The Scanner

Mom, why aren't you telling stories about us?

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Sorry sweeties.  The scanner decided that it won't work with the new computer, and I'm to lazy to learn to draw digitally.

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OK, this isn’t entirely true. I did draw Murphy digitally. It’s just that I am more comfortable drawing on paper.

As long as I get adulation, I don’t care if it comes digitally or otherwise.

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With Independence Day coming and patriotism at an all-time high, consider adding this unique Armed Forces Quilt to your home decor.

An Armed Forces themed alphabet quilt is a great way to introduce little ones to the world Mommy and/or Daddy work in, or it could be a gift to a hero who has already served.

Each letter block in this U.S. Armed Forces Alphabet Quilt has a colorful, non-threatening representation of some aspect of military life. (W is for “World comma anywhere-in-the,” which is where you may serve! M is for M.R.E.) The corner blocks have pictures which represent the caring and kind natures of the men and women who serve in the armed forces. After all, a lot of what the military does is build relationships.  One corner has a sailor kissing his baby goodbye.  Another shows the special relationship between a soldier and the camp dog.  Another has a service member playing soccer/football with a young boy.  The final block is a family waiting for their loved one to return home after deployment.

This U.S. Armed Forces Quilt, and other fine gifts, are available at my shop at L Bowman Studios.

Hippie Dippy Weather Bun

What's up with mom?

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You know that humans like to convince themselves that they have clean paws when it comes to killing.  Well thanks to you two lazy bones mom had to "dispatch" some rabbits that got into the garden.

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What are we supposed to do?  The rabbits are already gone?  For heaven's sake, go pee    on the fence of something.  make critters at least think that a predator lives here!

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This is so unfair.  We have to do everything.

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Hey man, why'd you have to do me like that?  Why did I have to "do" you?  You were in my garden, you little runt, eating all my vegetables!

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Like, nobody "owns" food, man.  It's just there when you need it.  Eat what you want.  Those things weren't there by accident.  They were there because I worked and I built and I cultivated!

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Sheesh.  Histrionics much?

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You may have been mean to me, but I know I'll be right with the Spirit in the Sky.  Oh no.  You ate out of my garden.  You were a bad bunny.  No Bunny Heaven for you.  You are going to DOGGY Heaven!

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Noooooo!

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What do you think they'll give us to play with next?

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Now you know why God was so ticked about the Garden of Eden.

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If you look at the base of the pinwheel, you can see a nest of baby bunnies. Murphy is definitely not a predator at heart.

Geordie

My mom was trying to get Geordie to look at the camera so I could take his picture. She said “bunny” to get his attention, and this is what happened. Geordie was my hunter.

A lot of people have tried to make me feel guilty about protecting my garden, but if there are no checks and balances, rabbits can quickly get out of control. Australia was devastated by a rabbit invasion. An island in Greece housed prosperous vineyards for centuries until rabbits destroyed them. Bunnies may be cute, but they are prolific and ravenous.

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Looking for a Fathers’ Day gift that’s as soft as a bunny? Consider giving the special man in your life a Hand Knit Merino Wool/Tweed/Alpaca Cardigan.

This classically tailored Man’s XL Coffee Brown Tweed Cardigan is comfortable enough to wear on chilly evenings at home yet  handsome enough to wear to work on casual Fridays.  It can even be worn to church or out to dinner. Dressed up or dressed down this hand knit cardigan in Coffee Brown is sure to quickly become a favorite in your man’s wardrobe.

For more information on this Tweed Cardigan and other fine gifts, please visit my shop at L Bowman Studios.

A Fine, Fermented Beverage

Tulamore Doo-Doo
A Fine, Fermented Beverage

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We  made it ourselves!

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But Kopi Luwak is OK? You hypocrites disgust me.

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Actually this post was a way for me to get acquainted with a new computer. My old one was 15 years young (not even old enough to drive *sniff*), and I was afraid it would give out on me during tariffs/chip shortage – name your disaster of choice to make prices higher. Of course my old software won’t work on the new system, so I have been experimenting with replacements. What a mess.

Bitey Dog might have a different look since old tools are no longer available. Maybe I’ll take this opportunity to make the boys all Westies so I don’t have to worry about colors anymore.

Don’t you even think about it.

Lightning in a Bottle

I've done it!  I'm going to make a million dollars!

