Toby is usually gentle with his toys. Geordie was the one who dealt with stress by destroying stuffed animals. At Christmas, Toby was so agitated by lack of exercise and being unable to poo that he destroyed his gifts as soon as he got them. (Then he went back to the tree looking for more.)
He was really upset when I had to finally take the tree down. I think he was hoping more gifts might appear.
(Sorry. Dopey mommy got tendonitis and is behind in her storytelling as a result.)
*************************
Come see what my boys have been up to at the Museum of the Imagination as they view the world of art from a canine perspective and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun!
In grade school we had to do a play where characters needed to learn that the greatest gift was not gold or silver but love. I have come to learn that the greatest gift is not love: it’s poop.
Across north America we faced unusually cold temperatures over the Christmas holiday. In this area it was -5 with a windchill of -30 for days. I know other parts of the country had far worse weather (and our hearts go out to you!), but this was the worst that Toby had ever encountered.
My boy was willing to run out and do super-quick #1s, but when it came to #2 he said he could wait. And wait he did…for days and days. By Christmas eve, he was the crankiest puppy I had ever encountered. He had two meltdowns that day, just like a human toddler. He was in such a mood that he decided to start opening presents – any presents – even those not his.
I tried to tell him it was OK if he went inside. I even set out some piddle pads just in case. I told him he could go anywhere he wanted and not be in trouble, but he just looked at me as if I were crazy to even suggest such a thing. Sneakily I kept giving him pumpkin and coconut water, trying to make going so easy that he could get done before his paws froze to the ground.
Finally, late at night as shepherds kept watch and angels sang, Toby finally went #2. Of all the gifts I got for Christmas, I think this was the best.
Silly. Any dog could have told you that poop is the greatest gift.
**********************************
In case your taste in gifts doesn’t run toward poo, consider a soft, warm cardigan. Classically styled Tweed Cardigans are comfortable enough to wear on chilly evenings at home yet handsome enough to wear to work or even to religious services. Hand knit of a merino wool/alpaca/Donnegal tweed blend, this extra soft cardigan will wrap you or your loved one in warmth for years to come.
Each year my folks ask for gift suggestions for what I would like for Christmas. Mostly my lists are practical items like food, books or shoes, but I also like to throw in a wild card like a pony or a sports car just for fun. This year I had seen a decoration that I thought was adorable. It was a light up Christmas puppy. I decided that would be this year’s wild card.
To my surprise, I got the wild card! Christmas Puppy has been a hit with the neighborhood ever since he arrived. So many people have stopped to comment on him. Here he is sitting next to the remains of Pee Man. I tried to get Toby to pose next to Christmas Puppy, but…well, Toby.
Here is Christmas Puppy siting next to our garden pumpkins.
Here is Toby posing with the garden pumpkins.
(I think Christmas Puppy will be Toby’s stand in from now on.)
I don’t know why you are making such a fuss about that thing.
I am your real Christmas puppy!!
Toby isn’t kidding. He is an almost-Christmas birthday boy!
It’s a little early, but Happy Birthday my evil, bitey one!
You’ve heard of putting sauerkraut in chocolate cake, haven’t you? Well….
****************************
Combat covid apathy by dressing your young person in a classic, silk necktie. It could be worn for a formal occasion, religious services or even to school for classes. It could also make a very smart accessory for a ring bearer or guest at the next wedding you attend.
No matter how much training we do, Toby frequently ends up wearing his dinner. I imagine his groomer is mystified at the myriad of things stuck to his head.
It’s funny that even with a worker shortage, I can still find plenty of places willing to say “no” to me.
*************************
Christmas is right around the corner! Make shopping for the men in you life easier by picking up hand knit merino wool sweaters for everyone on your list.
Yesterday was the first snow of the season. I took Toby outside to play, and we decided to build a snowman. As I rolled the snow across the ground, I picked up pee spot after pee spot after pee spot. When I was done, I had more pee than snow. Toby was thrilled and even kicked the dirty snow into my face. (Thanks, Toby.) It was one of the grossest experiences I’ve had.
After some of the pee melted off, we decided that the snowman looked like a despondent cat.
You didn’t like my pee snow? I don’t believe it.
***********************************
Looking for a gift this holiday season? Consider giving the gift of warmth with this hand quilted Bear Paw Quilt! Heating costs are projected to be 28% higher this winter, so a nice, cozy quilt could help keep utility bills down. Plus, what is more fun than snuggling up together with someone you love on a cold, blustery evening?
I went to the store the other day to find that the cost of a loaf of my bread has risen to $9.19. Needless to say, on top of everything else I have to prepare from scratch, I’m now baking my own bread as well.
Before you wax nostalgic about the tactile joys of kneading dough, I eat a rice-based diet. The less you handle it, the better. Baking bread with a non-glutinous grain is more of a series of science experiment than something you remember doing by your loving grandmother’s side.
If I could get Toby to do even part of the cooking, it would make life so much easier. Sadly, he just eats the ingredients.
Cook whatever you want, I’m taking a nap.
********************************
If you’d like to see what else my boys have been up to, pick up a copy of Dream Our World. Inside the boys visit the museum of their dreams and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun.
Dream Our World would make a great holiday present for someone you love without breaking your budget. Order a copy for everyone on your list!
Toby stole a can of cashews this week. He has been pooping nuts ever since.
You took mine, so I took yours.
I told you there was nothing sadder than a puppy with an empty dish. This puppy did something about it!
**************************************
All summer I have been watching fawn twins grow up. I’ve caught them frolicking in the fog and sunning themselves in the middle of the day. (Unusual because deer are crepuscular.) This day, while Toby and I were out making a nut deposit, we caught them watching us. This is the first time I’ve had a camera with me when we’ve seen them. They are so much more mature than when we first met.
What’s that yappy little thing saying? Something about venison?
**********************************
Do you have a little girl in your life who might enjoy celebrating the holidays in Dickensian style? If so, then this Red Velveteen Capelet was made for her! Whether out caroling with family and friends or heading off to a holiday dinner, Red Velveteen Capelet is sure to turn heads.
Last week I bought Toby a puzzle toy. When I got home I broke up a biscuit and hid the pieces for him. He was so thrilled to “hunt” for his treats that his tail wagged the whole time he played with it. Then he tried to pull it apart to see if he could find more food inside. (He reminded me of a kid at Christmas returning to the tree in case more presents had appeared.)
The next day I decided to hide his kibble diner in the puzzle. While he was willing to go along, I could tell that Toby wasn’t happy about having to work for his meal. It made me wonder what our coyote neighbors might think if they saw my spoiled boy.
Is there any sadder sight than a puppy with an empty dish?
*************************
Looking to do your holiday shopping early? Then consider giving the gift of sweetness and joy with Dream Our World! Inside, my puppies visit the museum of their dreams and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun. The book is an adventure for children and adults alike.
The Adventures of Bitey Dog 