What’s Going On In The Garden?

Beets me!

Large garden beet

Really, this is how large it was. Not a record-breaker, but still pretty good sized.

Believe it or not, these are both cucumbers.

The cucumber on the left was 18″ long and nearly 3 lbs. The one on the right was even bigger. (I have a friend with some funny tales about a neighbor who accidentally made cucumber bread instead of zucchini bread.) The yellow one was as sour as a lemon. Interesting…a self-pickling cucumber!

Large garden okra

Okra – still pretty tasty despite being large.

Garden watermelon

Thankfully the watermelon was regular sized.

This year was the shortest garden season we’ve ever had. It lasted less than three weeks. The the beginning of the month we had slightly cooler temperatures and a little rain, and everything exploded. After that we were back to high heat and drought. I couldn’t believe that I actually had to buy a zucchini from the store this summer. Normally I find myself tricking the neighbors saying things like “This one would be perfect for zucchini bread!’ then foisting off a green baseball bat on them. This afternoon I finished pulling up about half of my plants. It is too hot and too late in the season for them to produce more. It is sad to know that the garden is basically done.

Gallery o’ Weird Vegetables

(from years gone by)

Get your mind out of the gutter. Those are sweet potatoes.

Somehow I seem to end up with mostly oddly shaped food. Perhaps that is why nobody want to come over for dinner.

I’ll have dinner with you…as long as it’s beans!

(Max, don’t look)

Boy's dress shirt, tie and suspenders

If your young man will be starting back to in-class school soon, it might be hard to find clothes since most stores and malls are closed. Stop by my store to see what is available to help your child make those important first impressions.

If Jim Henson Designed a Sunflower

Has anyone ever seen a sunflower like this one? It is a first for me. I thought it looked like something Jim Henson would dream up.

Ordinary sunflower

This is the flower right next to it. I planted them both from the same batch of seeds. They are supposed to be giant plants with 12-14″ heads like the one below.

Photo of drooping, giant sunflower head.
Cairn terrier peeing.

I peed on it. Doesn’t that make it MY sunflower?

This is also my first attempt with the new editor. While not terrible, it doesn’t feel like an improvement. It just seems like a lot more clicks to accomplish the same work.

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Cover of the book Dream Our World

Come with Bitey and Toby to the Museum of the Imagination in Dream Our World. There you can view the world of art from a canine perspective and enjoy a day – or eight months – of unsupervised fun!

Dream Our World is available at my shop, L Bowman Studios, and from Amazon.

Chia Pet

What's that, Geordie? Did you get a chia pet? No, Toby rolled in the grass after his bath.

I think the grass was extremely happy that Toby did that.  It was the most moisture it had experienced in months.

When I went to wash Toby’s behind in the tub, he howled.  Ha!  I wonder what was up with that?

Little Cairn terrier.

What do you think was up?  Nothing but my girlfriend’s nose is supposed to go there!!

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Come with my boys on a visit to the Museum of the Imagination in Dream Our World.  There you can experience the world of art from a canine perspective and enjoy a day of unsupervised fun!

Cover of the book Dream Our World

Dream Our World is available from my shop and from Amazon.

 

Don’t Read This (Paving My Road to Hell)

Jesus rejects supplicants because they are not wearing masks.

Ew!  get away!  You’re not wearing masks!

I told you not to read this.

Church is not for me. My mom loves it, though, and I love my mom, so I sit beside her to keep her company.  In this state, the rule is that if you are outside and more than 6′ away from another person, you don’t have to wear a mask.  Due to logistical issues, churches hold services outside instead of in their buildings.  Parishioners scatter themselves across the grounds and the parking lot.

Some people have decided that even outdoors and 6’+ away from other humans, they still feel at risk.  Rather than moving even further away from their neighbors, they decided to write to the priest who initiated a campaign of mask shaming.  I guess around here we have that super virus that is self-propelled.

This past week, the sermon was about being quiet and listening to hear God.  Of course the “bad guys” in the contemporary examples were young children wearing ear buds.  Somehow the priest failed to notice that there wasn’t a single moment of silence in that service for prayer or meditation.  It was filled entirely with organ music and singing.