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What have you done, puppy?  You know how lightning free nitrogen atoms which then dissolve in water and rain down to earth as fertilizer?  Yes....

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I've harnessed that energy and trapped it for consumers in this convenient container.  It will make their plants grow lush and green.

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I know you can't have actual lightning in that bottle, so what's really in there?  My pee!

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Now whenever anyone fertilizes their lawn, it will be mine.  Pretty soon every plant on the planet will belong to me, and humans will pay ME to do it!

Ew, nobody is going to want that.

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We can trick people into putting our pee on their lawns?!  How do we get in on that action?

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Now I feel like an idiot for doing it one drop at a time.

I found out recently that there is something called Green Lightning that can create nitrogen for fertilizer using electricity, water and air. The company says it uses about the same amount of energy as a toaster. They claim it can pay for itself in a year. So how much does it cost? First the low down payment of $97.00…then a second payment of $11,500.00 and a final payment of $27,040.00. Easy peasy lemon squeezey! (Guess we’ll have to stick to dog pee.)

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Spare yourself the anxiety worrying over tariffs when dealing with products from other countries. Buy the young man in your life quality Made in America clothing for the next special occasion in his life completely tariff free! (To read more about each item, please follow this link: Boys Department.)

These, and other items for young men, can be found in my shop at L Bowman Studios

Bissiger Hund (or What Happened With Bitey Dog?)

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This surprising collection of stats greeted me from my dashboard last week. For some reason it reminded me of Dennis Miller on Saturday Night Live declaring, “Germans love David Hasselhoff!”

Since there were no likes or comments, I will guess that a German bot loves Bitey Dog. Perhaps it was Funnybot? (Ooh, that would be awkward…)

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Don’t look at me. I’m too young to remember those references.

Willis-Ekbom

Why do we keep trying to sneak up here?

Willis-Ekbom Disease: a neurological disorder that causes neurons to misfire in the brain. Sounds impressive. What else is it called? Restless Leg Syndrome. *rolls eyes*

Sometime in the past I’d been told that Restless Leg Syndrome was one of those made up things like “Chronic Fatigue” that lazy people use as an excuse for their lack of accomplishments. (Ha! They’re both real.) I was surprised when I found out it is an actual medical condition with a respectable-sounding name. Anywhere from 5-15% of people have it, but largely it is an old Caucasian lady problem. (Of course.)

I have closer to the whole body type. Yes, it can affect not only the legs but the arms, torso and head as well. For me this stupid condition likes to show up at the same time every night and hang around for about 90 minutes. My choice is to stay awake until after it passes or let it wake me up after about 2 hours sleep. While some articles say that it won’t shorten your lifespan, others say that consistent lack of sleep can cause a host of other problems and THEY can shorten your lifespan.

What causes it? No one is really sure, but they suspect low iron levels in the brain (even if the blood tests normal), low dopamine levels or inadequate blood flow. The good news is that it gets worse as you age!

Hey, wait a minute….

Kick all you want. I like sleeping in my own bed better.

How Childhood Games Prepare Us For Adulthood

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Elevensies?!  I hate Elevensies!

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Cinderella dressed in yella kissed a fella

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How do your biscuits always end up here?

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Would you rather we play Red Rover?

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Handmade Butterfly Quilt.

Spring is right around the corner! Soon flowers and butterflies will be everywhere. Bring some of that springtime joy into your home with this handmade Butterfly Quilt.

A handmade Butterfly Quilt would brighten your guest bedroom with a patchwork look reminiscent of the quilts Grandma used to make.  The soft, cozy quilt would welcome your guests and help them to feel at home.

Handmade Butterfly Quilt, and other fine gifts, are available from my shop at L Bowman Studios.

I’m Going To Hell

Not my image.

It seems that whenever I am at church they tell us that if our neighbor has something and we wish we had one too, we are going to hell for being covetous. I follow the blog of a very nice lady who is fixing up a small farm to be a beautiful, productive, wonderful home. I am jealous of all the hard work she gets to do there. This past week, my neighbor adopted a little Maltese puppy. He is so cute!! I wish I had a little Maltese puppy too.

It looks like I’ll be heading to hell. Maybe I’ll see you there?

Should I be worried that there’s another cute boy in town?

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Spare yourself the anxiety worrying over tariffs when dealing with products from other countries. Buy the young man in your life quality Made in America clothing for the next special occasion in his life completely tariff free! (To read more about each item, please follow this link: Boys Department.)

