Engelbert Humpamint
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Memories
First Week Memories
These memories are for when I look back and try to recall what Toby did at which stages of development.
During his first week….
I had to add water to Toby’s kibble because he was too little to eat the chunks when they were dry.
Toby didn’t know how to shake. First he would shake the back end, then the front end. He didn’t know how to shake them together to properly fluff his fur.
At first, Toby was too tiny to make the first step out of the front door, so I would carry him. One time, I was carrying him inside my coat for the five steps from the front door to the snow when he just conked out. I couldn’t bring myself to wake him, so I just stood there with the puppy tucked in my coat. Toby was too tiny to see, and as people drove past, they gave me the strangest looks. (“Look at the odd woman standing in the yard looking at her coat!”)
Geordie wasn’t a happy camper because he had to wait inside.
Gallery o’ Weird Vegetables
Geordie and I garden in the summer. Here are some of the stranger veggies we have found growing in there.
Gimme a kiss!
Chernobyl Snoopy potato with tumors.
Twisted Love Carrots
Anatomy Tomato
(I have found that when women look at this, they see a bum. When guys look at it, they see boobs.)
Mega carrot.
Maxwell’s Potato Hammer
“Hello!”
This one grew with the “hand” sticking up out of the dirt. It put me in the mind of zombies for some reason…..
The red tomato is a regular sized tomato. The yellow one weighed several pounds. Before he could take over the world, I turned the yellow one into sauce!
Howlaween / Magenta
To Geordie’s dismay, his streak of having manly Halloween costumes ran out when I decided to dress him as Magenta from The Rocky Horror Picture Show. (At least he was a good sport when I went to take his picture.)
Biscuit Dust
Geordie is really fond of Breath Buster biscuits, and when he finished a package all that remained were very fine crumbs. Since he liked the biscuits so well, I figured he would enjoy the crumbs, so I poured them into his bowl and let him help himself.
I didn’t give it another thought until later I saw him sitting up on his haunches, using his paws like a bunny washing her face. What?!? Geordie doesn’t wash his face that way! Upon investigation, I found that the biscuit dust I had given Geordie had turned into a paste and stuck securely to the roof of his mouth. I wanted to use my finger to gently dislodge it for him, but he would not let me put one in his mouth. (The look on his face said that he thought I was going to try to take the food from him.)
Hmm…what can I use? I know, his toothbrush! I grabbed his toothbrush (and promised him that could still eat the food) and carefully pried the paste loose. I thought it was interesting that Geordie would allow a tool in his mouth (but not a hand), and it made me grateful that I had gotten him used to it.
Today’s lesson: if you give your puppy biscuit dust, make sure it is in tiny quantities so it doesn’t stick to his mouth.
The Real Reason I Brush Puppy’s Teeth
In the past week, the subject of brushing your dogs teeth has come up several times among friends. These days, I tell myself that the reason I do it is for my dog’s health. Thinking about it, however, started to bring up long-buried memories of why I really brush Bitey’s teeth…
Prior to Geordie, my family had a dog, and in all his years we never brushed his teeth. We never even thought about brushing a dog’s teeth. When I first heard about the practice, I thought people were going overboard with anthropomorphizing their pets. On the day Geordie showed up on my doorstep, my folks brought along a little puppy starter kit with a leash and bowls and toothbrush/toothpaste. I wasn’t sure how much I would use it, but it was a gift, so I wanted to at least try.
If you’ve ever brushed a puppy’s teeth, you know how awful this process can be. They are bitey creatures by nature, and putting your fingers in their mouths sets you up for a world of hurt. The reason I was so persistent about brushing Geordie’s teeth was that it was a war of wills. He was determined that he was going to be the boss of everything, and I was even more determined to prove him wrong. Wrestling the puppy each day and forcing him to be still while I cleaned his teeth turned out to be a good lesson on which of us was stronger willed.
Eventually, I found a brand of toothpaste that Geordie liked, and that helped the process a lot. Nowadays, he will actually remind me if I forget to brush his teeth. He still doesn’t like the brushing part, and for as long as he can, he stalls and hides his face against my shirt so that I can’t get to him. He thinks he is getting away with something, but to me it is a chance to get some snuggles from my non-snuggly guy.
Go ahead. Hide away, my little boy. I will take all the hugs I can get.
A Good Scottish Name
One day, before puppy had a name, I was out taking him for some exercise. A neighbors saw us and said, “Oh, I see you have a new puppy. What’s her name?” (Everyone always mistook him for a girl.) “Well,” I said, “I found out that terriers come from Scotland and I wanted him to have a a Scottish name, so I decided to call him ‘Wee Evil Beastie!'”
What IS That?!? Yipe! Yipe! Yipe!
After our “pet me until I go to sleep” experience on our first night, I woke up on the second day cautiously optimistic that perhaps the puppy did like me after all. Maybe our relationship was going to be OK!
That afternoon, the puppy was engrossed with a toy, so I decided to sneak into the next room and grab the newspaper. The puppy apparently didn’t notice me leave the room, but he heard me rustle the paper and came to investigate. What did he find? A strange person!! This scared him so badly that he scrunched his eyes shut and ran screaming (Yipe! Yipe! Yipe!) as fast as his little legs would take him. He barreled right into the refrigerator but was too afraid to open his eyes to navigate and kept banging into it again and again.
I sure made an impression on my boy, didn’t I? As soon as I’d left the room, he no longer recognized me! : (