Young cairn terrier looking over his shoulder.

I’m a terrier.  I am never quiet!

Before everyone left, the priest told listeners that they should be grateful to the volunteers who gave their time to sanitize, sanitize, sanitize the church.*  Then we were told to go forth in confidence and conquer our fears.  From the dirty looks I got when I laughed out loud, I presumed that wasn’t intended to be funny.

Thanks to the many hours I spend each day in the kitchen, I have plenty of quiet time to try to get in touch with a Higher Power.  Instead of amazing revelations, I find such idle questions as, “What happens to the left-overs after pressing olives for olive oil?” in my head.  (If you are curious,  they are dried in the sun and them compressed into briquettes to be used as heating fuel.)

I may not know God’s plans for me, but I know a teeny bit more about olives.

Actually, we puppies are born perfect. We don't need religion to find God like humans do.

*Not sure why all the sanitizing since the people are on the outside.

Oil painting of Westie puppy.

Oil painting of Westie puppy.

If you would like a pet portrait, order now before I am sent directly to hell!  Details about sizes and pricing – as well as other examples of my work – can be found at my website L Bowman Studios.

 

 

 

Pea Bane

 

Very small pea plant breaking ground

See my little pea?  I went out super early in the mud and the cold to plant him and his kin so that they would have lots of time to grow big and strong before the heat arrived.

What arrived instead?  The bunny brothers!!!

Mixed media sketch of a bunny

Seriously, what kind of an idiot would lovingly portray vermin such as this?!?  Oh, wait…

Thanks to those two idiot rabbits, my plants never got any larger than in the picture.  If they dared grow over 1″ high, they were chomped off.

 

Garden snake

I tried inviting a snake into the garden, but it turned its head away and lithped thomething about being thcared of bunnies.  I guess this one wasn’t a self-motivated hard worker like that Garden of Eden snake.

Bunny hole dug into garden

Although I have a fence, it didn’t keep the bunny brothers out.  They tunneled in under the tomato plants.  Their tunnel was big enough that it eventually caused the tomato plants to fall over.

 

Snake and dead toad

(Hey snake, why don’t you crawl down that hole?  Snake: “No thankth.  I think I will justh keep eating thith dead toad.”)

I tried using spray made of rotten eggs and garlic and a host of foul things.  The label said that it was supposed to repel all different sorts of animals.Oh gross! The wind shifted!

 

I guess in the manufacturer’s world, “repel” means “come hither”.  Not only did the bunnies like it but so did my dogs.

Mmm...Mummy. What IS that intoxicating scent you're wearing?!?

Cairn terrier stalking prey

Come on Ma, just let me off this leash, and your bunny problem will be history!

Drawing of bunny wearing Bane maskBunny Bane

Why doesn’t the governor force the bunnies wear masks?  It would make it a lot harder for them to eat my vegetables.

If you would like to send pictures of vermin (bunnies) to friends and family, then come visit my store at L Bowman Studios.  I have several styles of note cards to fit your correspondence needs. Mixed media sketch of a bunny

(Oh, and if you haven’t been to the Post Office lately, they have some interesting holographic dinosaur stamps for sale!)

 

Back to School Clothes for Boys

Chances are your young man has outgrown his nice clothes since last school year.  With complications from widespread shutdowns, it is difficult to find a store that sells finer attire for boys.

In my Online Store, I have a nice selection of handmade items for your young man to face his first in-person school classes this year or to present his best self for video religious services.

Please feel free to visit my store at L Bowman Studios or to share links on social media sites.  I have more items that I will be adding as soon as I can.

Cairn terrier approaches his stuffee chili pepper toy.

A growing boy could always use a collar or new green sweater.

 

Bagpipes

 

Drawing of man playing bagpipes

Hronk! Hwee! Would you guys like some Benedryl?

I wasn’t sure I would ever be able to post this story.  I drew it several years ago when Geordie was hronking and Toby was reverse sneezing.  They made such a cacophony together!  I figured it was allergies and gave them some medicine so they could rest.

