophthalmologist for a follow up to see how my eyes are responding to the medication. To test tear production, paper strips with little rulers on them are places between the eyeball and eyelid. Then you wait to see what volume of tears are created in a certain period of time.

Goofball me, I managed to skew the test within seconds. I closed my eyes and the first thought to pop into my mind was Geordie. Aww, how cute my little boy was! Then I started crying. Not much, but enough that it looked like I have a crazy high amount of tears. I told the doctor what happened, but she was still pleased with the results.

My Geordie hasn’t been on earth in almost three years, and he can still fix everything!

I told you I was magic!

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To find out what my magical puppies like to do on their day off, pick up a copy of Dream Our World. Inside, the boys view the world of art from a canine perspective and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun.

Dream Our World is available from my shop at L Bowman Studios.

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Cotton Balls

Actually, that would have been more fun.

Today I got to experience nerve conduction testing. While not as bad as I was expecting, it still wasn’t much fun. Basically they stick needles into your muscles (while insisting that you remain completely relaxed as they do!) then ask you to flex so that they can check how your nerves and muscles are working. Some times they shock you with electricity (probably mostly for amusement). Where they stabbed me in the back, I developed some colorful goose eggs. I take turmeric, which acts as a blood thinner, so I ended up with cotton ball band-aids all over.

The take away? I can add Lou Gehrig’s Disease to my list of things I don’t have.

Another “you” post? This is getting boring.

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Are you heading to a birthday party or shower? Consider using this festive, reusable Zodiac Gift Presentation Bag to present your treasured item! Colorful Zodiac themed bag is made of durable bottom weight cotton and lined with muslin and a stiff interfacing to give it its shape even after being washed. After the gift has been removed, the bag can be reused as a gift bag or repurposed as a tote.

This any many fine items are available from my shop at L Bowman Studios.

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We Want to Help You Succeed!

Mommy is drawn inside of the Ghost Buster symbol

Oh wait, not you. You’re old.

The local technical college has been conducting demonstrations at local libraries introducing the public to their various career programs. I decided to go to one to see what they might have to offer and ask questions about certification requirements. They took one look at me and politely said that they can only help “student aged” people, not a “continuing education” someone such as myself.

Sigh.

Have I told you lately that you’re old? That’s right, I don’t have to. Someone else did.

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If you would like to find out what young puppies do when let loose in the museum of their dreams, pick up a copy of Dream Our World! Inside Biteyand Toby view the world of art from a canine perspective and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun.

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The Adventures of Bitey Dog

Author: Bitey Dog