These, and other items for young men, can be found in my shop at L Bowman Studios.

Death of a Frenemy

Going Out Of Business.  You guys are so lucky.

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This is beyond humiliating.

(Part of my image was borrowed from the internet.)

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I was really surprised when my neighbor told me that our local JoAnn’s store had closed down. I had been there just a few weeks before to buy supplies for gifts for my niece’s coming twins. When I was there, I noticed updates to the store from the last time I had been there. Even though I couldn’t afford to shop there often, I presumed others were able to.

I got curious and checked online and found out that the entire JoAnn corporation had gone out of business. Ours wasn’t just an isolated closure of a store that wasn’t doing well. What mixed feelings this brought up! While I disagreed with the direction the chain had been taking, I didn’t wish for their failure. I wished they would get better.

Just as this area is a Pet Black Hole, it is also a Retail Back Hole. There used to be several fabric stores in the county, but now there are none. You can buy a few calicoes or a bit of fleece at Michael’s (there is no Hobby Lobby in this area), but you’re up a creek if you want to do any upholstery work or make outerwear. There are some online sources for fabrics, but I hate to buy without being able to touch and see the fabric in person. What is “heavy” to you may not be to me.

On top of this, recent news has featured shipping companies’ use of non-English speaking illegal workers to drive trucks in the country. More were hired during the shutdown because there was a sudden increase in the demand for goods shipped to homes. While these drivers are to be commended for finding work, it turns out their lack of familiarity with the country’s language(s) has led to an inordinate number of accidents. Now authorities are cracking down on drivers without proper qualifications. This means shipping companies will no longer be able to abuse their workers by making them live in their trucks or monkeying with the logs so that they work more hours than they are allowed. To us, it means that shipping costs are going to go up. Hooray, first our B&Ms are pushed out, and now we will have trouble affording shipping costs.

This news comes at a time of my own personal identity crisis. Last year my PT recommended that I go to OT. He said, “Wouldn’t it be nice to do some exercises and be able to go back to doing the things you love?” Yes, that did sound nice. My OT, however, said that I need to avoid activities that put stress on my joints. It turns out that most of the things I do/did put undo stress on my joints. In other words, I have to stop doing them.

Since OT, I’ve been trying to figure out who am I? What do I do? Working with my hands was my way of dealing with legs that don’t function properly. Now no hands? As I go through my One Thing Each Day challenge, I’m trying to figure out how much fabric I should keep. Is sewing even a part of my future? If it isn’t, what is?

Even though I may no longer need JoAnn’s services, I am saddened that the business is gone. Maybe with the country’s focus on making goods in America, we’ll find ourselves in a position to open fabric supply stores that have goods people will actually want to work with (natural fibers!!!) and be able to afford.

The gifts I made from my recent (last) trip to JoAnn’s.

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Cross stitched afghan with roses and bows on it.

For beautiful, made in America, tariff-free gifts, come visit my shop at L Bowman Studios!

Fresh Hell, Revisited

You remember how a while ago I read that psoriasis can show up in some really awful places?  Yes.....

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Then I thought I had some but you guys just laughed and told me it wasn't psoriasis but ant bite?

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Well t his time it isn't an ant bite.  Oh.  Oh!

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Ew.

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(The original “Fresh Hell” post, in case you’re interested.) What can I say? Life just keeps getting better and better!

Maybe if I don’t look at her no one will realize we’re together.

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I read recently that journaling is a great way to improve mental health. I’ve always considered Bitey Dog to be my journal, so I thought this would be a nice excuse to play online more. However….yesterday it took my PC an hour and a half to do computer-slowing scans, and by the time it was done I no longer had time to work. Today stupid Windows Updates stole over two hours from me before I could sit down to journal. I talked to a friend this week who had to make four phone calls to four different representatives to re-schedule a charitable donation pickup. If someone really wants to help us with mental health, make effing things work right the first time!!! Sheesh.

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Handmade Butterfly Quilt.

Spring is right around the corner! Soon flowers and butterflies will be everywhere. Bring some of that springtime joy into your home with this handmade Butterfly Quilt.

A handmade Butterfly Quilt would brighten your guest bedroom with a patchwork look reminiscent of the quilts Grandma used to make.  The soft, cozy quilt would welcome your guests and help them to feel at home.

Handmade Butterfly Quilt, and other fine gifts, are available from my shop at L Bowman Studios.