Not long after, I found out that lung cancer was the real reason behind Geordie’s funny noises.  I felt awful that I made fun of my poor puppy when he was seriously sick.

Geordie assuaged my guilt somewhat by living far beyond what the vet predicted.  When he finally left, he went on his own terms – old age.  He never did succumb to the cancer.

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Oil painting of Westie puppy.

Oil painting of Westie puppy.

Capture a memory of your own amazing furbeast with a pet portrait from L Bowman Studios.  Visit my site for more information on sizes and pricing.

Bedtime: Not As Much Fun As It Used To Be

The prolonged heat of this summer has left me with another case of eyes so swollen and sore that I can barely see. Having the air of fans or AC blowing across them – even while I sleep – has caused a serious enough situation that I needed to take action.

Oh no! Mommy is being kidnapped! No, I am just covering my eyes to help keep them protected from the fan while I sleep. Hey, someone help me to bed, will ya?

I tried a bandana, but that didn’t work.

Not my image

If your eyes are bad enough, there are sleep goggles to keep your eyes hydrated at night.  They also make you look a bit like Carrie-Anne Moss in The Matrix.  The catch?  They are around $60+ shipping, and they only last a few months.

 

The blindfold didn't work, but I read that wrapping your eyes with plastic wrap might keep them protected during the night. Could one of you help me to bed? Hey, you're covering the wrong part of your face.

As an alternative, I found someone’s more economical suggestion of using clingy plastic wrap to cover your eyes.  I don’t have plastic wrap, so I borrowed some for  my nocturnal experiment.  That night I put a big blob of what amounts to ophthalmic petroleum jelly in my eyes, wrapped them up and tried to sleep.

The plastic wrap was hot and crackly, but it did clue in to something I hadn’t known before.  I had never realized that I open my eyes even before I fall asleep.  The plastic crackled every time I did, and I would force myself to close them again.  Sadly, the gel and the plastic wrap still did not solve my problem.

I think I've got it this time. Now I am using tape to keep my eyes clsoed! Boys? cCould someone help me to bed?

Yup, the next step was taping my eyes closed.

I am one of those lucky individuals who has a negative reaction to the adhesive on surgical tape and Band Aids.  This led me on a hunt for hypoallergenic tape that wouldn’t cause my eyes to swell shut.  (Although that probably would have solved my problem.)

Interestingly, while searching to tape, I found out that the latest fad is “mouth taping”.  Seriously.  It promotes breathing through your nose while you sleep, and it is supposed to cause you to sleep more deeply and wake more refreshed.  Imagine all those logopthalmic mouth breathers all taped up like mummies at night!

I still haven’t discovered a proper solution to my problem, but I’ve found that using tape and plastic wrap over my eyes gives the most comfortable results.  (My mom cringed when I told her that.  “Comfortable?” she asked.   Oddly enough, yes.)

hello, Canine Protective Services? HELP!!!

Toby innocently stands there, wondering what mommy is looking at.

Isn’t there someone out there who would like to adopt a little terrier? I am a good boy, and I don’t bark too much.  Please?

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Oil painting of Westie puppy.Oil painting of Westie puppy.

Capture memories of your own furry companion with a pet portrait from L Bowman Studios.  Pet portraits make great gifts for birthdays or Christmas.  You can also order one as a loving tribute for a friend or family member who has lost someone dear to them.

Information about sizes and pricing are available at my website:  L Bowman Studios.

 

 

 

 

Encounter With a Bug

Recently the question was asked if we’ve ever had an  encounter with a bug.  Well, here is mine:

Bee Sting Eye

I am aesthetically challenged under the best of circumstances, so the bee who stung my eye did not do me any favors.  (This has happened to me twice, but I guess I only took a picture of one.)

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Cover of the book Dream Our World

Real museums still aren’t open, so if you would like to experience the world of art, come with my boys to the Museum of the Imagination! Inside Dream Our World, Bitey and Toby explore to their hearts’ content while enjoying a day of unsupervised fun.

Dream Our World is available form my shop, L Bowman Studios.